Category: Parenting

  • Snow Day!

    Schools canceled! Making time for reading, watching movies, playing games, and sledding!

  • ODDS and ENDS: 50th Street Stop, Swearing, and The Blizzard

    (Got arrested at Mardi Gras for jumpin’ on a float…)

    You might not know this, but there is a time distortion that happens at the 50th Street station on the C line. At the station, C trains arrive on average, every 12 minutes. Yet, if you go one stop before or after 50th (42nd and 59th Street respectively) you will observe that C trains arrive every 6 minutes. Somehow, come towards or going away from 50th Street on a C train adds or takes away 6 minutes of time. This distortion may be caused by a Doppler Effect, a red or blue shift as it were, with time. More research is needed, clearly, as this distortion may have the potential to rethink our understanding of time and space. But most importantly, the C trains arrive never shows up at 50th when you need it!!!

    I have a bit of a potty mouth. For the longest time I didn’t swear at all. Then something popped in my brain around 25 and I stopped giving a shit. (Mind you, I’m a pretty clean writer. Sometimes it comes out but not often. The reason is I think the over use of swear words in writing demonstrates a lack of vocabulary and creativity with the language.) It’s tricky with a kid. I do my best, but it sort of flies outta me, as my filter is rather porous. I fear that I’m being a bad influence on the kid, but we do live in New York. She’s heard way worse on the street than anything I’ve said.

    So… a blizzard is coming Sunday. We could get anywhere from 6” to 16”. And then there’s the chance for ice. Me and the kid are super excited about this. I love snow and ice. I love the winter season, and I love snowball fights and building snowmen. I love to sled, and we bought a two seater one so I could take part with the kid. I love watching the snow fall, and how quiet it makes the City as it’s coming down. I love that first walk in the snow, and how everything appears new, clear and fresh. Can you telling grew up in a place that never got snow?

  • ODDS and ENDS: I Hate Fractions, Breakfast Memories, and I Have a Problem…

    ODDS and ENDS: I Hate Fractions, Breakfast Memories, and I Have a Problem…

    (Three is a magic number…)

    Fractions suck. They have sucked since I was first introduced to them back in 5th grade, and to this day, they are still sucking away. I know that their suckage has continued because my daughter came home with math homework that was nothing but stupid word problem fraction questions. “It takes 1 3/4 cups of flour to make a batch of cookies. Dave wants to make 4 1/8 batches of cookies. If Dave has 8 2/3 cups of flour, how much flour will he have left over after he bakes his cookies?” Honestly, who gives a shit. Why aren’t they teaching kids to convert the fractions to decimals, because the world runs on decimals. Lucky for the kid, she didn’t inherit her father’s useless mathematical mind, and at least can handle it better that I did.

    This morning, as I was waking up the kid, and getting breakfast started, a memory shock-shot into my head. I returned to being four or five years old, sitting at the kitchen table eating Franken Berry cereal, watching my mother in her old yellow robe whisk and glide around the kitchen make school lunches for my brothers. There was a radio on top of the refrigerator that was playing “Fun, Fun, Fun.” I was trying to follow the lyric, but was confused. “What’s a T-bird?” I asked my mom. “It’s a car,” she said. “Why does the dad take it away?” “She got in trouble.” This was all confusing to me.

    I’m addicted to my phone, and it’s becoming a problem. Sure, a little of it has to do with doom scrolling because of all the news of late. Yet, I know that I am spending too much time on my phone. I lost a half hour just now, looking a videos of people signing about how awful musical theatre is. Like, I need to wrap up my writing this morning, and get to my chores… but I had to see if there were any new ICE videos. Now I feel like I am behind, and the day is slipping away. I have to put it down. I have to stop. I have to do better and more constructive things with my time. Like come up with a good button to end this piece…

  • Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

    And it would be nice if the Cowboys won, too!

  • What Did I Do Today?

    I over slept, for one.

    I made a breakfast of cereal because I was tired.

    I walked the dog.

    I woke my daughter up.

    I made my daughter breakfast.

    I had a long conversation with my daughter because she felt sad and anxious.

    I started laundry and finished laundry.

    I made my family lunch.

    I fell asleep on the couch watching an old episode of Great British Baking Show.

    I cleaned the kitchen.

    Made a Thanksgiving grocery shopping list.

    I listened to The Beatles’ Anthology 4 while folding laundry.

    I am currently writing a blog.

    I still have to walk the dog.

    I still have to shower.

    I still have to make dinner.

    I still have to clean the kitchen again.

    I still have to make the coffee for the morning.

    I still have to put the kid to bed.

    I still have to play MarioKart and try and beat the final circuit in the Mirror Level.

    I still have to snuggle with my wife on the couch as we watch Tracker.

    I still have to put my wife to bed.

    I still have to watch part three of Ken Burn’s The American Revolution.

    I still have to go to bed.