Category: Parenting

  • Screw It! Snow Day!

    Funny thing, snow days. I wrote yesterday about how NYC schools would stay open online, even though the buildings were closed, and in effect; no more snow days. And that is what happened today.

    But… We tried to have a snow day anyway. We went out and ran around in the snow twice today. Oh, we made snow angels, tried to have a snowball fight and to make a snowman, but the snow wasn’t the right type. Not the big fluffy flakes that pack together well. It was fine, skiing snow, in my opinion. We had fun; the kid made a friend while running through snow drifts, and we ended up at home, wrapped in blankets, and having hot chocolate. You know, snow day!

    I remember my first snow day. I was about my daughter’s age. My mother woke me up for school, as normal, but on this day, she took me to the back patio sliding glassdoor, which had it’s vertical blinds drawn. Then with a nod, my mother pulled the shades open to show me that our square suburban backyard was covered in an amazing, for Texas, two inches of snow! I remember making the tiniest of snowmen, and just playing, and running around to hear the crunch of snow under my boots.

    It’s nice to know that snow is still magical to kids who don’t get to see it very often. I grew up down south, I’m 44 years old, and I still get super excited when the weather says snow is on the way.

  • The End of Snow Days

    I don’t know if you have heard, but a Nor’easter is headed for the northeast today. If it holds true, then NYC will get hit with 5-10” of snow over the next 12 hours, and New England could get over a foot. Yup, here comes winter.

    My daughter is super excited! She hasn’t seen snow in over two years, and has been asking me if we can build a snowman when the storm hits. We bought new gloves over the weekend, the good kind that are made from Gor-tek that won’t get wet, and are best for throwing snowballs.

    With all of this snow, and the possibility that it just might be enough to shut the City down for a day, there still won’t be a snow day for the schools. With all the kids in NYC remote learning now, school will always be in session. No more checking the news in the morning, watching the scrawl at the bottom of the screen, seeing if your district has been closed. No more playing in snow all day. Now, she will have to wait for the last video meeting of the day, and THEN she will get to go out and play. No more days off.

    Yet again, we are entering a new world thanks to Covid.

  • My Mother’s Birthday

    Today would have been my mother’s 74th birthday. This is the third of her birthdays that has arrived without her presence. The first was the worse, and last year wasn’t much better. And this year is 2020, so it’s just as awful as it could be.

    My mother’s death is wrapped around me, not tightly, but it is all over me. It is a blanket of sadness. There are moments when I get choked up, and I still cry occasionally about her death, button the whole, I can speak about it open, and honestly. I speak most often with my daughter about it. This was her first experience of death, and she does miss her grandmother. Talking does help, and talking about memories I have of my mother to my daughter, does make thing easier.

    But it is a sadness. A feeling that I could be happier, but that I just won’t ever be that happy again. I find joy and happiness with my family, and friends, and then at the end of the night, as I drift off, or hope to drift off to sleep, there is that little honest moment that I am reminded that I can’t talk to her.

    I also know that her death has put me in a depression, one that is with me, and will be with me for some time to come. I know it because the things that I used to enjoy before her death, just don’t bring me that joy anymore. I know the signs of depression. I have dealt with it many times before, and I have always come out on the other side, and better for it. I know that this will happen again, because I want to be in a good place again, and I also have great people in my life that I can lean on.

    Still, I do miss my mom.

  • Oops… No Writing Yesterday

    I didn’t meet my goal yesterday, which was writing. I was able to journal, but I didn’t complete a blog, nor did I work on any fiction.

    But I spent a huge amount of time with my kid. We made chicken stock in the morning, and read books together in the afternoon. We were able to go to the playground, and draw pictures together while drinking hot chocolate. In the evening, we made dinner, and watched “Star Wars.” It was a very fulfilling day.

    Being locked at home al the time, I get in my head that I should be making huge strides, and racking up enormous word counts daily. And maybe I should if I want to have a career.

    But I don’t want to miss this time with my daughter. I mean, I’m teaching her to read. Helping her sound out words and become confident with her ability to learn. It really is a gift to be with her at this time, and to learn how learning works.

  • Struggling to Get By

    I am tired. I haven’t been sleeping well. Trump’s refusal to concede the election, though I knew it would happen, isn’t helping either. I am also getting burned out of the routine that we are in, and I’m afraid of the possible 2nd/3rd wave of Covid that is coming.

    It really is like 2020 refuses to die.

    I am fortunate that I have my wife, as we are leaning on each other for support. We both find ourselves just getting by. In the sense that we can get the bare minimum out, but really can’t seem to muscle anything additional. Such as our Algot shelf project still hasn’t been completed yet. We are close, but still not there.

    The other thing that has been heavy on my mind is that it looks like September 2021 might be the earliest that we can get back to “normal.” If there is a safe and effective vaccine ready for next year, then we are looking at April or May until we can take it. That’s pretty much at the end of the school year. To me that says the kid won’t be back in a class until September. That means we will have a Summer together, and Fall will be the time, hopefully, that I’ll be able to get out there and find a job.

    And that feels like a million years away.

    Another million years of just barely getting by to hope that we get an opportunity to better our situation. Feels like we better have some good luck on our side.