Category: Parenting

  • What Solves All the Problems?

    The kid was mad as hell at me yesterday. The reason for her anger was that I wouldn’t allow her to take a toy to school. She had been told over the weekend that she couldn’t do it, but when Monday morning rolled around, she tried again, only to get the same result from her parents; no.

    And she was so angry. She wouldn’t hold my hand crossing the street and she wouldn’t talk to me as we walked to school. I know she wanted to say something to me, to make me feel bad, but I want to say that she knew if she said something mean, it would only make the situation worse.

    I could be wrong.

    When I picked her up from school, she was a little happy to see me. She smiled when she saw me walking up, and then, as if she reminded herself that she was mad at me, she dropped her smile and gave a very dramatic frown. I asked how her day was, and she said it was just okay, that nothing happened. I took her to the local playground so she could run around for a bit, and maybe being with her friends would put her in a better mood. Not so much.

    When we got home she disappeared in her room, and when she emerged for dinner, she seemed a still had the frown. She was clearly hungry as she cleaned her plate, and in our house, a clean plate means you get a little treat. We had bought ice cream over the weekend due to the heatwave, so it seem appropriate that she could have a little ice cream.

    And that was the magic that broke the spell. A little cookies and cream retuned our silly talkative kid to us. Yes, again, ice cream comes to the rescue and solves all the problems. It really does when it comes to kids. I am sure that there is something to be said that you shouldn’t teach kids to equate happiness with food, or something like that, but damn, ice cream always seems to work when you want to put someone in a better mood. I know it works for me. If life sucks, just eat some ice cream.

    There is no deep message here, or a revolutionary revelation. Just… eat more ice cream.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Museum of Natural History, Alice Walker’s Journals, Dallas Mavericks, and Jazz Samba

    (Stay Fresh, Cheese Bags!)

    It’s Earth Day! AND the kid is on Spring Break! So, we’re going to the Museum of Natural History today! This is low hanging fruit when it comes to doing something with the kid that she will enjoy for several hours. For most of my friends with kids, the zoo is their “go-to” place to occupy some time, but my kid never has really enjoyed going to a zoo. Now, a petting zoo, or looking at baby animals, she will go crazy over that. But your normal, run of the mill zoo; nope, my daughter ain’t having it. What she wants is a display case with rocks in it. Maybe a diorama from the 1920’s. Give us a squid and a whale!

    Yesterday, I read a piece in The New Yorker about a book of Alice Walker’s journals. I was interested because I think Walker is a great writer who I look up to, and being that I journal, I am curious what her journals are like. Two things I took away from the article are that Walker at one point thought she should smoke “less weed,” and her preoccupation with money. I admit that I haven’t read this book and am only going off what was in the article, but these two points, weed and money, humanized Alice Walker for me, and made me respect her more. The weed statement means that she feels like she should be getting high less, and doing other things, and I infer that means writing. Even someone like Alice Walker thinks she should be working harder. And there is money. It’s not surprising that Walker was thinking about money issues before she was “ALICE WALKER” and was just another writer trying to make it. Yet, to see it in her journals just proves that finances were taking up a large part of her thought process, and needed to be expressed. Yes, she was trying out new ideas that would become great stories, but she was also trying to figure out how to pay rent and eat.

    I have been enjoying watching the Dallas Mavericks vs the Utah Jazz in the NBA Playoffs. Especially, I have enjoyed the Dallas bench playing some clutch basketball.

    Today’s album that I am listening to is “Jazz Samba” by Stan Getz and Charlie Byrd.

  • SLEEP! In Heavenly Peace!

    I watched a disc golf tournament last night on YouTube. I found it fascinating that there are people out there that can throw a disc 300 yards, and sometimes in a straight line. It was pretty cool, as I don’t think I would have watched a disc golf tournament if it hadn’t been the fifth night in a row when I couldn’t sleep.

    I know you are not supposed to say this, but it’s my kid’s fault. This week is her Spring Break, and she is refusing to go to bed. Even when she does go to sleep, she finds a way to wake up, and then proceeds to wake me up as well, to inform me that she cannot sleep. I’m trying to be cool about it, and level headed, but it is really beginning to get under my skin.

    I normally am not a person who sleeps. I stay up too late, and get up early. I do try to take short naps, and I think that’s how I have been able to keep my sanity. Yet, the situation I find myself in has not only robbed me of my naps, and also of my normal five to six hours of nightly sleep.

    I need the kid to go back to school.

    This lack of sleep, and child watching, has also robbed me of my ability to do anything creative. To steal these few minutes, I gave her the iPad, and told her just to go watch something – anything – just give me fifteen minutes alone so I can get something done.

    Remember, kids won’t make you a happier person. That only happens if you were happy to begin with. After this week, I don’t think I was ever a happy person.

  • Summer Vacation

    I have started planning for Summer. Vacations, and interactions, and all that other stuff.

    When I was a kid, Summer just meant sleeping in and watching tv all day. I grew up in Texas, and the Summers last from May to October. I’m not kidding when I say that. It can be very normal for the average high in October to be in the 80’s. My memory is that when Halloween rolled around, that was about the point when it started to feel Fall-like, which means that it got up to the 70’s in the day.

    With it being so hot, we stayed inside often, but that’s not to say that we didn’t go outside and sweat our asses off. The kid who had the pool in the neighborhood became everyone’s best friend June through August. But, being inside, I remember hearing the hum of the central air clicking on, and that low rumbling sound, like white noise, creating an audio-scape that would lull me off into a nap, as there was nothing better to do.

    The other thing I remember about Summers growing up, was that the season created odd friendships in the neighborhood. My close friends always had some place to be; a vacation, or visiting family out of state, or for the kids of divorce, spending the whole summer with their other parent. Those of us left in the subdivision became friends out of necessity. I remember hanging out the jock kids, or bullies, or even girls, the people who I would normally not mix with became rapt conspirators in Summer. But inevitably, when the school year started up again, we’d all go back to our groups, and resume the cliques we existed in.

    With my kid, and planning trips and whatnot, I wonder how she will come to view the Summer of her youth? Here in NYC, it is rather short, of only two months, making a total of ten weeks. If what I have planned happens, we will be out of the City for four weeks, leaving six weeks, which I feel the need to fill with some sort of activity. It’s like, I cannot let the kid be bored. Though when I think back on it, boredom was what Summer vacation from school was.

  • The Fear of Missing Out Monster

    The kid this morning told me that she wants out of the after-school program that she is in. I asked why, and she told me she doesn’t have any friends. Then she told me to not get a job so we could spend more time together, and that she play with her friends in the park. I think I know what the issue is, which comes down to that there are two classes in after-school program, and her friends from school are in the other class, and she feels like she is missing out.

    Parent me listened to her, and didn’t pass any judgement. I did remind her that she just needed to get through this week, and then she would be on Spring Break. After that, she only had eight weeks left, and then it was Summer vacation. After that, we could talk about what to do next.

    Regular me knows just what she is going through, as I can remember what it was like to be seven years old, and just wanting to be with your friends. The total and all-consuming angst of not being around them, and assuming that they have forgotten about you, and are no longer having fun. For a split second I almost told her it’s not that big of a deal, but I stopped that. It is a big deal to her. This is the first time she is experiencing something like this, and I don’t want to make her feel ashamed for feeling this way.

    I do know that my job is to help her cope and overcome these feelings, in a healthy and constructive way.

    Sadly, I don’t know if I ever learned that skill set myself. I still feel like I am missing out. That all my friends are having fun without me.

    So, I have work to do for the both of us.