Category: Parenting

  • Showing My Kid “Cool Hand Luke”

    I’m not the best father. I have very good intentions, and I show up, and I am dependable, but outside of that, I’m floundering around here.

    One of my flounder moments of late is trying to show my kid good movies. Like really good movies, the best movies, movies that had a huge impact on storytelling, movie making; you get the deal. I am way too eager to do this, and I have to remind myself that most of the beast movies ever made aren’t appropriate for a nine-year-old.

    So, of late, I have just been showing her the start of movies or very famous scenes. Amazingly, this has worked out very well. After watching Barbie together, I thought showing her the opening “Dawn of Man” section of 2001: A Space Odyssey would be a good idea, as that part is parodied in Barbie. And I was delightfully rewarded showing it to her, because she was able to visually follow the story, understood the importance of the bone/tool, and how tools good be used for good and bad. And she especially understood what Barbie was parodying.

    After having such a rewarding experience with 2001, I decided that I would press my luck and show her one of my favorite movies, Cool Hand Luke, a film I consider a great movie and if nothing else, it’s Paul Newman’s best performance. Unfortunately, the only streaming service I could find that had the movie came with commercials. What this availed to us was two minutes for me to answer questions, which is to be expected, as I do have a very curious and inquisitive child. Mind you, we only got 1/3 of the way through the movie.

    The questions she provided me were; Where are the girls? Why does everyone smoke? Don’t they know that’s bad for them? Is there a prison for women and do they do the same thing? Do they have air conditioning? Are the guards allowed to shoot people? If the guards shoot people, do they get in trouble? Why isn’t “The Box” illegal? Are there bugs and rats in “The Box?” And my favorite – How do you play poker?

    I don’t mind her questions, that’s how you learn; you ask questions, right. What I forgot was how much of a huge jump in her experience it is to see a movie made in 1967 about people living in the South during the early 1950’s. It’s just on the very edge of her understanding. Such as, she sees the cars and the trucks, those are things she can relate to and understand. But no air conditioning? She doesn’t know a world without A/C. And then I had to explain to her what parking meters were – how you had to put change in a machine, and turn a handle, and it counted down until you had to put more change in it. That kind’a blew her mind…

    And we haven’t even got to the egg eating scene yet.

  • ODDS and ENDS: MAGA Hat on the Subway, Baseball Season, Rich Kid Bully, and Easter for the Non-Christian

    (And they tore down the Polo Grounds…)

    I was coming home the other day on an uptown B. The car was maybe half full of people who, including myself, were all a little worn out and just wanted to be left alone. And then a group of people got on, clearly tourists, who looked like a family on vacation – mom, dad, teenage daughter, and a teenaged or young adult son. And this son had on a MAGA hat. I think I was the outlier, because I was the only person on the train that did a double take when I saw that hat. The rest of the people on the train didn’t react at all. Then I reminded myself that people are allowed the have their views, and I shouldn’t judge. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this guy might only have that hate on “ironically.” I can’t prove that, just a gut feeling. Either way, they weren’t on that train long; got off at the next stop. And as soon as the family was off the train, and the doors shut, the harsh looks and mumbling started – “What was up with that guy?” “He’s got some big balls to wear that here.” “Maybe he’s here for the trial?”

    Hey! Baseball season started! And the Cubs lost yesterday! Yee-Haw!

    Taking the kid to school, she pointed out to me a boy in her class that goes around and accuses other kids of being poor, and making fun of them. “He made fun of me,” she said, “He said we live in a dumpster.” I then I told her she should say, “Duh! It’s right next door to your parent’s dumpster. Everybody knows that!” That was probably the wrong thing to tell her.

    Easter is this weekend. We celebrate the holiday in the most non-Christian way possible by just eating candy, and deviled eggs and homemade mac n’ cheese. This year we are adding a ground lamb meatloaf. The wife and I were raided Catholic, and we have no intention of raising our daughter Catholic. Now, if she decides that she wants to be Catholic, then I will fully support her in that, but I won’t drop that religion on her. So, when it comes to Easter, we have avoided talking about all the Jesus stuff that’s involved with the holiday, but I know that will change soon. The kid is making more friends who wear their Christianity as a badge. She’s come home with questions, and I have answered them the best I could while trying to stay as neutral as possible. I don’t want my religion hang ups to become her hang ups.  

  • ODDS and ENDS: Playlists, Sports with the Kid, and Playing Pretend

    (When you stop believing…)

    I used to take making mix tapes, mix cd’s and playlists, very seriously. And on the flip side of that, I really treasured receiving mix tapes from friends. There is a shoe box of mine, packed away in our storage space, that contains a mix tape from my high school girlfriend, which is still the most eclectic collection of music I have ever been gifted. Having made mixes for close to thirty years, I admit that there are a handful of songs that appear on nearly every iteration I create. I have landed in a playlist rut, one of my own making, as you can only mix songs you’ve listened to, and if you aren’t adding material to the source to draw from, variety becomes stagnant. I should go back to listening to albums all the way through again.

    The kid wants to watch sports with me this weekend. College basketball would be the obvious choice, but you’d be wrong. She wants to watch soccer. She recently join a team and now wants to submerge herself in as much soccer as possible. The truth is I’ll take any extra time with the kid. I just need to find out if a women’s league is playing Saturday.

    I’m 47 and sometimes I still pretend that I’m in a rock band.

  • What Were the 80’s Like?

    When my daughter asks the wife and I, “What were the 80’s like?” we show her this video.

  • Hurting the Toy’s Feelings

    Yesterday, on the way home from picking my kid up from school, she told me that she wanted to update her room. The issue, from her perspective, was that her room looked to “little kid,” and she wanted her room to look “older.”

    I did let her know that I understood that she was getting older, and her room needed to reflect that. Unfortunately, if she was looking for us to buy her a new bedroom set, that wasn’t happening anytime soon, but I would be willing to help her clean and reorganize her room to reflect what she was desiring it to look like.

    That was acceptable to her, and we started working on it as soon as she was done with her homework.

    To be honest, we were just shuffling stuff around – putting that under her bed, putting this on her shelf. Occasionally, she’d throw something away, but it was rare. I found so many candy wrappers. Clearly, she been squirreling away a large amount of candy.

    The biggest shock of the afternoon was that she wanted to box up her dolls, doll clothes and accessories, and put them away, up on the shelf. I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t think it would be today. At some point we all put our toys down, not to pick them up again with the intention of playing with them. I don’t know when it happened to me, but I know that by the time I was in junior high, it was sports and video games – no pretending with toys anymore.

    But the kid did ask me if this was going to hurt the dolls feelings, that she was putting them away up on the shelf. I was like, no, they’re always here when you need them.