Category: Parenting

  • That Nap Ruined My Day

    We all make mistakes.

    In fact, here’s the one I made today.

    The kid had a half day at school, so she was home by 1pm. Before I went and got her, I did all the tasks and errands that I needed to do; balanced the checkbook, did the dishes, plugged in and ran the AC’s, got the kid from school, and made lunch. I even wrote in my journal, and did a good bit of reading – caught up on some flash pieces I have been meaning to read and finished a book of short stories.

    The kid had some homework, and we both sat down on the couch to do it. I don’t do the homework, I’m more along for moral support, and encouragement. Anyway, as I was sitting there, being that I’m not needed a whole lot, I decided that I should start reading another book. I got about 2 pages into it, and I fell asleep. Now, it wasn’t a deep sleep, but it was 45 minutes. I only woke up because the kid nudged me to ask if I was sleeping.

    But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to get myself back in gear. It’s like I’m walking through sand now. I’m so sluggish and foggy brained. I had plans for the second half of the afternoon, but I can’t seem to focus. Honestly, it’s taken me an hour to get myself to just sit down and do this.

    Hell, I promised the kid we’d go running in the park, and I still have to make dinner. I thought I was going to review a story but that doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards.

    I swear, if I nap for fifteen minutes, I am solid and refreshed. But anything over that amount of time, it’s like a crap shoot – God only knows how I’m going to react.

    I think I can blame this one on getting older.

  • The Act of Painting

    If you want to experience a hidden New York treasure, then you should go to the basement paint department at the Manhattan Home Depot on 23rd Street. At that location, you can watch New York couples implode as they try and pick out paint colors. It is a graveyard of relationships.

    The wife and I prefer the Home Depot in Yonkers. Less couple strife, and more space. We were there over the long weekend to pick the colors for our living room. We generally know the colors we want to use, now it’s just a matter of getting the correct complementary hues. And we did it all without an argument.

    Points for us.

    Which means that when school is out, I’m going to start painting the living room. But before the painting, there will be patching holes in the walls. And then cleaning. It’s a small apartment, so half the living room is going to have to temporarily hold all the stuff while I paint the open half, then a swap, and I paint the other half. Oh, and I have to paint the ceiling as well. I think I can get the kid to help… I think…

    I’m saying all of this because I have to psych myself up to it. It feels like a shit ton of work, because it is a shit ton of work. Will I feel better when the job is done? Most likely. Pretty much. Yes, yes, I will feel immensely better when the job is completed.

    Not that the whole job is a chore. The actual painting is enjoyable. The repetitive motion, the up and down, back and forth. Music helps, but the sound of the paint rolling on the wall has a satisfying quality to it. And in the end, painting is making a change, and change can be fun.

  • Summer Summer Summer

    My kid has started counting down the days until Summer vacation. (She has 17 days left.) Schools about to be out forever, and the sweaters and coats are being packed away for another season. She is talking about swimming and vacations, and going to the beach all the time now. The start of Summer is so close, yet still far away for her, but the idea of Summer seems infinite – long hot days, and then cool evenings sitting on the couch in air conditioning.

    I try not plan too much of her Summer. We’ll do some trips to museums, and we’ll hit up the local community pool. The kid has told me that she wants to work on her soccer skills, and I think I can convince her to go hiking. What I would really like to do is put her to work on a few home improvement projects around here. I would like to paint the living room, and I think I could make that a life lesson that she needs to learn.

    You know, I enjoyed my time as a kid, and to be honest, if I had a choice of going back and being a kid again, I would not take it. I like being an adult. BUT! If there is one feeling I could relive one more time, it would be that feeling on the last day of school, when the bell rings for the final time, and you are free to go forth on your Summer vacation. That felling of weight being lifted, of freedom, excitement, possibility… That! If I could just grasp that feeling once more.

    I do get the next best thing, which is seeing my daughter live it.

  • Short Story Review: “Nocturnal Creatures” by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh

    (The short story “Nocturnal Creatures” by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh appeared in the May 5 th, 2025 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Illustration by Anuj Shrestha

    I like this story a lot, so I’m not gun’na fart around with some cute opening here. “Nocturnal Creatures” by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh is a very good story and you should read it.

    Overly Simplified Synopsis: A exterminator meets a single mother and her son while on the job, and they all become involved.

    To start with, Saïd Sayrafiezadeh crafts this story very well. Every time I have read this story, I keep coming to a better appreciation of how all the pieces of this story are laid out, how they interlock and interact. For example, the first section of this story establishes the character of the exterminator, how he views himself and his job. Then going into the next part, when he meets the mother, we are shown the ways she tries to take care of herself and her son which leads us to understand, from the previous section, why the exterminator would identify with her. It’s a little cheesy to say this, but Sayrafiezadeh does an excellent job of “showing” us who these characters are, and not “telling” us. (And somewhere in the world, a creating writing professor just got his wings!) But seriously, each section builds on the previous, creating a momentum in the story with their actions. The narrative never gets mired down in explanations, because Sayrafiezadeh provides a clear understanding of these characters motivations by what they are doing.

    And these are characters that have lived, and maybe they haven’t had the best breaks in life, but they aren’t broken either. There is an optimism to them, but also a melancholy. Are they repeating past mistakes, or trying to make amends for their past? I was fascinated with how the exterminator never said he cared about the mother and her son, but his actions were that of a guy who wants to take care of them. The fact that he gave up his day sleeping time to be with them, wasn’t lost on me. And this was a mother who hadn’t given up on her ambitions, but she knew she had responsibilities which she did her best to uphold. I felt I knew these people, and wanted them to succeed, to carve out the happiness they deserved. But there felt like a little dark cloud hung over their lives, keeping the story grounded in realism, because life’s not always fair, no matter how good intentions attempt to be.

    I wanted it to work out. I wanted them to be happy, but there isn’t a clear, concrete answer to what happens next, and that’s okay. I’m good with the decision that Sayrafiezadeh made to end it the way he did. Maybe it’s a bit of a ploy – yet I would argue that over the course of the story, we have been shown how these characters continually make choices to be together. So why would that change at the end of the story when they reach the crux of their situation?

  • A Manic Laundry Monday

    A Manic Laundry Monday

    In case anyone has forgotten, I am a stay at home dad. Though hard to believe, blogging don’t pay the bills, and as such, I take my responsibility as the primary caregiver of my family very serious. Well… Serious enough. I’m not great at this stuff, but I do get the job done.

    And the one jobs I do on the regular is my families laundry. I do lots of laundry, and as the kid keeps getting older and bigger, I am doing more and more laundry. I have started to fear and dread the teenage years, and the amount of clothing that will be coming my way.

    Now, I have only been the stay at home dad for the past five years, but my mastery of all things laundry has been ongoing for eleven. Even before the kid was born, I took care of out clothes. Sometimes I would drop it off at a wash and fold service, sometimes I would get up early on a Sunday morning and take care of it. But for whatever reason, be it through decision or frustration, I became the laundry guy.

    And full honesty, it is my least favorite chore. Cooking, cleaning, doing the finances, going to the school meetings, dropping the kid off/picking her up – all of that I am fine with. Just not the laundry. It’s a thankless task, and no one likes it, and it eats up so much of my time. I try to get it all done on Monday, as no one likes Monday, and I have found that at my local laundromat, Monday is the least busy day.

    But I have started to wonder of late, that I can’t keep this up forever. I have to carry the laundry to the mat, and as I pointed out, each year, more and more clothing gets added to the task. I fear that at some point, the laundry chore will become so big that I will either have to split it up over two days, or I am going to have to beg my landlord to allow us to have a washer/dryer hook up. Not that we have a place for it in this tiny apartment. Surely, I don’t want to be that old man carrying a sack of dirty clothes, or worse yet, have to use a granny cart…