Category: Parenting

  • Playing with Dolls

    So, we are doing the remote school thing for my daughter. It is not idea in anyway, but we are making the best out of it, and we do have a really good teacher we all like.

    Today, we ended up have a long break between video classes, and the kid wanted us to play something together. Let’s play with my Barbies, was what my daughter suggested, and ever since she turned five, this has been a common request. I am happy to oblige in the make believe. I mean, I’ve played spaceship, pirates, and she has endulged me with making a few puppet shows. All of this to me falls under the respobilities of being a father.

    As we were playing with my daughter’s dolls, a memory shot back into my mind that I had completely forgotten about. I remembered being about eight years old, riding my bike through the neighborhood with some other friends on a random day after school, and my friend Kevin told me that this one kid who lives up the street, this kid plays with Barbies. I remembered the shock and feeling embarrassed for this boy. That this boy had crossed some social line, and it must be a huge secret this boy was trying to hide. That this kid had some huge burden on him. But I don’t remember anyone ever bring it up to this kid. It was just a known secret.

    I don’t remember when boys playing with dolls stopped being a big deal. I know in high school it wasn’t an issue anymore, as the group I hung with were all outcasts, artists, and theatre people, and being different was celebrated, and valued. I think nowadays, people would be shocked if a parent took dolls away from their son who wanted to play with them.

    Maybe, there has been some progress against toxic masculinity.

  • What Have I Learned This Week?

    This has been a very political week for me, blog wise. I woke up this morning with the intention of not writing about anything political, and then I saw that Trump and the First Lady have tested positive for Covid.

    Proving that 2020 is the year when anything and everything will happen.

    But as it is Friday, maybe some self-reflection is needed.

    What have I learned this week?

    First, school teachers do not get the credit and pay that they deserve. I have said that many times before, but two weeks of home school/video chat has proved that to me, in a very crystal clear manner. I will commit now, and for the rest of my life, to ensure that teachers get the respect, pay and resources they need and deserve to do their jobs.

    Second, if doing the home school thing is my lot for the next eight months, then I have to come to terms that I will only have about an hour a day to write during the school week. And if I want more time, that will have to occur on nights and weekend. Just a fact.

    Third, as we enter October, I also have to come to terms that I will not being able to relax until the year 2020 is over. I thought 2016 was bad (except for the Cubs winning the World Series) and 2018 wasn’t a good year either. But, 2020 just won’t let up. The anxiety I have every day is relentless, and I don’t think I will be able to relax until the election is over, and a vaccine is out. I know there are a million other issues that 2020 has brought us, but I need those two things to happen.

    Here is to trying to have a good weekend…

  • The Algot Saga Continues

    To recap what is going on in my life; our daughter will be doing remote learning, and as such, we have made a corner in the living room to be her “school” area. We were planning on using the Algot series of shelves to complete this area, as that was what we had been using in our living room.

    But no, Ikea thought it best to stop making these shelves and not tell anyone.

    In the NYC area, we bought up what we could and have been trying to make something usable out of it. What we are left with is a mix match/mish-mash of braces, brackets and shelves that just can’t work together to give us a desk for the kid, storage for school supplies, and a place for books. We have been trying for months now, and nothing works.

    We gave up, and bought a wood wall mounted flip down desk, which looks awesome and the kid loves. We are hanging art in the corner, with the hopes that one day we will come up with something to do there.

    But we have all of this Algot stuff. There is nothing wrong with it, and could work in another space, if we ever get another space. It’s just here, mocking us in our futility to add pieces to make something else.

    Modular solution, my ass.

  • Learning to Write

    So, day two of full online kindergarten classes didn’t go any better today as compared to yesterday. In fact it was a little worse.

    Our online teacher is making the best of a bad situation, and she is dedicated to the students and, as far as I have seen in the past five days, she is taking all of the kid’s mental well being very seriously. It has been a morning video chat, and then an assignment asking the kids to draw themselves. Then we had a second video chat about emotions and expressing how we feel. A lunch break with another assignment to watch a video of a person reading a book and asking the kids to draw their favorite part of the story. On the final chat of the day, the teacher wanted all the kids to show their drawing to the class, and then try writing a word or a sentence that can describe the picture each drew. The teacher was very clear that each kid should try writing a sentences, or word, or even a squiggle. She was clearly trying to see where each of the kids was at when it comes to writing words, language, and phonic sounds. That’s when we came off the wheels at our house.

    My daughter got very nervouse, then really embarassed that she couldn’t write out a sentence. Since we were down to the last 15 minutes of the day, and I could see that this was making her very upset, that I sent a text to the teacher that we had to leave, and I shut off the chat.

    This had been building all day.

    This is a big change for all of us, and making sure all the kids know and learn how to express themselves is very important, and our teacher is doing a very good job with that. My kid-o had a very clear expectation in her mind that as a kindergartener she thought that she would be learning, everyday. And with five days of drawing pictures, she was getting confused as to why she wasn’t learning. She kept saying that to me all day, “I want to learn. When will we learn?” Then when she was asked to do something, she ran right into the wall of not knowing how to do it.

    This is my fault, and I know it.

    I spent all Summer with her working on teaching her how to read. We worked throguh two different series of first reader books, and she is picking out words she recognizes in other books, newspapers, and even on tv. But as I learned today, learning to read is not the same as learning to write.

    We spent the next hour working on letters, and writing simple words, and just trying to make her feel confident in learning about writing.

    I’ve got a lot of learning to do myself.

  • Time to Write? What Was I Thinking?

    Oh, silly me. I thought that once school started, even with doing remote classes from home, that I would be able to get things accomplished. Yesterday just kicked my ass, and today was no better. And we haven’t even started the full day schedule yet.

    What I expected was that I would be able to get two hours to write, but it is looking more and more that I’m only going to get a hour during the day. This means that I will need to make some tough choices.

    I can’t do it all, but I have to find a way to do most of it.

    Now, I need to start prepping dinner…