Tag: #Covid-19

  • Second Vax, Aftermath

    I was anxious the night before I went to go get my second vaccine. I can’t put my finger on why that is. I was anxious for the first one as well, but I chalked that up to anticipation of having waited sooooo long to get this process started. This time around, I knew where I was going, I hadn’t had any fever or anything from the first, and being that I never got Covid in the first place, the odds of me getting an adverse reaction were low. But there I was, up at 5am, thinking about the shot.

    The story that keeps, sadly, showing up in the news is that many people are not getting their second vaccine. The reason for this can be for a mirid of reasons; forgot about the appointment, couldn’t get off work, or got complacent. I think I saw on the news last night that 5 million people haven’t shown up for that second shot.

    My first and second shot were at North Central Bronx Hospital, and I am happy to report that the second shot waiting area was packed. Sadly, it was people my age and older, and I think out of the 40 people I saw, only two were, or at least looked, under 30. That’s not great, but I did take as a point of pride that NYC is taking getting their shots seriously.

    That was yesterday, and as of this morning, all I have is a sore arm. My wife, on the other hand, has a low-grade fever, body aches, and a headache. She did have Covid, way back at the start of this whole mess, so her reaction is what was predicted. Not that it makes her feel any better.

    But it’s done. We are vaxed.

  • Totally Vaxed!

    I got my second does today! I’m all vaxed up!

    Now, if you haven’t yet, go get your shot!

  • Trouble Sleeping, Some Anxiety

    I have been having trouble sleeping of late. The other night was pretty bad. It took a while for me to get tired, and then when I did go to bed, I couldn’t stay asleep. It felt like I was waking up every thirty minutes or so. The thought that kept replaying in my head was that I wouldn’t be able to get a job when everything gets better, because I will need to get a job. We can get by on one income, but we can’t get ahead unless I bring in some money.

    I keep thinking that I am not going to get a job because I’m too old. And I kept thinking that I am not going to get a job, because I don’t have any useful skills. And I kept feeling worse and worse about myself. It created a downward spiral of negative thought, that I just couldn’t shake.

    And then I went to a very dark place. It wasn’t so much a specific memory, but more of recalling a deep emotional feeling. I started to relive the emotions of the time period when my mother was dying, and the complete lack of sympathy I received from my co-workers. (To make this quick, the place that I worked wanted me to quit to save money, so two co-workers took it upon themselves to bully and harass me so that I would leave. And yes, I did go to HR and they said there was nothing they could do.) It was difficult to deal with the emotions of losing my mother, while also having to survive eight hours of isolation and intimidation. It was a one-two punch that was miserable, and depressingly lonely. I am very fortunate that I have my wife, family, and friends, as without them, I don’t think I would have survived that period.

    I like to think of myself as a mentally well-adjusted and fit person. That was an awful period of time, but I did come out on the other side with a better relationship with my wife, and father, and family, and friends. And all of that was due to talking about it, and sharing, and making ourselves vulnerable which allowed healing. It’s still a work in progress, as there are bad days, like the other night. But… I know it will get better.

  • Covid Weight Gain

    I put on some weight over the pandemic. Let’s say it’s close to twenty pounds. And when I say that it’s close to twenty pounds, I mean that it is over twenty pounds. I have put on over twenty pounds. In fact, I just weighed myself, and it’s 21.3 pounds. Mind you, I was a little pudgy around my middle before the pandemic, but that was due to driving everywhere in California, and not walking like I used to do in New York, But, before California, I had added a little weight after the kid was born, that I never took off. So, I’m thick in the middle. I’m a thick in the middle, middle aged guy.

    And I want to do something about it.

    Part of it is that I have been eating my feelings. Especially eating my feelings late at night when I watch MST3k on Pluto TV. (That’s my happy place.) I used to walk everywhere in pre-pandemic New York, like close to 9,000 steps a day without trying. I just looked at my phone’s pedometer, and looks like I walk about 4,000 steps a day. So, not doing too well there, even for the low hanging fruit. To be successful, I know that I have to change my lazy grazing life style, along with doing some exercise, and just moving more.

    But the issue is just getting started. Getting off my ass and beginning seems like a million miles away. I know all the benefits that will come if I just start working out a little, and I can even go the super vein route and say that I want to look good when I go to the beach this Summer. (Since I will be vaccinated by the start of May, I think I should go on vacation.) And not to mention that I should do things to stay alive for as long as possible, family and kid in all…

    But…

    But… The pandemic sure has made me physically lazy.

    No.

    Actually, the pandemic gave me to opportunity to be lazy, and I took full advantage of it.

  • I Got Vaccinated, and I Waited

    I got my first vaccine today. In three weeks, I will get my second vaccine. And then I guess we start living in a post Covid-19 world.

    That’s all good. And I do want to focus on the fact that we are getting close to living in a world where you can go places and see people. That this vaccine will be my first step in moving towards this world.

    I was nervous going to get the vaccine this morning. Anxious, nervous, feeling off, and butterflies in the stomach; all of that was happening to me as I headed out to The Bronx. Everyone is handling getting their vaccine in their own way. I have friends who dressed up for it, others who started to cry when they got it, and still others who took pictures of the whole process, including the nurse who gave the shot. I had brought my journal, as I wanted to write about it, document what I was thinking and how it felt. I even thought about taking pictures.

    And then I got to the hospital and I just wanted to experience it. Just be. Let it happen, and not think. I filled out my paperwork, and sat in the waiting room. My nurse was a real nice guy, and took me back to the room from my shot. He was an easy going person, and the shot was painless, and he handed me a button showing that I was vaccinated, though I don’t think I should wear it until I get the second shot. You know you have to wait 15 minutes, and I set a timer on my phone, and waited. I waited, and I thought how my salvation was being confirmed by waiting. Not doing, just sitting.