Category: Parenting

  • A Tie is Worth A Point

    I have just about made it to the weekend. This was a pretty crappy week. No doubt about it.

    Still, I sort of keep going back to the hope, the magical thought that me and my family will get vaccinated and that we will be able to go back to the way things were very soon. That idea of returning to the life that we had in March 2020 is very intriguing, and it is now met with a heightened level of nostalgia that is becomes both sad and wildly unrealistic.

    I went back through my journals, and even looked at the picture on my phone to see what life was like in March 2020. For us, it was awful. The wife and I were still without work, and our bills were getting out of control. What little money we did have was drying up, and we started talking about what options we had to stay in our apartment. It was dark, and it was bleak. The only bright spot was that I got hired on the Friday before the whole world shut down on the following Monday.

    I look around our apartment now, as I type on the couch and the kid sits next to me drawing and singing, and things are… not exactly better, but clearly, things are not worse. The wife is employed at a good job that gives all of us insurance. We are starting to dig ourselves out of the financial hole we created. The kid is in school, albeit remote, but she can read and write now. And we are healthy.

    Can that be counted as a win? In the Premier League, a tie still gets you a point.

    I think we won one point then.

  • Still Dealing with the Capital Riot

    I can’t seem to get my head in the game today. The kid’s schooling is going fine, and the wife is off and working.

    Me? I feel like there is this looming storm outside that is about to hit.

    Yes, this is a day of Covid fatigue, but also everything that has happened at The Capital, Trump, Biden, and all the other shit involved with it.

    I thought I was linked to the news before, but now, it’s like I can’t go five minutes to see if there was an update. It’s sickening. I feel like I am in a knot. This weekend was a loss for me, as I didn’t accomplish anything, just dealing with the anxiety of the moment.

    What I feel like is right after 9/11. Such as everything had changed, but at the same time, everyone was trying to go about their normal routines. Now, it seems even stranger as nothing was normal before 1/6, and today everything feels even weirder. The mere fact that people can’t even agree if the attack and its repercussion are worth dealing with. One side is, “Let’s Deal with This!” while to other is “Move on and heal.” The answer is both, but I don’t see that happening.

    The kid has asked a few questions about it, and I know she is trying to figure out what happened, and whether she should have an opinion. Clearly, the wife and I are very angry at Trump and want him removed immediately. But when I hear my kid parrots the same sentiment, that makes me uncomfortable. I know she can’t grasp all the details other than bad guys broke into an important building, so I feel like she should say those things. Yet, bad guys did break into an important building, and if we don’t stand up and defend this country from those bad guys, then what future am I leaving for my daughter.

    We have to show my kid how Americans deal with a situation like this. Protest peacefully. Vote. Get involved. Call and write your representatives on the local, state and federal level. Stay open minded and curious. Fight the fiery emotion of hate, with the cool logic of reason. And remember, always, that all Americans have a place at the table of Democracy.

  • Learning to Read and Write

    I am not a fan of remote schooling, but I don’t know anyone who is. It is something that we are all putting up with. I have said this before, and that is that the remote teacher my daughter has is great. She is patient, and calm and very nurturing to all the kids. My daughter looks forward to seeing her teacher, and draws pictures for her. For this crappy situation, I feel very fortunate that she is our teacher.

    I am also aware of the short coming of remote learning. Mainly, it is difficult to consistently reinforce lessons in these spurts of learning. Even with parental support, which I know all of us parents do for the class, it is not reaping the same results as compared to the kids being in a classroom together.

    But there is one very wonderful thing that I do get to take part in; I get to help my kid learn to read and write. (The kid is an ace with math, which she totally gets from her mother.) I have made flashcards to go over sight words with her, and its fun watching her begin to recognize those sight words in the real world.

    “Hey, Dad! I can read that!” is a new fun phrase she likes to share with me. She is just beginning to unlock the world around her, and that feeling of the discovery beams off of her.

    And at the end of the day, the kid will sit in my lap and read one of her books to me. Slowly, sounding out words, connecting the thoughts in the words, and watching her confidence grow as the words are no longer a difficulty to her.

    With reading the books, she is now wanting to write her own books. We have bought her several notebooks to draw in, but now she wants to put words with her drawings. She labors over her desk, drawing images, and scenes for her stories. Then she starts the process of finding the right words to describe her pictures.

    It is pretty special that I get to play a part in my kid learning the basic building blocks of her education.

  • Morning Parenting: Creativity

    I played the Bee Gees for my daughter this morning as we were drawing together. I put on a play list while we were drawing together, and “Stayin’ Alive” came on. The kid told me that she liked that song, so I put on a few other Bee Gee songs; the big hits mainly, and she thought all of them were “really fun.”

    What this has now created in the kid is that she wants to “drum” on her desk and not pay attention to her remote class meeting. I can’t really blame her too much. The remote classes can be a little dull for her, especially when her teacher tries to get the kids to work on their writing. I mean, without everyone being in the same room, working together, it can be a disjointed mess. (I give her teacher so much credit for being patient and supportive with all of the kids.) And in that chaos, my kid likes to drum on her desk, or sing songs she makes up.

    And that is the rub for me as a parent; I need to kid to learn how to write, and at the same time, I don’t want to discourage her creativity. This is why we have started drawing together in the morning between classes. Not only is it something that we can do together creatively, but it is also is a chance for us to talk about things. I want her to be able to express herself clearly and confidently.

  • Making a Sauce

    I think I was like most people, in that I had dabbled in cooking. Before Covid, I had a few solid dishes that I knew I could make which would come out great, and then the rest of the time, I was serviceable in the kitchen. Let’s just say, I never cut off a finger.

    Now that we are in the land of Covid, I like most people, started spending more time in the kitchen; cooking, planning and prepping meals. I didn’t get all bread crazy, but I started taking a more active role in helping out with food. When it became clear that I was going to be a stay at home parent for the foreseeable future, I started taking cooking and food prep more seriously.

    My friend, Erin, writes a really great food blog, BIG SIS LITTLE DISH, which I visit for ideas and to get inspiration. It also helps that my wife is a trained chef, and spent several years working in professional kitchens around NYC. If I am in the middle of a recipe and get lost, I can call on the wife to help me out.

    I have been at it for six months now, and last night, I needed to make a gravy to go with dinner. I took 3 tablespoons of butter, and melted it in a pan. Then I added an equal part of flour to the melted butter, and stirred the mixture with a wooden spoons. When the rue was a good color, I whisked in a cup of homemade chicken stock, a little at a time. Once the stock was incorporated with the rue, I whisked in salt, pepper, and dried thyme. The last part I added was about a quarter cup of cream, stirred it in, and lowered the temperature to a simmer so the gravy would thicken up.

    I made this gravy all from memory with ingredients that I now always have on hand. I had a deep feeling of satisfaction that I could just “whip this up,” and make a sauce that would complete a meal. I had unlocked a new life skill, and I guess I realized the wholesome fulfillment of being able to provide a good meal for my family.