Category: Parenting

  • ODDS and ENDS: MAGA Hat on the Subway, Baseball Season, Rich Kid Bully, and Easter for the Non-Christian

    (And they tore down the Polo Grounds…)

    I was coming home the other day on an uptown B. The car was maybe half full of people who, including myself, were all a little worn out and just wanted to be left alone. And then a group of people got on, clearly tourists, who looked like a family on vacation – mom, dad, teenage daughter, and a teenaged or young adult son. And this son had on a MAGA hat. I think I was the outlier, because I was the only person on the train that did a double take when I saw that hat. The rest of the people on the train didn’t react at all. Then I reminded myself that people are allowed the have their views, and I shouldn’t judge. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this guy might only have that hate on “ironically.” I can’t prove that, just a gut feeling. Either way, they weren’t on that train long; got off at the next stop. And as soon as the family was off the train, and the doors shut, the harsh looks and mumbling started – “What was up with that guy?” “He’s got some big balls to wear that here.” “Maybe he’s here for the trial?”

    Hey! Baseball season started! And the Cubs lost yesterday! Yee-Haw!

    Taking the kid to school, she pointed out to me a boy in her class that goes around and accuses other kids of being poor, and making fun of them. “He made fun of me,” she said, “He said we live in a dumpster.” I then I told her she should say, “Duh! It’s right next door to your parent’s dumpster. Everybody knows that!” That was probably the wrong thing to tell her.

    Easter is this weekend. We celebrate the holiday in the most non-Christian way possible by just eating candy, and deviled eggs and homemade mac n’ cheese. This year we are adding a ground lamb meatloaf. The wife and I were raided Catholic, and we have no intention of raising our daughter Catholic. Now, if she decides that she wants to be Catholic, then I will fully support her in that, but I won’t drop that religion on her. So, when it comes to Easter, we have avoided talking about all the Jesus stuff that’s involved with the holiday, but I know that will change soon. The kid is making more friends who wear their Christianity as a badge. She’s come home with questions, and I have answered them the best I could while trying to stay as neutral as possible. I don’t want my religion hang ups to become her hang ups.  

  • ODDS and ENDS: Playlists, Sports with the Kid, and Playing Pretend

    (When you stop believing…)

    I used to take making mix tapes, mix cd’s and playlists, very seriously. And on the flip side of that, I really treasured receiving mix tapes from friends. There is a shoe box of mine, packed away in our storage space, that contains a mix tape from my high school girlfriend, which is still the most eclectic collection of music I have ever been gifted. Having made mixes for close to thirty years, I admit that there are a handful of songs that appear on nearly every iteration I create. I have landed in a playlist rut, one of my own making, as you can only mix songs you’ve listened to, and if you aren’t adding material to the source to draw from, variety becomes stagnant. I should go back to listening to albums all the way through again.

    The kid wants to watch sports with me this weekend. College basketball would be the obvious choice, but you’d be wrong. She wants to watch soccer. She recently join a team and now wants to submerge herself in as much soccer as possible. The truth is I’ll take any extra time with the kid. I just need to find out if a women’s league is playing Saturday.

    I’m 47 and sometimes I still pretend that I’m in a rock band.

  • What Were the 80’s Like?

    When my daughter asks the wife and I, “What were the 80’s like?” we show her this video.

  • Hurting the Toy’s Feelings

    Yesterday, on the way home from picking my kid up from school, she told me that she wanted to update her room. The issue, from her perspective, was that her room looked to “little kid,” and she wanted her room to look “older.”

    I did let her know that I understood that she was getting older, and her room needed to reflect that. Unfortunately, if she was looking for us to buy her a new bedroom set, that wasn’t happening anytime soon, but I would be willing to help her clean and reorganize her room to reflect what she was desiring it to look like.

    That was acceptable to her, and we started working on it as soon as she was done with her homework.

    To be honest, we were just shuffling stuff around – putting that under her bed, putting this on her shelf. Occasionally, she’d throw something away, but it was rare. I found so many candy wrappers. Clearly, she been squirreling away a large amount of candy.

    The biggest shock of the afternoon was that she wanted to box up her dolls, doll clothes and accessories, and put them away, up on the shelf. I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t think it would be today. At some point we all put our toys down, not to pick them up again with the intention of playing with them. I don’t know when it happened to me, but I know that by the time I was in junior high, it was sports and video games – no pretending with toys anymore.

    But the kid did ask me if this was going to hurt the dolls feelings, that she was putting them away up on the shelf. I was like, no, they’re always here when you need them.

  • ODDS and ENDS: The MET, Spring, and Knit Blazers

    (4 out of 5 dentist recommend…)

    The kid is on Spring Break, which translates into Dad needs to keep the kid occupied. That’s not a complaint, I do enjoy the time we get to spend together. And when she has extended breaks, I make a point of taking her to a museum. This time it was The MET’s turn. I have been there at least half a dozen times in 15 years, and if you’ve been then you know it’s too big to cover in one day. Though me and the kid do try to see it all. I hope these excursions help broaden her perspective and understanding of the world. When my dad took me to museums when I was her age, they really did feel like a treat, and a chance to experience, or at least see, the world outside of our suburban surroundings. It had an impact on me.

    I know Spring is on its way, and right on cue, and I’m ready for it. The first set of flowers are popping out, as are the buds on the trees. I’m looking forward to ditching my winter coat, and opening up the windows. And the old men pot smokers have returned to the park benches. The cycle continues.

    So, my new fashion obsession is the “knit blazer.” I have no logical reason to obtain a knit blazer, as I rarely have any formal occasions in my life these days; even casual formal occasions like going to work. But I can’t shake this image of myself as a casual formally dressed middle aged man who is about town. Maybe the marketing has worked on me, or maybe I really do need to wear a blazer while I do laundry and make dinner.