Category: Parenting

  • The Kid’s First Time Being Homesick

    Our daughter has been visiting friends for the past few days. She has been looking forward to this trip for months! She was getting to travel, be in a house that had a pool, hang out with other kids all day, and have a summer adventure.

    When we dropped off the kid, she couldn’t have given two craps that we were leaving. She was excited and laughing, and wanted to be away from us. There was a little sting with her being so blasé with our exit, but on a more important level, I was happy that she wasn’t having any separation issues. We FaceTimed each night, and she was bubbling over telling us all about the fun she was having, but the call always ended with her telling us that she loved us and missed us.

    Last night on our call, the kid was talking all about the fun they had, and then she got quite, and started to silently sob little tears. Oh, our hearts just broke. “I want to see you, here,” she cried, “I miss you.” We tried to console her, letting her know that we would all be together soon, and how much we loved her.

    This is also normal. This is the longest we have all been apart, and it’s especially hard on her. I also feel very helpless as all can do is try and comfort her through a computer screen. When what we all want is a big long silly hug.

    I remember that feeling of being away from your parents and never really knowing when you will see them again. When I was her age, I remember being upset, and my aunt called my mother so I could talk to her on the phone. My Ma would calm me down and tell me that she loved me and that we would all be together again, very soon. And it would help. But that lonely missing feeling never really went away in me; it was in the back of my head making butterflies in my stomach.

    I do hope my little girl is having fun today, and not missing us too bad. Though I expect that the next hug I get from her will be pretty tight and a little long.

  • Managing Expectations

    I sure have heard this phrase a lot over the past several years. In the arts and business world, and normally, when it is brought up, it is because two parties believe in different outcomes to specific actions. I will go a step further and say that it also is a sign that one party is not sharing their expectations with the other party, so they can be “outraged” at the other party when the results are not satisfactory, and thus stop working with that other party. (Can you tell I have been burned by this situation more than once…)

    It’s a loaded phrase, like “We need to talk.”

    Nothing good follows. Normally.

    And I used the “managing expectations” phrase last night when I was out to dinner with my wife. Now that we have a tiny, smidge of stability on the horizon, what do when envision?

    The answer was two different ideas.

    Now, we were out to dinner, which we haven’t done in over a year, and we had several drinks in us, so we both know each other well enough to not hold the other one to anything that was said.

    It was about the timeline of me returning to work; when, doing what, and how much should I bring in? We aren’t too far off, but it was different. And that’s okay. I think being able to talk about it really is the most important part, and listening to what the other person is saying.

    What we both heard was that we need to make sure the kid is okay. Whatever the details are, it all leads to the same destination; how do we build a home and family, that meets our physical and mental needs, as well as our daughter’s.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Summer Day Camp’s Last Day, Vacations, Tottenham Anxiety

    “Odds and Ends” is my continuing series of random thoughts and follow ups…

    Today is the final day of the kid’s Summer Day Camp, and it went wonderfully well. I think the wife and I over did it asking the kid if she wants to go back next year. The answer is yes, and hopefully, we can give her a month there, instead of two weeks. The other thing that made me happy about the camp is that our daughter had no qualms about being away from us for 6 hours, and in fact, wanted it to be longer. To me that says she is in a healthy place with being away from her parents; She wants to separate and have her own experiences, like a normal kid.

    Now we start the stretch of vacations. Yes, that is means more than one this Summer. We were lucky if we got away for one vacation a year in the past. And most of the time a “vacation” was just leaving home for a few days, and could also mean visiting family, which sometimes can be the opposite of relaxing. For us to go someplace and actually relax and not doing anything has been rare. This summer, we’re getting two trips. I feel very spoiled in saying that, even a little self-conscious. I know this is due to Covid and being trapped home for the past 15 months, but wow! I really want to get the hell out of this apartment for a couple of days.

    So… Tottenham is a bit of a shit show right now. Have they even picked a manager yet? Is it Nuno? And Harry Kane rumors are all over the place, but Tottenham has him on contract for one more year, and I still hold that Kane made that, “I want to be on a teams that wins championships” statement to get management to do something, like build a team, or keep the talent they have (like Son) and solve that defense issue they have in the last ten minutes of every match! Friendly matches start up next week, so I hope to see some changes myself.

  • The Summer Day Camp Saga Concludes

    Today was the big day. It was the first day of Summer Day Camp for our daughter. After everything we went through last week, I was pretty nervous that it might all get derailed. But it worked out; Forms were sent, approval given, protocol followed.

    Yesterday, the wife took the kid out to get a new bathing suit for camp, as her current one is getting a little small. We hit the drug store for sun screen and other camp goodies. The kid picked out her clothes for this morning, and we all help pack her backpack last night before bed. I even got a surprise joy from making the kid’s lunch last night.

    This morning, it all went like clockwork. We all got up on time, without a complaint. Ate breakfast, brushed teeth, and were out the door like we planned. It was a fun walk this morning, just me and the kid, talking about what might be in-store at the camp; Would there be a water slide? New friends? Art classes? Building a robot.

    As we got closer to the camp, other kids began to coalesce around the entrance gate. I could feel the excitement in my daughter build. As we stepped onto the grounds, she asked me, “Can I go make friends?” That was the point, I thought, but I just said, “Yes.” Off she went to introduce herself to two girls.

    I checked my kid in with the councilors, and soon a gaggle of eight 1st Graders were all talking to each other, waiting for the camp to begin. The councilor went over to the kids, took attendance, and started to lead the kids inside for the day camp. My little one looked over her shoulder at me, gave me a quick, little wave, and was off with the rest of the group.

    And it was done. She was back with kids again. After a year and a half, she was with kids her own age, doing and talking to kids about kid things, all away from their parents.

    It honestly felt like we would never get back to something like this.

  • Summer Day Camp Anxiety Continues!

    Okay, it’s feeling like two steps forward and one step back over here.

    I was informed yesterday that the kid was lacking two vaccines which she needs to be cleared for camp. I called our pediatrician’s office, and was able to get an appointment today for the kid to get the vaccines. That all went according to plan.

    We made it to the doctor’s office, got in right away, the nurse was awesome and gave the shot to the kid without any panic or tears. All good.

    Now, to verify that the kid has received the shots, I just need a vaccination form signed by the kid’s doc for verification… which will take three business days… And Monday’s a holiday. And the camp starts on Tuesday, 9am.

    Ung…

    I was given the, “we’ll do our best to rush it.” The is no reason for me not to trust the staff at the pediatrician’s office. They have been great with everything we have ever needed in the past six years. I need to trust them.

    And I have been in work situations before where the most honest answer I could give was, “I will do my best.” Most of the time, I still got yelled at by the client, so I don’t want to be the guy who browbeats his way into getting what he wants.

    Sure, worst case here is that she misses the first day of camp… But, I don’t want to disappoint my kid.