Category: Life

  • Zapped! Because It’s Snowing

    Nothing zaps my motivation like watching snow falling out the window. The Nor’easter is here today, but down in the City, nothing is going to stick, so it’s just a pretty show. I’m sitting here on the couch, listening to music, thinking about all the other things I wanted to do today.

    I won’t go grocery shopping.

    I won’t write a short story review.

    I will think about how the word “nor’easter” is silly to say. I could look up its entomology, but that would like figuring out how the magic trick is done. What fun is that?

    Nor’easter

    I will think about how twenty years went by like that.

    I will think about the people I should apologize to.

    And I will think about the people I need to forgive.

    I will watch the big huge snowflakes falling past my window only to land on the fire escape and melt away.

    That fire escape that I used to smoke on.

    The other day the kid asked me if I used to smoke, and I told her the truth, and she was disappointed with me. She asked if I knew that smoking would kill me, which I did. Why do grownups do things that are bad for them, was her question.

    That’s a tough one.

    Oh, it’s really snowing now.

    I’ll work hard tomorrow.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Old Debates, It’s Okay to Not Have Kids, and Dog Shit

    (Fries are done…)

    I have been blessed, or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with the ability to stay up very late at night, and still wake up early. Though I may need a nap in the middle of the day, it’s given me one true positive advantage; I get to watch lots of useless things. Lately, I have started watching old episodes of Siskle & Ebert. The original purpose of watching was to remind myself of good movies that I had forgotten about. But as I watched these shows, I noticed something about how Gene and Roger argued. My memory was that there were passionate about their opinions and were willing to really get in there and fight for what they believed, even to the point of personally insulting the other. Yet, when I rewatched, I was struck by how they were very respectful in their arguing. And often, they looked amused when they argued. It wasn’t at all the cat and dog fights that I remembered. In one sense, I could just chalk this up to a faulty memory and a little Mandela effect. Or, maybe, televised arguing has become more brutal and bare knuckled over the past thirty years. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe people were nicer and more respectful in the past.

    Yesterday, I read about Seth Rogen and his thoughts on being married and not having kids. (Good for BuzzFeed, still staying relevant. That’s where I read it.) He made is case of what is right for him and his wife, and he did a good job of articulating his thoughts on the issue. I got a lot of married friends that don’t have kids, and I have a lot of unmarried friends that have kids. And I know some people who have kids and wish they didn’t. Look, I’m married and have a kid and I love it. I also love having one kid, and want it to stay that way. That’s what’s right for the wife and I, and we’re very happy. And no one questions our decision. Our decision gets respected, and it ceases to be an issue. I just think that courtesy should be extended to everyone, regardless of what their reason is for having or not having kids.

    But if you’re not willing to pick up your dog’s shit, then you shouldn’t have a dog. Seriously, turds are part of the deal. So, stop being a tourist and take some responsibility.

  • Inevitable Being

    Walking the kid to school this morning, she told me that she didn’t want to get married when she grew up. What she wanted was two dogs, a cat, a rabbit, and that she would be a doctor. I told that sounded like a good idea; there are a lot of people out there who don’t get married, and are very happy.

    She asked me if I always wanted to get married.

    I said no, but when I met her mother, I changed my mind. That’s what happens when you meet important people, they make you think differently about things.

    Then the kid asked me if I had a girlfriend before mom.

    I did.

    Does mom know you had a girlfriend before her?

    She does.

    Did you kiss this girlfriend?

    I did.

    DOES MOM KNOW THAT!

    She does.

    Then the kid thought about this for a while, and then concluded, I’m glad you married mom because it’s weird to think I would have had a different mom.

    And I remember thinking the same thing when I was a kid talking to my parents about how they started dating. That if things didn’t work out between my parents, I would still have been born, but just to a different mother, or by chance a different father. But whatever the pairing, I would have come into existence.

    I kind’a assumed that this childish thought that I had about my birth was due to my catholic upbringing. Having been taught that my soul was eternal, and that I would always exist, it was just a matter of God grabbing me and throwing me down to Earth to be born. That God had a plan for me, and that my birth and parents were just a necessary step in the process of my existence.

    But for my daughter, we aren’t raising her with religion. (That is a blog for a different day.) We don’t shy away from conversations about God and religion, but she hasn’t been giving the stories of how God made her soul, and sent her down to mom’s womb. She’s been told the truth, that she is a creation of a little bit of mom, and a little bit of dad, and when it’s put together, it creates an original her, unlike anyone else in the world. Yet, she still believes that her existence is inevitable. That there was nothing that would stop her coming into being.

    This isn’t a surprising revelation, now that I think about it. Can anyone really think of a world where they weren’t in it?

    Just a sweet philosophical morning with the kid.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Rats, FA Cup, and Spring

    New York City has always had a rat problem. When the Dutch founded their colony almost 400 years ago, they brought many things we are still dealing with to this day, but none are more ingrained in the fabric of the City than the rats. Face it, when the nuclear holocaust comes, it will be the rats and the cockroaches fighting for supremacy. And I have my money on the rats. The problem has become so bad that Mayor Adams appointed a Rat Czar to deal with it. Many proposals have been made like placing rat-proof trash and compost cans around the City, to banning the restaurant sidewalk sheds. These ideas might work, but walking around town I see a more practical answer right there in the open: Cats. My local bodega has a cat, and that place has been rodent free since it opened. I’m not kidding about this. My grandfather grew up on a farm and they kept cats in the barn to keep rats and mice away, and according to him it worked well with very little effort on his part; The cat kind’a knew what to do. So, just think about it- cats.

    Who needs an FA Cup? Not Tottenham Hotspur, that’s for sure.

    I know we are only on the third day of March, but I’m ready for Spring. I’m ready to open up the windows, and start hiking again on the weekends. Maybe even a little disc golf as well. I’m ready for green and color to return. I’m ready to transition to the next thing.

  • Distracted Today

    I set a schedule for myself and I try to stick to it. Wednesday is the one day of the week that is all my own. I don’t have any chores to take care of, no obligations to the family other than dropping off and picking the kid up from school. Wednesday is the day that I read short stories, write a review of one, and then work on my other writing.

    But not today.

    Everything has felt a little off.

    It started like normal. Got the family up, kid off to school, and went to the gym. Got home, settled in on the couch with a coffee, and started making the rounds of reading short fiction online, and in magazines. And I read for two hours, about 8 different stories, but my mind kept pulling me out of what I was doing. I was having trouble focusing, you know, just an overall difficulty at completing the simple task of reading, and thinking about what I had just read.

    It was a malaise that was coming over and around me. I was doing something for myself, that I enjoy doing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something else. Something practical. Reading this morning started to feel like I was hiding out, avoiding, procrastinating away from what I should really be doing with my time.

    My mind wanted me to think about money and finances.

    We have a plan, which we have stuck to, but we hit a rough patch yesterday. Surprise medical bills, which delays our ability to pay down the debt. There is a chance that things could improve, but for the improvement to happen, I need to get a job.

    And that’s what is gnawing at me today; should I really be sitting around on the couch reading? Should I write a blog, when I should be updating my resume, searching Indeed?

    Clearly, I opted for the blog. I mean, I’m going to look for a job after lunch, and then get back to reading.