Tag: Daughter

  • You’re Embarrassing Me!

    My kid finds me embarrassing. This isn’t some shock or revelation, or even a surprise. All kids find their parents embarrassing at some point, right? It just comes with the territory. With my kid starting at a new school, she has found me more embarrassing than usual of late. I am a silly person, I admit that, but I also know that the kid is trying to fit in, and what she wants is for there to be nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to disrupt or rock that boat. I get it, and I have been on my better behavior to just be normal.

    But I would also like to point out that even my “normal” behavior has been deemed embarrassing. So, this appears to be a no-win situation, because as I have mentioned above, all kids find their parent embarrassing.

    In my time, it was my mother who put a “Jesus Loves You” bumper sticker on the back of her poo brown Chevet. I mean, it was bad enough she drove a shit colored Chevet, but reminding everyone that Jesus in fact did love them was a bridge too far for me. It was junior high, and as soon as I got out of that car, all the kids at school would begin to yell at me “Jesus Loves You!” There were a few creative bullies out there who would add “Satan Loves You, Too!”

    But I started thinking this morning, being that I am now on Team Parent, that there is nothing wrong with me, so why should I have to change? If I am being my true authentic self, then there is no reason for me to adjust my behavior. I’m not the problem here. I’m just me and the kid is just going to have to come to terms with that.

    And yet this feels like the wrong attitude to have in this situation…

  • Women’s World Cup: Spain v England – Final

    Couple of things here –

    I call bullshit on Prince William not going to Australia to support England’s team. That whole, saving the environment by not flying there, thing is just the laziest of excuses. We all know that shit wouldn’t have been pulled on the men’s team. It would have been an easy win for the Prince to show up at the final with his daughter cheering on the Lionesses. Besides, Queen Letizia and Princess Sofia of Spain were able to make it. Just saying.

    Honestly – who picked Spain the win this thing?

    And furthermore, we all should have picked Spain to win this thing. Clearly, they knew something we didn’t.

    As for the match, Spain was the better squad. Really, England was never in this game. Sure, Mary Earps had a hell of a match stopping that penalty kick, England’s only bright spot, but they didn’t start to get their act together well into the second half, and at that point it was too late. Spain was in control of this game from the start, and it never ceased to feel like they knew they were going to win this. In the end, the better team won, which I guess is what you want to see in a final. Nevermind all of Spain’s drama off the pitch, because in the end, what matters is how you play the game on the field.

    And last; I got up at 6am to watch the Final. I also woke up my daughter, and the two of us snuggled up on the couch to watch these two teams play. For all the craziness that happened in this World Cup, this was the moment that I had been waiting for – watching with my kid. I don’t know if this will have a deep impact on her, but it was a moment in time where we were together, watching the best players in the world go at it, and give it everything they had. It was fun and I’m glad that we shared it together.

  • School Recitals

    My daughter had her Spring School Recital this morning. I won’t be reviewing the performances, so to speak (I will leave that to more professional writers like Frank Rich and David Sedaris,) but I would like to talk about the kids who clearly don’t want to be there.

    When I was in grade school, I was the kid that wanted to be front and center. I tried to sing the loudest, and get the most attention. I was a drama nerd from very early on. Hence why I persuaded a professional performance and theatrical career. All be it from behind a puppet, but still. Being up in front of people is a place where I am comfortable, and watching the kids in my daughter’s class, I could see that she and a few others also enjoyed having an audience.

    Yet, I do know and understand that for most people, have a group of people eagerly stare at you is not a fun way to spend any length of time. I took a moment to watch those kids today. The kids that were told they had to be up there, and sing along. I am happy to say there weren’t any trouble makers – no one went out of their way to sabotage the proceedings. These were the kids that were looking up at the ceiling, and mouthing the words. Doing anything to just get through the three minutes of singing.

    And when the song was over, and the half hearted bow was given, then the spark of joy and excitement came across their faces as they could NOW start leaving the stage to return back to their classrooms. It was like a magic switch was thrown, and they popped back to being kids.

    My kid was awesome, by the way.

  • Staten Island Ferry

    I need to admit to myself, that as long as the kid is young enough to need me to get around the City, that every Spring Break will be a week of me entertaining the kid. There is a voice in my head that keeps saying that it’s not my job to keep the kid entertained, and that is true. But “entertaining the kid” for me means that I am keeping her off a screen for a couple of hours.

    To that end, we rode the Staten Island Ferry yesterday. It’s free, runs every thirty minutes, and gives you an amazing view of the Statue of Liberty, and Ellis Island. That also means the ferry is loaded with tourists. But if you know what you’re getting into, it can be a lot of fun.

    The kid had never been on the ferry, and she also hadn’t been to Staten Island before. I mean, she is a natural born New Yorker, and if you’re going to be a New Yorker, you have to have visited all five boroughs.

    I love riding the ferry. It used to be one of the “go to” attractions I would take people to when they came to visit, but I hadn’t been on the thing in close to eight years. It’s fun to cross the upper harbor and see the City from the water. I like trying to imagine what it was like to live there, 500 years ago, before the Dutch arrived. But then to also think what it must have looked like when the British Navy blockaded the harbor and invaded Brooklyn. The history buff side of me goes into over drive thinking about how many events and persons have passed through that harbor. You know, once it got so cold that the harbor froze, and you could walk across the ice from Manhattan to Staten Island.

    Watching the kid experience the ferry was a parental treat that I enjoyed deeply. Seeing her enjoy the cold air whipping her hair around, and asking me questions about ships, and New York, and the old forts that ring the harbor. It was fun to have these moments of entertaining her for the afternoon.

  • Thoughts on Time and Settling (Unedited)

    The wife and I made a promise to each other for 2023. I don’t want to call it a resolution, because those are stupid, and doomed to fail. The promise we made was twofold:

    “No more wasting time, and no more settling.”

    This isn’t self-help garbage, like the “Hang in There” kitten poster. This is a pragmatic reminder.

    We do waste an enormous amount of time each day. Looking at our phones is the biggest culprit. But also, mindless eating while looking at the tv. Staying up late to stay up late (that one’s all me) and I have to go back and mention the phones again, because, you know, phones will eat up hours of your day. See, and this time wasting leads to us having to settle on things, because we haven’t given ourselves enough time to accomplish the things we want to do. It can be a vicious cycle, and we’d like to bust out of unhealthy cycles.

    And like all changes in life, no one really likes it, and it’s hard to follow though on.

    The wife is doing better than I. She is making it to yoga on the scheduled days, and going to bed on time. I can’t seem to get to the gym more than twice a week, and that should increase to at least three to four days a week. Like I said above, I’m still not making it to bed on time, which means I’m only getting like six hours of sleep.

    And as we start the game of setting goals and trying to achieve them as a family, I can’t shake the feeling that there is a clock, and I am running out of time. Maybe it has to do with being in my mid-forties, which I have been thinking about a lot of late, and that I might need to have to make some tough choices; I can’t do it all – something will have to fall to the wayside and be left behind.

    I have been with my wife for seventeen years, married for twelve, and they have been good years. We have a kid we love, and want to provide for, which is the real motivation for this. We will only have so much time with her, and then she will be out there in the world. We need to be parents that she can count on, and follow through when we say we are going to do something.