Category: Parenting

  • Earworm Wednesday: It’s from that Movie, Right?

    “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” was suggested by my daughter, who associates this song with the end of Real Genius. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that this song does play at the end of that movie, you know, when all the kids are jumping in the popcorn that exploded out of that professor’s house. For some reason I thought this song played at the end of a John Huges movie, like The Breakfast Club. (I was thinking of “Don’t You (Forget About Me.” which I might use next week.)

    Anyway, the kid hates how easy this song gets stuck in her head. My memory of it is listening to it on the radio when my Mom was driving me around in her Chevette in the late 80’s. We might have been on our way to the J.C. Penny’s at Six Flags Mall to buy me a pair senseable slacks.

  • The Bored Days of Summer (Unedited)

    We got three days into Summer Vacation, and the kid announced that she was bored.

    “There’s nothing to do”

    “No one to talk to”

    “Nothing to watch”

    “Nothing to read”

    “Nothing to listen to”

    I think you get the idea.

    Not surprised to hear her say this. All kids get bored when they have too much time on their hands. When the get too much freedom, it becomes repressive. As I am the stay at home dad, I get the brunt of the kid’s complaints, and she looks to me to solve this problem of hers.

    My first reaction was to tell her that it’s not my job to eliminate her boredom.

    But as soon as I said that, it dawned on me that it really is my job to end her boredom. Look, if I don’t get involved then she will want to zombie out on the iPad, and that is the worst thing that could happen.

    I’m not saying that she won’t get on the iPad this Summer, but I want to limit that as much as possible.

    Now, I don’t want to create mindless things for her to do, such as dumping a bunch of chores on her. There is no joy or magical memories that come from that. No, what I want to do is encourage healthy habits while also spending time together. (She will help me paint the livingroom this Summer, so she does have one huge chore, but we’ve been talking about that for months now.) I want her to stay active, so we are going to go running, and work on her soccer skills. I also want to keep her reading up, so we need to set time aside for that. She’s brought up that she wants to go to a museum, so that will take care of the art side of things. And I want to encourage her to think about the food she wants to learn how to make, and then we can work on recipe testing.

    IN the end, what I know to be true is that you only get to have so many Summers as a kid. When the days are hot but not too hot, and the Summer feels like it stretches on forever. In two or three years, I really won’t see her over the Summer, as she’ll be involved in something, or will be hanging out with her friends. Until then, I want to make sure she has some memories of enjoying time with her dad. Doing stupid stuff while trying to avoid being bored.

  • That Nap Ruined My Day

    We all make mistakes.

    In fact, here’s the one I made today.

    The kid had a half day at school, so she was home by 1pm. Before I went and got her, I did all the tasks and errands that I needed to do; balanced the checkbook, did the dishes, plugged in and ran the AC’s, got the kid from school, and made lunch. I even wrote in my journal, and did a good bit of reading – caught up on some flash pieces I have been meaning to read and finished a book of short stories.

    The kid had some homework, and we both sat down on the couch to do it. I don’t do the homework, I’m more along for moral support, and encouragement. Anyway, as I was sitting there, being that I’m not needed a whole lot, I decided that I should start reading another book. I got about 2 pages into it, and I fell asleep. Now, it wasn’t a deep sleep, but it was 45 minutes. I only woke up because the kid nudged me to ask if I was sleeping.

    But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to get myself back in gear. It’s like I’m walking through sand now. I’m so sluggish and foggy brained. I had plans for the second half of the afternoon, but I can’t seem to focus. Honestly, it’s taken me an hour to get myself to just sit down and do this.

    Hell, I promised the kid we’d go running in the park, and I still have to make dinner. I thought I was going to review a story but that doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards.

    I swear, if I nap for fifteen minutes, I am solid and refreshed. But anything over that amount of time, it’s like a crap shoot – God only knows how I’m going to react.

    I think I can blame this one on getting older.

  • The Act of Painting

    If you want to experience a hidden New York treasure, then you should go to the basement paint department at the Manhattan Home Depot on 23rd Street. At that location, you can watch New York couples implode as they try and pick out paint colors. It is a graveyard of relationships.

    The wife and I prefer the Home Depot in Yonkers. Less couple strife, and more space. We were there over the long weekend to pick the colors for our living room. We generally know the colors we want to use, now it’s just a matter of getting the correct complementary hues. And we did it all without an argument.

    Points for us.

    Which means that when school is out, I’m going to start painting the living room. But before the painting, there will be patching holes in the walls. And then cleaning. It’s a small apartment, so half the living room is going to have to temporarily hold all the stuff while I paint the open half, then a swap, and I paint the other half. Oh, and I have to paint the ceiling as well. I think I can get the kid to help… I think…

    I’m saying all of this because I have to psych myself up to it. It feels like a shit ton of work, because it is a shit ton of work. Will I feel better when the job is done? Most likely. Pretty much. Yes, yes, I will feel immensely better when the job is completed.

    Not that the whole job is a chore. The actual painting is enjoyable. The repetitive motion, the up and down, back and forth. Music helps, but the sound of the paint rolling on the wall has a satisfying quality to it. And in the end, painting is making a change, and change can be fun.

  • Summer Summer Summer

    My kid has started counting down the days until Summer vacation. (She has 17 days left.) Schools about to be out forever, and the sweaters and coats are being packed away for another season. She is talking about swimming and vacations, and going to the beach all the time now. The start of Summer is so close, yet still far away for her, but the idea of Summer seems infinite – long hot days, and then cool evenings sitting on the couch in air conditioning.

    I try not plan too much of her Summer. We’ll do some trips to museums, and we’ll hit up the local community pool. The kid has told me that she wants to work on her soccer skills, and I think I can convince her to go hiking. What I would really like to do is put her to work on a few home improvement projects around here. I would like to paint the living room, and I think I could make that a life lesson that she needs to learn.

    You know, I enjoyed my time as a kid, and to be honest, if I had a choice of going back and being a kid again, I would not take it. I like being an adult. BUT! If there is one feeling I could relive one more time, it would be that feeling on the last day of school, when the bell rings for the final time, and you are free to go forth on your Summer vacation. That felling of weight being lifted, of freedom, excitement, possibility… That! If I could just grasp that feeling once more.

    I do get the next best thing, which is seeing my daughter live it.