Tag: Anxious

  • Can’t Stop Watching the News (Unedited)

    I have been fighting very hard to not live in an echo chamber. Though it does feel like the whole world is out to get more, or at least push me into a corner. Trying to stay balanced is tricky, because as we all know, if you search too much of one subject, the Algorithm thinks that’s what you want to see all the time. Or, as a friend pointed out to me, our TVs are listening to us now, so I try to watch what I say around the set, as to not send the wrong message to the AI Overlords.

    I say all of this because the midterm elections are three weeks away, and I am getting anxious about the possible outcomes. I’m not sure I can put my whole faith in the coming “Blue Tsunami” as it might just end up being a “Blue Drop.” Having grown up in Texas, and first hand witnessing that state change from Blue to the deepest of reds, I have a hard time believing that anyone with a D next to their name is going to win a state wide election there. (If Jesus was running with a D, he’d lose in a landslide to an R Satan.) And I can’t shake the feelings that there will be Trump shenanigans the day after the election; claims of voter fraud, and court cases, and attempts to seize votes, or claim that certain winners should be sworn in and seated. You know, normal Trump stuff.

    All this makes me anxious, anxious, anxious.

    I will say this; I do believe that just about everybody (70% or so) is fed up with the state of politics in this country. From government not working, to affordability, to healthcare, to people no longer being civil to each other – I do think people are ready, and yearning for things to change. And change for the better. A change that moves us forward. Not one party over the other, but getting back to having faith in each other and working together.

    Only the hardest core of each side enjoys the state we’re in, and I dare say they only enjoy it because they are profiting off of it. The rest of us? I think we’d like to have a friendly debate, and then compromise on a solution.

    You know; the way it’s supposed to be.

  • Man, Am I Tired

    Not sure what happened. I went to bed at my normal-ish time last night. I did stay up and watch the Oscars, so maybe that had something to do with it.

    I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the Oscars, but it has been over 15 years since I have seen all the best picture nominees, let alone half of them. But I am a movie fan, and I like the spectacle, and it is something fun to debate with friends, and I wanted to see what Conan would do. With all of that said, it was a rather dull affair. My kid wanted to stay up and watch it with me, which I agreed to, but she was out by 9pm.

    When the Oscars were over, and the kid off to bed, I started to watch Becket. I hadn’t seen it since high school, and I didn’t get too far into it. I found Peter O’Toole’s Henry II grating on my nerves, which I understand was the point. Then I thought about watching Lion in Winter, which is also about Henry II but at the end of his life and with succession being the driver of that plot. Though Lion in Winter is not a sequel to Becket, with O’Toole playing Henry II in both films, it sort of very loosely, kind’a is.

    I bring all of this up for no other reason than it occurred to me last night.

    And this morning, I just felt off. Very tired, a little anxious, and all around uneasy about myself and the day before me. The last time I felt like this was when I was working a particular job that I started to despise, and knew it was time for me to leave. But I couldn’t pin down why I was feeling this way, especially on a day like today.

    But there is a very harsh reality with being the age that I am and also having responsibilities of my family; I had to push through it. I had to make breakfast for the gang. I had to get people up and on their way. I had to do laundry and clean up. I had to making chicken stock for dinner, and lunch for the wife. In a little bit, I will take that chicken stock and tech my kid how to make Greek Lemon Soup.

    I just have to keep pushing through, but that feeling hasn’t gone away today.