We are desperate for Autumn in our home. For the past two days in NYC, the high has been 78 degrees or so. For us, that means we can shut off the air conditioners, and open up the widows and get some fresh air in here.
Except there really hasn’t been a breeze, which doesn’t help cool things off in the apartment. And then there is the new condo tower going up across the way, with its all glass window exterior which reflects the sun in a focused high beam right into out livingroom, thus warming the whole place up by five degrees or so, between the hours of 2pm to 5pm. I now know what an ant under a magnifying glass feels like. We suffer on with fans going – hoping to move enough air to feel like it’s cool at home.
Which it isn’t.
BUT!
The windows are open. That’s something you do when it’s not hot out. Open windows mean the seasons are changing, and it might, sort of, hopefully, get cool enough so I could put a sweater on at night… Or early in the morning?
This is a silly little hopeful dance we do every year. Thinking that the Summer heat is over, and that we can pack up or short sleeves and shorts, and return them to storage along with the 500-pound window a/c’s that we lug up and down the stains once a year.
What I really want is it to be mid-October, with the leaves changing and I have an afternoon cup of coffee in my hand.
Last night, before we went out Trick or Treating, we had dinner with another couple and their kid. As we were catching up, we inevitably started talking about the rush of the coming Holidays. Thanksgiving, and for them Hanukah, followed by Christmas, then New Years, and both of our kids then have their birthdays about a month after New Year’s. October to the end of January is really a marathon for us.
But it is a wonderful time of year. Walking around last night, as the kids went from stoop to stoop asking for candy, it was a cool but not cold night. There was a crush of kids, always is, but in that chaos was such an eternal innocents to the costumes and candy, and the façade of a world where all children need is to ask for candy, and they receive it. I envy the people who are able to sit in front of their homes, wine or cocktail in hand, and just be generous, and a little tipsy. The changing of the leaves around here has been slow in coming, which created a canopy of yellowish and orange on those tight little streets.
After we got home, and were able to get the kid in bed, the wife asked me when we should start taking the Halloween decorations down? Usually we take then down on the upcoming weekend, as we do have Thanksgiving ornamentation that needs to be placed around the apartment. Leaves and gourds, and lots of orange garland.
I’m trying to stay positive and upbeat during this time of year. The Holidays still have a tinge of sadness for me. This will be the fifth season without my Mom. I feel her in all the things that we do and celebrate, and I can’t help but now think about how “this might be the last year” with certain other family members. I’m trying to find the positive in this realization, as maybe enjoying the time we have should be the paramount concern.
But as such, the marathon is on. The Holidays are afoot! If I’m a good boy, I still might get my martinis and lobster rolls for Christmas!
(Speaking of gifts! If you are thinking of getting me something this year, make it a “like” or a “share” or even a “comment.” But if you would really want to warm my heart, then follow my blog. Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!)
I had mentioned in my post on Friday that my family and I were going out this weekend for some apple picking, and I had joked about how silly the act of picking apples was, but deep down I really enjoy doing it. The place we went was Apple Dave’s Orchards in Warwick, NY, and we’ve gone there for several years and have always had a really enjoyable time. I recommend you head out there, and get the apple cider donuts while you’re at it.
And after the apple picking, we ran a few errands in New Jersey before we headed home to Harlem. While we were running these errands, I felt myself getting edgy. I didn’t have an outbursts, or get mad at anyone, but I could feel this slight level of annoyance building in me. I know myself well enough to know that I needed to remind myself to relax, and not take anything serious.
But for the rest of the weekend, this feeling of frustration never left me. It was also a feeling of stress and anxiety. My shoulders ached. I got a canker sore in my mouth. I had trouble sleeping. I was feeling like I was falling apart, but I could think why? I’m having the normal stresses in life, such as nothing has changed recently. We are plugging away, trying to get ahead like we have been trying for the past two years. Life’s normal.
As I was taking our laundry to the laundromat this morning, I started thinking about my weekend, and how I might want to write a blog about apple picking. I took some pictures of our apple adventure on Saturday, and thought I might want to use them in the blog, which reminded me of the first time we went out to Dave’s Orchards with my parents, who had come to visit us in the fall of 2017. And the reason we go back to Dave’s every year because it is a place that we have fond memories with my mother, who passed away four years ago on October 14th.
And then I knew.
I had forgotten about the anniversary of my mother’s death. Well… consciously I had, but not sub-consciously.
I know that my mother is dead. It’s not like I forgot that. I am at the point now that I can talk about my mother without an issue. I can even talk about her death and the awfulness of losing her. What does get to me is thinking about the things Ma isn’t here for; birthdays, holidays, and a simple phone call. It breaks my heart not being able to share things with her. Whether she wanted it or not, I did talk a lot to her.
It will be a tough week, and I’ll be subdued while just feeling sad. It’s not like I won’t be able to function this week, or that I will be angry or something. What it’s like is having a blanket of melancholy around me, and all events will be filter through that feeling. And that will be manageable.
I just miss my mom, still. That’s all.
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Here we are – Tottenham v Arsenal. The North London Derby. The #1 and #3 team of the Premiere League go at it. Will Spurs stay undefeated? Will Arsenal stay on top of the League? I won’t know because NBC is showing the match in USA, and I don’t have cable. I have Peacock, and the more I say that out loud, the sillier and more embarrassed I feel. What the hell am I paying for if I can’t watch matches live. (Yes, I sound like a bitter old man, and yes, I will start yelling out a cloud next.) Anyway, I saw a report that Dejan Kulusevski got injured this past week, and might not play. On paper that shouldn’t be an issue with Kane, Son and Richarlison up front and Dier anchoring the back line. Still, it is Arsenal which has been playing really well, and if there is a team that can get under Tottenham’s skin, it’s Arsenal. Should be a fun match, but I’ll have to catch it on the replay, because NBC’s Premiere League coverage sucks.
Tomorrow starts October, which means I will go apple picking with my family, and I will have flannel on. Even if it is too warm out, I will be decked out in Autumn appropriate clothing, even if it kills me. It just was the season demands.
Apparently, according to our American Conservative friends, Lizzo isn’t allowed to play an old flute that no one knew existed three days ago. I can’t prove any of this, but I have a feeling that the idea of Lizzo playing the Madison flute probably was thought up by someone in the Library of Congress with the intention of expanding kids’ interest in American history, and Lizzo was all for it. Good intentions, you know… I bet there are a bunch of history nerd at the LoC looking at each other wondering how this flute situation has become “controversial.” I bet the “H.E.R. Playing Lincoln’s Guitar” idea is now out the window.
(Say, before you head over to another blog, do me a favor, huh? I need you to like, share, comment on, or subscribe to this blog. Every click I get helps an angel keep his wings.)
Tottenham isn’t playing this weekend, so I have nothing to say about them this week. Oh, I will have something to say, but not at this time.
What if I told you that no one knows anything? That knowledge, true knowledge, is unattainable. If all of that is true, then do you think that real estate seminar really has secrets to share with you? It’s a con.
Sweater weather means I also need warmer socks.
Friends don’t let friends become Alex Jones-types.
Somedays, it’s hard to get the thoughts organized enough to share them. But what I do know is that Elastica was an underrated band.
(Remember to like, share and comment. Not just on this blog, but in life, too.)
