Here is the episode of the podcast Mommy Has Questions that I was interviewed on. It was a fun conversation about stay at home parenting, male roles in the family, and the couple of other things. I had great time, enjoyed the discussion, and the whole Mommy Has Questions team made me feel comfortable and right at home. So thank you for having me.
Please, give it a listen – follow, subscribe, leave a comment. You know the drill.
When I moved to New York City nineteen years ago, with the help of a friend, I got a job working at a theatrical rehearsal studio. It wasn’t a bad job; helped me get a financial foothold in the City. Made some pretty good friends while doing it, as well. But the most interesting aspect of that job was always having this “deja vu” feeling while watching tv, especially when seeing commercials.
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Working at a rehearsal studio meant that I was in contact with hundreds if not thousands of actors. Not only were actors coming in and out for rehearsals, but lots of castings were held in the studios; plays, musicals, tv shows, reality tv shows, movies, and tons upon tons of tv commercials.
On the whole, actors are a pretty out going and friendly group. Some can be strange, and others can be “chip on the shoulder assholes” but by and large, good people. Chatty people, too. Everyone had a story to tell, or a show that they were in that they wanted you to come and see. Hell, I would try to talk them in to seeing one of my puppet shows, and they would try to get me to go to their staged reading – it’s how the industry works. And it was fun talking to people.
Then I would go home, turn the tv on to watch something, and there in the Raymore & Flannagan commercial was the guy who was telling be about the reading he was in. Or I would see the woman who was at the second call back for a new musical playing a dead body on Law and Order. Or, I would see a TD Bank ad and wonder to myself, “Don’t I know that guy at the teller widow?” Or “Isn’t that the gal who was warming up in the hallway today in the Jeep commercial?”
Then a couple of days or weeks would go by, and that actor would walk into the studio for an audition or rehearsal, and my mind would trigger back to that commercial, and I’d say to them, “Saw in that Ben and Jerry’s ad.”
Other times, I wouldn’t see them again to tell them good job, because they started to work their way up the ladder. Slowly, ad after ad, no lines, then one line. Then featured in an ad, then a background character for some show. Then an under five, leading to a featured role.
Still to this day, when I’m watching a show or a movie, I’ll still get this feeling when an actors comes on in a small role, that I met them before, a long time ago. I can never prove it, but I do wonder.
I know how to get most stains out of clothes.
I made this really great Japanese soup for lunch today.
That Document is my second favorite R.E.M. album.
That years of doing theatre and puppeteering has messed up both my knees to the point that arthritis is setting in.
That most of the hair on my head is gray now.
That I am a cat person, though I do love my dog.
I have a weakness for chocolate.
That I left the ice cream on the counter last night, fell asleep on the couch, and it all melted.
I drink two cups of coffee a day, and sometimes three if I’m working on a project.
I have no memories of the town I was born in.
I find long, think ear hair really, really gross.
That I think the word “grody” should be used more often.
I no longer think the band 311 sucks.
I was in a movie, it was terrible, and I will not tell you the title.
When I was in college, I changed my major seven times.
If I focus hard, and I can still smell the perfume my first girlfriend used to wear.
I watched one episode of “Cop Rock” when it was originally on tv.
The only bones I have broken are my right pinky toe and finger.
I like riding on the Long Island Rail Road.
The kid started middle school. There has been a great deal of upheaval and change in our little apartment, not to mention the world. I am happy that the kid is growing up, and she is very excited about staring middle school, and leaving elementary behind. For her, she likes a challenge, and going new places and meeting new people, and middle school is that. Her only complaint has been that she wants to get at the learning and new classes, and the first day is just dull; learning the rules, and where things are.
I will tip my cap to my kid; she is so much braver that I was at her age.
I was terrified to go to middle school. Everything that everyone had told me was that the 9th graders ate the seventh graders alive. There was nothing in middle school I was looking forward to. It was all awkward and mean and rough, and embarrassing, and every school nightmare I ever had wrapped up into one.
The funny thing was that the night before middle school started, my kid had trouble sleeping. She had butterflies in her stomach. Though she was excited about starting middle school, there was still a little nervousness to it. As I was talking to her, trying to help her relax and sleep, she asked me if middle school will be the worst time of her life, because me and her mother had told her some stories of how difficult it was. That and she’s seen enough tween TV and movies that have also painted middle school as a grinder box crucible of adolescence.
I was prepared to attempt to paint the rosiest of pictures for her that it was this fun place, and only a few bad things happened to me, but that would have been a lie. And then it struck me; there was a silver lining. I told her that middle school was where I discovered theatre and performing. It was the place that where I first started reading great books, books that open your mind, and help you start to see the world in new and fresh ways. But most importantly, middle school was where I made some of the first truly great friends of my life. People I bonded with over books and movies and music. People I that are still in my life today, who I can’t fathom not being intertwined with to this day. I told her that middle school was the start of the process that made me the adult who I am today. The person I am proud to be.
Don’t know if it did the trick, but she eventually got to sleep.
And maybe I’m getting old and looking for silver linings in awful memories, or maybe those sharp edges and rounding off as the years go by.
Nope. Middle school was the worst. I just had the best friends imaginable, which is how I survived.
I never gave Ben Folds Five anytime of day. I did have a girlfriend in college that loved the shit out of them, and being that she was dating me, I just assumed she had a thing for nerdy quirky guys.
Then, like six or seven years ago when I was on a puppet show tour, all of us puppeteers were at the hotel bar talking about music, and what do we consider to be our personal theme song? You know, that song that when you hear it, either speaks to you, or defines who you are. And one of the puppeteers, named Kate, said that “Kate” by Ben Folds Five, was her song. And icing on the cake was that the song sort’a did sound like it was describing puppeteer Kate. So, when I hear “Kate” it makes me think of Kate, and I miss Kate. She’s pretty cool.
