Tag: #2020Sucks

  • A Tie is Worth A Point

    I have just about made it to the weekend. This was a pretty crappy week. No doubt about it.

    Still, I sort of keep going back to the hope, the magical thought that me and my family will get vaccinated and that we will be able to go back to the way things were very soon. That idea of returning to the life that we had in March 2020 is very intriguing, and it is now met with a heightened level of nostalgia that is becomes both sad and wildly unrealistic.

    I went back through my journals, and even looked at the picture on my phone to see what life was like in March 2020. For us, it was awful. The wife and I were still without work, and our bills were getting out of control. What little money we did have was drying up, and we started talking about what options we had to stay in our apartment. It was dark, and it was bleak. The only bright spot was that I got hired on the Friday before the whole world shut down on the following Monday.

    I look around our apartment now, as I type on the couch and the kid sits next to me drawing and singing, and things are… not exactly better, but clearly, things are not worse. The wife is employed at a good job that gives all of us insurance. We are starting to dig ourselves out of the financial hole we created. The kid is in school, albeit remote, but she can read and write now. And we are healthy.

    Can that be counted as a win? In the Premier League, a tie still gets you a point.

    I think we won one point then.

  • Thanksgiving

    2020 has been a shit filled dumpster on fire, floating down a river.

    And for my family, we have had a tough three years for that matter. Moves, job loss, pandemic, family tragedy, the 2020 election, but we are still here. We are still planning for tomorrow, still dreaming, still trying to make life better for our kid.

    My Grandma used to tell me, “You gotta have goals. Gotta have something to look forward to.” The wife and I have latched onto that idea; working toward something. Not that we think that everything will go back to normal, or that in three months everything will be better. We just know that we are working toward a better someday, and that’s about as realistic as we can get.

    And in that sense, there have been a few good things. I have spent so much great quality time with my daughter. I am watching her learn how to read, and write her first sentences, and see that spark of learning in her eye. That’s something real, and honest, and wonderful to experience. In this year, I have been able to rekindle my love of writing, and the creative process. Also in this year of insanity, I have watched my wife take on more than she thought she was capable of, and come out on the other end more confidant and successful. I am amazed by her. I feel that we still do make a great team, and I think I love her more than the day I told her I loved her on 14th street in front of Trader Joe’s way back in 2007.

    This was not a great year, but I still have my family who is healthy, my great friends who I miss and can’t wait to see again, and I still have my hope in things getting better.

    Happy Thanksgiving Everybody

  • Post Election: Still Worried

    (Oh, and this is just about as cynical of a post you will find.)

    I was excited on Saturday. Amazingly excited, and we drank champagne and went down the block for the dance party in the street. Ding Dong! The Trump was Dead! His reign was over and sanity was to resume in the world. I did shed tears when I saw Vice-President Elect Harris come out, dressed in Suffragette white. Another barrier broken, and a step closer to a more perfect Union.

    Then Sunday morning came, and I could tell the joy was giving way. We went to visit friends who think along the lines that we do, and though they were happy about the win, they were rather pragmatic about the situation on a whole. 70 million voters still support Trump, they said, and why would they stop supporting him?

    Outside of my family, I am still in contact with one open Trump supporter, and that guy sees the election as rigged, the media is still faked and biased, and he started adding that the 2nd Amendment was created for situations like this.

    Well, crap…

    I’m trying to see the world from inside the other person’s shoes, but I keep feeling like the other side has no intention of returning the favor.

    It makes me think that Trump is filling a deep emotional void that half this nation is desperate to have satisfied. It is a hunger that is satiated by a desire to hurt back. Using logic against that pain yields no fruit, and only exasperates the situation.

    What all of this reminds me of is my last job, and trying to get several different departments to work together for the survival of the company. I tried every tactic and trick I knew, from being the first person willing to compromise, to making myself available to any issue or concern they had, but it never worked. The reason was that they never had any intention to work together, or with me. They just wanted to win more than do the right thing. (And in the end, to stave off bankruptcy, the Board laid off half the staff, and cut 1/3 of the departments. Nobody won, and a bunch of good people got hurt.)

    That is where I feel we are.

  • And Waiting

    I pretty much am only thinking about one issue…

  • Watching, Waiting, Hoping

    Just waiting for the final vote counts to come in.