Category: Writing

  • On Thoughts of Breaking a Plate

    I broke a plate this afternoon. I was putting away the dishes, and I wasn’t paying attention. It slipped out of my hand and crashed onto the floor. The sound of the plate shattering was much louder than I expected. It was almost ear pricing as the sound was in such a high register. The plate broke into a few large pieces, but the majority was made up of tiny shards that went everywhere.

    First, I was angry, as the plate I had broken was one we had received for our wedding, and I don’t think they make them anymore. I started to move to clean it up, but then I stopped.

    I stopped to look at the mess I had made, though by accident; The strange pattern all of the pieces had made. As our kitchen is central in the layout of the apartment, shards had made it to the living room, master bedroom, and even the dining room. The spread was impressive.

    What if I left it? It was a silly question and couldn’t be answered with a, yes, leave it. A child’s bare feet would be home soon. Messes are made to be cleaned up. As are accidents.

    And so, I cleaned the floor. Picked up the large pieces, swept up the tiny ones. Vacuumed the tiles, and then mopped. I would say that it now looked like it never happened, but the clean floors will give away that something happened.

    I was reminded of a question that a history professor posed to us, his class; If there is no evidence of a historical event happening, did it really happen?

  • New Year Admission

    I had taken the past two weeks off to just focus on my family, and especially my kid, over the Holiday Season. With all the changes that have happened to us, I wanted to make sure she felt like she had my complete focus.

    When I did have time for myself, I read. This year for Christmas, my wife got me the novel “Transit” by Rachel Cusk. I have wanted this book for some time and placed it on list of books I would like. In all honesty, I think it was near the bottom of the list, but I was thrilled to receive it as a gift. I read the book in four days; that’s how much I enjoyed.

    But I am not here today to talk about that novel, or my opinion of it.

    I am here to admit that in 2018, I only read two books; “Transit,” and “Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana.” I started reading half a dozen books this past year, but I only completed reading two.

    It’s a little shameful to admit that, but as we enter a new year, I think honesty is of the top order.

    I made this self-discovery as soon as I finished “Transit.” As I closed that volume, I thought about what I should read next… and that’s when I remembered about the box, which I still haven’t unpacked, that contains all the books that were sitting on my old desk I NYC, that I planned on finishing.

    And that’s the key; planned on, but never did. The scary thing is that I think this has been a trend for the past few years.

    As I start this new year, not that I really consider this a resolution, I need to read more than two books.

    Let’s see if I can do three.

  • More FaceBook Thoughts

    I am still thinking about the FaceBook NYTimes article that came out yesterday. What has stuck with me, or what I keep turning over in my head is what protections do we have from corporations when we seem to be living in a time where an individual seems to have less and less power to stand up to them.

    “Seem” is the word I am using as I am not sure if that statement is true. It sure does feel that way, but is that the reality?

    If I try to be objective when it comes to the formation of my opinions, there are two major camps. The first is from my Grandpa Lawrence, who was a union man, a Democrat, and who said that if there wasn’t a check on corporations, then they would run amuck and destroy everyone and everything to make a profit. The other thought camp is my Grandpa Delmore who was the manager of a quarry, was pro-business, believed that individual liberty was key to being an America, and was a Republican.

    These are the two voices that debate in my mind when issues like this come up. Delmore would say that you don’t need FaceBook to live and work, so don’t sign the agreement and you won’t lose any of your data. Lawrence would say that unregulated corporations lead to corruption and destructive behavior.

    In this situation, I see myself siding with Lawrence on this issue, but how do I want government to weigh in on this? If I want to use an internet service, and it is being offered for free, does that mean I have to surrender my personal info to use it? IS there another business model that will work? Or is this just a matter of we have to start paying for what was once free.

  • FaceBook, Same as the Old Boss

    I just read the new article in the NY Times that details how FaceBook put up privacy walls for users, but then turned around and created partnerships with other tech companies and gave them the private data.

    For one, 2018 has been an awful year for FaceBook.

    And for two, why am I still on FaceBook and Instagram?

    There’s lots of ground covered in the article, and Facebook isn’t the only guilty party in this story either, but are any of us really surprised that a corporation was greedy, and put profit over the well-being of their customers? Even lied to their customers, so they could keep making more money, and to make the shareholders happy. (Even Google has stopped using it’s, “Don’t Be Evil,” moto. That can’t be a good sign for a corporation.)

    I’m not naïve enough to believe that there was ever a “good era” for corporations; such as, corporations were acting in the best interest of their customers and society in general. Their job is to make as much money as possible, and I don’t think that will ever change. What I do have a problem with is that there seems to be no repercussion for a corporation when they get caught telling outright lies to their customers and the country. What are you going to do?

    We could sue them?

    Nope, we all signed agreements that allow FaceBook to do this. And even if we wanted to sue them, we couldn’t because we agreed to settle any disputes in arbitration, and not a court.

    Yes, I am seriously thinking about deleting all of my social accounts.

    But is it even possible anymore to go anonymous on the internet?

  • Keep It Together

    I have been trying to stay positive through the move to California, all the changes that it has brought, and the fact that I am way outside of my comfort zone. It has been messin’ with my head.

    The biggest issue that I am having right now is that I haven’t been able to find a job. I have sent out 20+ resumes to prospective jobs in the span of 6 weeks, and I have only landed two interviews. It has made me start second guessing myself, and then on Friday night I started down the spiraling path of self-destructive thinking by beginning to believe that I would never find a job, and that would cause us to default on all of our bills, and that it is only a matter of time before we are homeless…

    And then I read this opinion piece over the weekend, all about rejection.

    It did put a few things in prospective, which I needed, so thank you Emily Winter for writing it.

    I still need to get a job to pay bills, that part hasn’t changed, but it reminded me to start thinking about longer term goals. What are the steps that I need to be taking now? And there is a difference from just “trying” at something, and working hard at it. As Emily said in her piece, “I’m so tired, and that’s how I know I did it right. If I weren’t exhausted, it would mean I’d just spent the last year asking for things without putting in the work to earn them. To me, there’s nothing more off-putting than entitlement.”

    She has a very good point.