Tag: AI

  • Best of 2025: Most Viewed Post that Wasn’t a Review – An Open Letter to the Bots from China Flooding My Site

    FYI – My site is still being bombarded by bots from China.

    Greetings Bots from China,

    Welcome to my blog. I know you have been poking around her for the past month and a half, but we haven’t formerly been introduced to each other. So, hello! I’m Matthew Groff.

    And you are? (Please feel free to leave your answers in a comment.) (In fact, anyone who is reading this should feel free to leave a comment.) (And feel free to subscribe as well.)

    Like I said, I have noticed that you bots have looking at all of my posts, and also have been doing searches on different topics. I hope you are finding my posts interesting, and if something does tickle your interest, please give it a “like.” It helps drive traffic, I get a little more money, which will allow me to post more. You, you get how it works.

    I know that there is a chance that you bots are scrubbing my site, stealing my words, ideas and thoughts. If true, it’s not the nicest thing to do, especially if you reuse my intellectual property and try to pass it off as your own. Not cool, and I would hope that you stop.

    But there is a chance that you bots are AI training, and I would like to suggest that this might not be a good idea for you. First of all, I am flattered that you would think that my site would be positive place for your AI to get a better understanding of the world, and how humans think. But if you do go back to when I started the blog in 2017, you’re going to find a bunch of type-o’s and some really bad sentences. (Type-o’s are still a problem if I’m honest, so beware…) I say all of this because you might be teaching your AI to be rather quippy, to use too many non-sequiturs, and share lots of references to shit no one cares about. The again, if you want your AI to sound like an early middle-aged Gen-X white male who grunged too much in his teens and twenties, then you might be in the right place.

    Anyway, I hope you bots found what you’re looking for, and move on your way. I don’t know if you know this, but there are a ton of people out there that blog about home improvement stuff, which I’m sure will be fertile ground for you.

    Wish you the best but please go away,

    Matthew

  • An Open Letter to the Bots from China Flooding My Site

    An Open Letter to the Bots from China Flooding My Site

    Greetings Bots from China,

    Welcome to my blog. I know you have been poking around her for the past month and a half, but we haven’t formerly been introduced to each other. So, hello! I’m Matthew Groff.

    And you are? (Please feel free to leave your answers in a comment.) (In fact, anyone who is reading this should feel free to leave a comment.) (And feel free to subscribe as well.)

    Like I said, I have noticed that you bots have looking at all of my posts, and also have been doing searches on different topics. I hope you are finding my posts interesting, and if something does tickle your interest, please give it a “like.” It helps drive traffic, I get a little more money, which will allow me to post more. You, you get how it works.

    I know that there is a chance that you bots are scrubbing my site, stealing my words, ideas and thoughts. If true, it’s not the nicest thing to do, especially if you reuse my intellectual property and try to pass it off as your own. Not cool, and I would hope that you stop.

    But there is a chance that you bots are AI training, and I would like to suggest that this might not be a good idea for you. First of all, I am flattered that you would think that my site would be positive place for your AI to get a better understanding of the world, and how humans think. But if you do go back to when I started the blog in 2017, you’re going to find a bunch of type-o’s and some really bad sentences. (Type-o’s are still a problem if I’m honest, so beware…) I say all of this because you might be teaching your AI to be rather quippy, to use too many non-sequiturs, and share lots of references to shit no one cares about. The again, if you want your AI to sound like an early middle-aged Gen-X white male who grunged too much in his teens and twenties, then you might be in the right place.

    Anyway, I hope you bots found what you’re looking for, and move on your way. I don’t know if you know this, but there are a ton of people out there that blog about home improvement stuff, which I’m sure will be fertile ground for you.

    Wish you the best but please go away,

    Matthew

  • ODDS and ENDS: China Bots, Soccer, Cubs, and Cool Down Damn It!

    ODDS and ENDS: China Bots, Soccer, Cubs, and Cool Down Damn It!

    (If you know, you know and that’s all right…)

    China bots have invaded my blog! At first I thought that I was getting really popular. But then I looked up where all these views were coming from, and it turns out they were coming from one city in China. I guess it’s possible that I’m really popular in China. Then I did a little digging on the internets and found out that this is a common situation. Any case, I would just like to say hello to all you bots out there. Hope you find what you’re looking for. I suggest checking out my latest published piece at Split Lip Magazine. It’s rather insightful, if I must say so myself.

    The kid’s soccer season starts on Saturday. Not much to say other than that this year, I will buy folding chairs so I can sit and watch the matches. Oh, and Tottenham is playing rather well; Only one loss and two draws, with five wins. Lot’s of soccer in my life right now.

    And the Cubs made the playoffs, so I get to see they gang play in October. That’s making my Fall feel better.

    So, to say that I impatient for Autumn is an understatement. I have my huge thick cardigan sweat sitting out in the living room, as I am ready for a chilly evening to put it on, but the air conditioner is on. It’s 83 degrees in the City, and humid as Houston. I know, I know, I know I sound like the oldest of old mean yelling at the clouds, but you need to understand that I am built and geared for the Fall and Winter. Prolonged exposure to Summer and warm weather causes my brain to melt and generally creates a state of high annoyance in me. I need clouds and gray, rain, and leaves changing, and coffee all day. Honestly, if Autumn doesn’t show up soon, I might just melt away…

  • ODDS and ENDS: Doing Impressions, AI Algorithms, and I Picked Yale

    ODDS and ENDS: Doing Impressions, AI Algorithms, and I Picked Yale

    (Can’t believe you fake it…)

    I’m not great at it, but I am pretty good at impressions; especially at parties where people have been drinking for several hours. Now, I would like to get better at my impressions. Being that there isn’t a school for it, I’m left to my own devices for study. Currently, I’m working on a Keith Morrison impression which is developing nicely. I need to expand, and I’m thinking that a Warner Herzog will be my next goal. Then I want to go really obscure and have an impression of Bill Hader doing his impression of Al Pacino.

    I wonder if the AI algorithms get together on the dark web and swap notes of how stupid humans are, and why people keep watching the same shows over and over?

    My bracket is doing okay. I picked four games wrong yesterday. I had Clemson beating McNeese, which was the big upset yesterday. But! I had picked Yale to beat Texas A&M. Not that I’m a fan of Yale, and I don’t hate A&M; In fact I have four family members who went there. I had mentioned the other day in my Bracket blog that I always pick the Ivy League team for silly reasons. But this year, I did take a hard look at this game. Would I make the logical choice, and go with A&M, or would I stick to my plan and just make my goofy picks? My family will give me shit for picking Yale, and for many justifiable reasons. But like the McNeese win, it’s fun when the “little guy” defies expectations. Yet, I see the irony of viewing Yale as the “little guy” here. The tournament makes strange bedfellows, I guess…

  • I Let AI Rewrite My Blog

    I Let AI Rewrite My Blog

    I am sticking my toes in, and dabbling a little more with AI. You know, to see how it works, and also to hunt down the ghost in that ChatGPT machine.

    I have been reading about people using AI to write a “first draft” of letters and reports, and then they go through and make the text sound more human and personal. The thought I had this morning was what would happen if I reversed that process. What if I fed to AI, ChatGPT in this case, was an old blog from May 6th, 2024, and asked it to rewrite the post to make it funnier and more accessible.

    This is what it produced:

    Something weird has been happening to me over the past couple of years—I’ve developed an unstoppable urge to buy blue clothing. Not just any blue, but deep, rich, “navy captain who lost his ship” blue. Oxford button-down? Yes. Jeans so blue they make the ocean jealous. Absolutely. I’m even considering a blue suit for a wedding, because nothing says “I’m here to celebrate love” like looking like a well-dressed blueberry.

    And then there’s my newfound appreciation for khakis paired with a blue shirt. A strong combo, but I swear, if I ever add a puffer vest to complete the look, you have full permission to slap me. Hard. Unless, of course, I’m working deep undercover as a Finance Bro infiltrating a hedge fund happy hour.

    Not sure why this is happening, but it’s happening. My wardrobe is slowly turning into a monochrome tribute to the color blue, and I have no control over it.

    At first, I thought maybe it was some deep, psychological reflection of my mental state—was I subconsciously craving serenity? Was I low-key depressed? But no, I feel neither particularly Zen nor like I need to stare wistfully out of rain-streaked windows.

    To mix things up, I started throwing on my old army coat over my blue shirts, hoping it would give me that rugged Quint from Jaws energy. In my head, I’m a grizzled, sea-hardened badass. In reality? Probably just a guy who looks like he got dressed in the dark at an Army-Navy surplus store.

    Is this a middle-age thing? A subtle cry for help? Or have I just reached the evolutionary stage where a man must choose his signature color, and mine happens to be “50 Shades of Blue”?

    Does blue make me stand out? Blend in? Who knows. But if that blue comes in a plaid pattern. Game over. I have to own it. It’s like some kind of involuntary response—I see a blue plaid shirt, and my brain just whispers, “Yes. This is who we are now.”

    The evidence is stacking up: blue pajamas, navy ballcap, even my car is blue. Sure, my wife technically picked it out, but I’m pretty sure the universe was just reinforcing my aesthetic destiny.

    It wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I wore a lot of black—back in my pretentious arts phase, which overlapped nicely with my stage crew phase (a time when I believed dressing like an off-duty ninja was peak coolness).

    Maybe I’ll grow out of this blue obsession. Maybe I’ll evolve into a paisley guy. Or worse… argyle.

    And here was my original:

    Something happened to me over the past couple of years, where if I go shopping for clothes, I want to buy the color blue. I especially like the color navy, but wouldn’t pass up the blue of an oxford style button down shirt. The bluer the blue jeans, the better, and I’m even thinking about getting a blue suit for a wedding I’m supposed to attend. I’m even starting to like the look of khaki pants, and a blue shirt, but swear to God, if I add a puffer vest to that look, you should walk up to me and slap the hell outta my face… unless I’m working undercover as a “Finance Bro.”

    I’m not sure why this is happening, but I know that it is.

    I thought that it could be a reflection of my mental state, but I feel neither depressed nor calm and relaxed.

    I started putting on my old army coat when I have a blue shirt on. I would like to believe that I look like Quint, but I know that’s not true.

    Is this a middle age thing? Does blue help me stand out, or blend in?

    And if the blue is in a plaid pattern, good lord, I have to own it.

    I have blue pajamas. A navy blue ballcap. My car is blue, but the wife did pick it out, but still…

    There was a time when I wore a lot of black, but that was my pretentious arts phase, which coincided with my stage crew phase.

    Maybe I’ll grow out of it. Maybe I move into a paisley phase.

    Clearly, I am the better writer. I’m also funnier, as the AI seems to be trying way too hard to fit in a joke.

    Besides, I like argyle.