Tag: Daughters

  • Putting the Kid to Work

    I’m putting the kid to work today. We are going to paint baseboards. See, I was able to paint everything in the kid’s room; purple walls with white doorways and the windows. The only thing I wasn’t able to get to were the baseboards. Hence why I’m putting the kid to work. Also, I would like her to take a little ownership of her space, as well. You know, make her feel that the room belongs to her. But I also know that it’s just fun to play with paint.

    And the Summer is winding down. There is only three weeks left to the kid’s Summer vacation, and I am sure this won’t be the last time I will say this, but the Summer has gone by really fast. This week, we’ll do our back to school shopping, and next week we have our meet and greet with the kid’s new teacher. Then Labor Day, and the school starts.

    And the cycle starts all over again.

    Which means it virtually Christmas, right?

    What I am trying to remind myself is that I have limited, one on one time with the kid. She’s getting older, becoming her own person, and won’t want to be around me forever. As she grows, our relationship will change, has already changed actually, and that’s something I need to get used to.

    I can see why some parents never want their kids to get older, or change. (Just stay small and innocent, you know.) I like the fact that she’s getting feisty and opinioned. This sword cuts both way as wanting her to be her own person means that she will have to pull away from me. This isn’t a new story in the world, but it is one that I am experiencing for the first time.

    But for today, we’ll paint baseboards together. And I have a feeling that she will make me listen to The Descendants soundtrack, again.

    (Oh Yeah! If you read this, clearly you have, and if it struck you as entertaining, then if you could be a pal and leave a like, or a comment, or share it to the furthest reaches of the UNIVERSE!)

  • My Daughter Called Me Out

    On Saturday night, the kid came out of her room, and told me that she wanted to make a movie. RIGHT NOW! I thought about it for a second, and said yes. Over the course of an hour, she explained to me the story she wanted to tell, I came up with the shot, and we filmed it. The story was of a detective who is hired to find out what happened to the mummy in the museum. The mummy comes to life and the detective sets a trap which captures the monster.

    It was fun, and we are still editing the thing together. Hopefully we will get it completed for festival season.

    I was older than my kid when I started trying to make home movies. I think I was fourteen, and my dad was willing to help out. Though he didn’t want to be on camera unless he really had to, but he was willing to do all the other work. When the kid came out and told me that we had to make a movie, my first thought was of my dad, and how this was my moment to step up, just like he did.

    When I was tucking the kid in that night, I told her how much fun I had with her, and also let her know that her grandfather helped me make movies when I was a kid, too.

    Then the kid said to me, “I didn’t think you would say yes. You say no to things like this.”

    And my heart broke.

    I thought I was the dad who said yes to creative things the kid wants to do. But clearly, I’m the dad that says no. I guess I should feel honored that I was even asked. Either way, it was a huge gut punch. And it happened the day before Father’s Day.

    Unggg…

    By the way, I totally believe her, because when she said it, in my head, I was like yup, I do say no too often. And for the life of me, I’m not sure how I got here.

    (Say! If you enjoyed this post, please take a moment to like, share, or comment on it. These interactions determines my worth as a human.)

  • Short Story Review: “After the Funeral” by Tessa Hadley

    (The short story “After the Funeral,” by Tessa Hadley, appeared in the March 28th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    I don’t think I’m telling you something that you don’t already know, but there sure aren’t many stories about mother and daughters. Hey, I know that there are some great mother and daughter stories out there, but if you compare it to the number of father and son stories, then you can see that mother/daughter’s haven’t been given enough due.

    “After the Funeral” by Tessa Hadley is a mother/daughter story. It begins just like you’d think, after the funeral of Philip, a BOAC pilot who has died in a hotel away from his wife, Marlene, and his two daughters, Charlotte age nine, and Lulu age seven. Marlene is so grief stricken that her two daughters have to step in, not only to console their mother, but also to push her to just function as their mother. Soon it is revealed that Philip wasn’t a very good father nor husband, as when he died, he was not alone in his hotel. Soon, Philip’s family, especially an over baring mother-in-law, steps in to take charge of Marlene, Charlotte and Lulu’s life; sorting out finances, having them move to a more affordable flat, paying for the girl’s school, and helping Marlene get a job at a doctor’s office. Time passes for this small family, and soon the married doctor Marlene works for starts spending more time with her and the girls, but soon Marlene is let go from the job due to implied reasons. Marlene finds another job at a grocery store that supports her family, and fulfills her. At the same time Charlotte is accepted to go to University, but refuses because she feels her mother cannot function without someone watching out for her. The doctor reappears, now having separated from his wife and wants to marry Marlene, but Marlene cannot commit to him, which bothers Charlotte immensely, as the marriage to the doctor would allow Charlotte to leave her mother, and go off to college.

    It is a very well-made plot, and a very well-made story. It’s beautifully written, and shows that Tessa Hadley is a very good writer. Yet, something was still off for me. It was the climax of the story, which I will not spoil. This story is very direct, which is shown by the fact that the title is literally the first line of the story, which to me signaled that this is the moment that these lives all changed their trajectory. What they thought their lives would be has completely changed, and the relationship between Marlene and Charlotte is central to that idea. Marlene has not been the maternal one, relegating that responsibility to Charlotte. And when the climax arrives, and Marlene starts to behave motherly toward Charlotte, Charlotte slips right in to accepting this affection. I found it odd because there was no resentment from Charlotte to her mother, no angst, anger, spite, nothing. Why it bothers me is not that I believe a daughter wouldn’t accept this consoling from her oft-absent mother, but because the story had laid out a very methodical cause and affect motivation for these two characters. It left me with a “meh” feeling because I wanted these characters to reconcile the way they did, but I didn’t feel it was authentic to the story that was laid out. Sticking the landing in a short story is tough, not matter what the story is about. I liked that these characters were messy, but not abnormal; just off a little. They cared about each other, but clearly wanted different things in their lives. It is complicated. As mother and daughter relationships can be, but also illuminating in showing how we become the people that we are, which is why these stories need to be told.