Tag: Dad

  • Mom’s Out of Town! What to Eat?

    Not that this happens very often, but the wife is out of town for a work conference, which means it’s just me and the kid this week. This situation means different things to different people. For my wife, this conference is an opportunity to network, gain more knowledge, and further her career. For me, it is a little more work taking care of the kid by myself, but I am happy that I can help support my wife’s career while at the same time, I get the home office to myself, so I can work on my writing projects. For the kid, who is a little sad that mom’s not around, but she is tempering this because in her mind, she gets to eat fast food with dad. And I know that’s true because the kid said that to me last night.

    Now, let me explain…

    See, on the whole, we really don’t eat fast food in our family. We try to cook at home as much as possible, and when we don’t feel like cooking, we either order out, or go to a local restaurant. When we do eat fast food, it’s usually because we are traveling on the road and need something quick. When the kid usually gets fast food, it’s because she’s over at a friend’s home, and it turns out to be a big treat for her – in the “forbidden fruit” kind’a idea of a treat. The wife is more adamant about no fast food as compared to me, but we are both in agreement that the kid needs to have a healthy relationship with food, and she needs to know how to cook healthy for herself when she heads out on her own.

    That was a real long way to go to say that dad get her Chipotle last night. And I do really like Chipotle, it is my one weakness; if I can get it without catching any grief from the wife, I will.

    But the kid has upped the ante; She wants to try Taco Bell. And I am torn on this one. I used to eat a lot of Taco Bell when I was in college, but I didn’t eat it for flavor – I ate it because it was cheap. I am pretty sure the kid wants it because normally she would never get it, but we have good Mexican food in our neighborhood; two good restaurants, and three taco trucks. Maybe they are a little more expensive, but they taste way better!

    I know that I will cave, and I know that I will suffer for it.

  • Talking to my Dad

    I video chat with my dad every week. We occasionally text when something funny happens, or when we need to change the time that we will video chat, but video chat is the main way that we communicate with each other.

    He sits in his study; I sit in my office/bedroom. Sometimes my wife wanders in to say hello, or to join in the conversation. The kid comes in from time to time. Usually for about five or ten minutes to tell grandpa about all the things that is going on. I don’t force them to join, nor do I try to exclude them from talking to my father – it’s an open-door policy – but I especially don’t want them to feel obligated to talk to him.

    These chats are a continuation of the weekly chats I had with my mother before she passed. I mean I always called my parents on Sunday, as they did to their parents. The video chatting started when the kid was born, and Ma wanted to see her granddaughter. Who can blame her, the kid is pretty cute. Yet, in all these video chats in the past, my dad would be there, but he would hang out on the periphery of the screen. He was there, paying attention, throwing in a comment or two, but he was clearly in a supporting role.

    After my Ma passed, I made a point of wanting these chats to continue. Making sure that my Dad had someone to talk to, even if I was 1,500 miles away. (I wasn’t the only one. My brothers and sisters-in-law also made sure that he wasn’t alone, but they do live within driving distance of him.) For many reasons, it wasn’t easy at first. With so much loss and sadness, it can take some time to find your footing again, and also discover that joy can still be had in this world.

    Now, six years on, the guy doesn’t stop talking. It’s like he’s had all these conversation in him, and now he can’t wait to get them out!

    I know that I am lucky and fortunate that I am getting this time with him, to know him.

  • Rockin’ Out in the Car

    You know how much Taylor Swift I listened to this weekend? And this has nothing to do with the Kansas City/Baltimore game on Sunday. I was the “Dad Taxi” and, oh, did I get my own version of The Eras Tour in the car. Yes, two Tween-girls were eating candy, chatting non-stop between singing Taylor songs, and it was like I wasn’t even there.

    And I couldn’t have been happier.

    I had no idea what to expect when I found out the kid was going to be a girl all those years ago. I had two older brothers, so my childhood was nothing but boy things. I can admit I was nervous about raising a girl, but not afraid to do it. I just knew that I was going to enter a place of parenting that I had no frame of reference, and that’s not bad – it’s just a challenge.

    I know that I only have a few years left of her openly acting like she likes me. I know what will come next and that’s okay. I want her to be her own person, and she has to pull away from me to accomplish that. It’s not like she’s going away, but if she’s just a little bit like the adolescent that I was, then she will be in her room all the time, listening to really “deep” music, and no one will be able to understand her. (I was pretty pretentious and obnoxious all at the same time.) But if she’s also like me, she’ll come to the other side of it, and will still talk to me. I got closer to my parents the older I got.

    But for now, I got be witness her getting excited about music and being with her friends. Maybe I did eavesdrop, but it was surprisingly reassuring to hear her voice her opinions and make some pretty funny jokes. Watching the kid grow up.