Tag: #2017

  • A Story of Living in New York

    In the spring of 2017, I don’t know exactly when, but I know it was warm out as you still needed a coat. I left work a little early and was walking down the west side of 6th Avenue, between 15th and 16th street. My intention was to get over to the 14th Street 1,2,3 station, as I needed to get uptown in a hurry, and trains on the Red line get rather stupidly packed at rush hour.

    I was lost in my own thoughts, as the company I worked for was nearing bankruptcy and I had the job to try and stop that from happening. (It didn’t end well, so you know.)  As I tried to puzzle out a solution, I looked down 6th Ave and walking up the street toward me was Fran Lebowitz. She was just walking, dressed how Fran always dresses, and passed me without a glance.

    That’s it, that’s my story.

  • Tales from the Video Store: Guardians (2017 Russian Film)

    If you are not aware, I do love bad movies. And Amazon Prime has become a goldmine for me when it comes to finding new awful films to watch. With their feature “Customers Also Watched” for movies which can lead me down a rabbit hole of amazing horrible bad movies.

    That’s how I got to “Guardians,” a 2017 Russian superhero movie that no one should ever confuse for anything associated with Marvel, or DC for that matter. I had actually thought it was one of The Asylum’s mockbusters, such as a rip off of “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Nope, I got something even more culturally rewarding.

    This “Guardians” is not only a bad superhero movie, but it is a bad Russian superhero movie that bombed in Russia. It’s like an added bonus that it’s disliked in two countries.

    It’s not really an awful idea for a movie. The superheroes are created but the Soviets during the cold war, with the lead scientist going crazy. The scientist blows something up, and everyone goes into hiding. (That’s the not so awful part; the Soviet thing, but I have a feeling the “Black Widow” movie this year will tell a better story… I digress…) Then years pass, the evil scientist returns, and so the superhero band has to be put back together. Stuff blows up, and the end. We got a guy who controls rocks… sure, why not. The super assassin guy, a dude who turns into a bear (Russian after all) and a women who disappears when she gets wet, or touches water.

    Oddly, no one flies, which means they were always dependent on a ride if you think about it.

    Not a very original film, and the worst part, besides some really awful special effects, is the montage of the band getting back together. The Rock guy is the one who goes out to collect everyone. So, each character gets a moment of showing how they have been using their abilities since breaking up. And after they get done demonstrating their abilities, usually meaning something blew up in slow motion, the Rock guy is there, right off camera to have some witty comment, which surprises that other hero.  It’s like no one sees the Rock Guy coming, ever.

    Either way, it’s a terrible/wonderful awful hour and a half of pretty much cliched superhero stuff from the other half of the world. I was left thinking that since this movie is generally hated in its home country, then maybe Americans and Russians are not that different after all.