Category: Writing

  • Try Again Tomorrow (Unedited)

    I took the dog to the groomer, and that threw off my entire day.

    I mean it was scheduled. In my calendar, so I knew it was coming. The end result, other that the dog having a very nice “puppy cut,” is that I got nothing dome that I wanted to get done.

    Normally I blog in the morning, but I didn’t get around to it until 6pm today. I didn’t do any journaling, and the sketchbook is just a hope at this point – maybe even a wish.

    But the groomer. Walking the dog twenty blocks to drop her off is what really did it. I know lots of people take their dogs on the subway now, and it doesn’t bother me. But I can’t do it. Only because if another dog got in the car, my dog would go apeshit. That and she’s take a dump on the train. (She once took a huge dump while I was in line at an ATM. That was a good day…) So I have to walk her, and I really don’t mind. I do like our neighborhood.

    Also, this is the closest groomer to our apartment, just in case anyone is wondering…

    Which I know no one is…

    That extra forty blocks really took it outta me. Zapped my energy, and the only thing I kept turning over in my mind was that Lauren Boebert was kicked out of a touring performance of the musical of Beetlejuice in Denver because she was being rowdy and using a vape.

    Ahh…

    Try again tomorrow…

  • ODDS and ENDS: Hearing, Tottenham’s Start, and If I Drop 10 Pounds…

    (But that is another story…)

    I can admit that I have a hypochondriac streak. If I feel even slightly off, I assume I’m getting sick. And if I’m sick, then I’m clearly going to die. Recently, a new “symptom” has developed, which may not portend my impending demise; I’m having trouble hearing people. I first noticed this with my kid, though I was skeptical as she does make an art form out of mumbling. But now, when my wife speaks to me from across the apartment, it sounds muffled. Normally, I would blame them, but as I get older, I fear Occam’s Razor is swinging more towards me than not. Yet another body part I need to have checked.

    So… Tottenham Hotspur haven’t lost a match yet. Sure, the toughest game they had was against a weakened United, and their first real test will be against Arsenal on September 24th, BUT until then… I’m going to enjoy the fact that they are undefeated!

    … I can button up this one awesome sports coat I have with leather patches on the elbows.

  • My Rejected “Mentions” Submission

    On August 31st, I had a flash of inspiration, and quickly jotted out the following four sentences:

    “As Donald Trump’s surrender in Georgia grew closer, many on social media started to joke that the former President might need to hire a bail bondsman.

    On the day of the arrest at the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office, to many people’s surprise, the former President had, in fact, secured Foster Bail Bonds, LLC of Lawrenceville, GA to execute the bond.

    This made CEO Charles Shaw the first person in American history to bail out a former President.

    Mr. Shaw, it is easy to say, might be the most famous bail bondsman in America right now, if you excuse Chico’s Bail Bonds support of the Bad News Bears.”

    I thought it was funny.

    But I wasn’t sure what to do with it. The first thought I had was to put it up on my blog, or maybe Twitter/X. Then I remembered that The Drift has a “Mentions” section, which consists of short humorous pieces, four sentences long. I quickly looked up the email address for submissions, and sent it off. Let me throw my luck into the wind and see what will happen! Odds are they would say no, but maybe today would be different.

    And then I reread the “Mentions” section, and it dawned on me that they are looking more for cultural observations, and not so much current events. Yeah… felt like I popped the bed on this one. I even posted a Tweet about it.

    This morning a received a response to my submission, and they did say no. I don’t disagree with that decision, and their form letter to me was rather pleasant for a rejection.

    As such, I now share this “mention” on my blog. If there is anyone out there who would like my four sentence humorous critiques about whatever pops into my head, my going rate is $25 per post, or best offer.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Harry Kane, Goodbye Japan and England, and Bookstores

    (Witty Quip!)

    After three years, and I believe it has been three years, of me saying that Harry Kane will leave Tottenham for another team; it has come to pass. The Athletic is reporting that Kane is going to Bayern Munich. I wish it weren’t true, but it is. And though I would have liked to have seen Tottenham win, I don’t know, several trophies – the odds of that happening in the near future are slim. If Kane wants to be considered in the top tier of international footballers, then he needs to win some hardware, and Bayern makes sense for that reason. In one year, he could win the Bundesliga championship, and the Champions League. Sadly, Tottenham management, looking at you Levy, couldn’t get their act in gear and deliver a manager and additional players to move Spurs into that level, and hence, why Kane left. I don’t blame him. You compete in professional sports to win, and you have to go where your odds are best for that outcome. I guess I will need to start watching Bundesliga now.

    And Japan lost to Sweden! I didn’t see that coming. I started to think that this was Japan’s Cup, and that there wasn’t another team out there that could keep up with them. But the Swedish women aren’t messing around, and I think they might take the whole thing. As for England – they’re done. The two-game suspension on Lauren James’ Red Card against Nigeria is a team killer. She and that team lost their composure, and that is a fall that is hard to recover from. I see Columbia taking full advantage of this situation, seeing how far they can push England. That having been said, since I am always wrong with soccer predictions, I am now calling a Sweden v Australia Final. 100% Guaranteed. Take it to the bank!

    And in the end; I about to head to the local bookstore with the kid. I’m going to get her a book or two. Maybe one for myself as well. It’s late Summer and the clock is ticking until she’s back in school, and then we start the marathon to the end of the year. So, with that in mind, I want to go to a bookstore. And wander the shelves, and let my kid go forth and discover things that she might want to read. My dad used to do this with me when I was her age, and being lost in a bookstore does somehow slow down time. Nothing happens quickly there, as discovery arrives on its own schedule.

  • ODDS and ENDS: UNION!, American Folklore, and Ice Cream

    (Casey Jones you better watch your speed!)

    Oh, shit! The actors joined the strike! Yup, SAG-AFTRA is on the picket line with the WGA, and now no one gets pretty new movies and shows this Fall! I hope you’re happy Studios! Both sides will make their case over the next few weeks, seeing who can build up the bigger public support, and then the real negotiations will begin. The truth of the matter is that the delivery of entertainment has changed. The traditional way for studios to earn income (movie theatres, cable, and ad tv) has declined and streaming hasn’t closed the gap, though that’s how everyone wants to get their entertainment. But I will also point out there are only five media corporations in the US, and it’s been that way for a very long time, so if they aren’t making money, that’s on them. It’s not like there is a ton competition out in the market. Media is an oligopoly so they are in control for how it all works. The studios could solve this tomorrow; stop paying your C-Suite hundreds of millions of dollars. Sorry, but CEO’s can only have two mansions, one Learjet, and one yacht from here on out. We all will have to make sacrifices to survive.

    And when was the last time you thought about American Folklore? Like, Casey Jones, Paul Bunyan, and John Henry. They don’t teach that stuff in school anymore. I asked my daughter about it, and she has no idea what I was talking about. I can’t prove this, but I have this weird feeling that schools were teaching American Folklore as a form of propaganda, to get us kids to believe that there was a mythology to American development and enguiniety, instead of teaching us that our past was a whole lot more about exploitation and exclusion. I can’t prove it, but these people who pushed the Folklore might have been the same people that killed teaching us kids the metric system.

    Ice cream really is the best. Doesn’t matter the season, ice cream is perfect.