Category: Life

  • That Guy “Dan” from High School

    I went to high school with this guy, let’s call him Dan. We weren’t really friends, such as we didn’t hang out after school, but we hung in parallel social groups, and if we had a class together, we sit near each other so we could crack jokes and pass the time. He was very tall and lanky, but with no athletic coordination or maybe he didn’t like sports, so he preferred to be an outsider, but with his height, you couldn’t miss him. He was soft spoken, real dry sense of humor, and he was the type of guy you’d see reading Naked Lunch or The Bell Jar. He was smart, but a slacker, and he carried himself like a 90’s neo-hippie, you know, he looked like he was in The Spin Doctors.

    Dan had a thought or an opinion on just about everything. I had read about it somewhere, is what he would say when he had some knowledge that covered a rather arcane subject. But music, that was his big thing. I was, and still am for that matter, a huge Beatles fan which Dan was as well. He told me, that one day my music taste would evolve – not that I would stop liking The Beatles – but I would follow down the path of enlightened music enjoyment. He said that I would start with The Beatles, then in a few years I would be all about Led Zeppelin, and that I would end with Pink Floyd. I didn’t think too much of it, but his idea did stay in the back of my mind.

    I graduated and went away to college, for a reason I have forgotten, I bought “Physical Graffiti,” and I got hooked on Led Zeppelin. Somewhere, hiding in the back of my mind where I placed it, I envisioned Dan sitting Lotus style, hand raised to heaven, surrounded by a cloud of pot smoke, smiling and nodding at me – “You have attained the next level” he imparted on me. The truth is that I did start on a path of deep diving into all things Led Zeppelin. Got all the albums, hunted down rare “B” sides, read biographies, even did a sad stint of trying to learn how to play their songs… that didn’t go well.

    Then, jump ahead three years, and I have dropped out of college and am working at a pizza delivery place in my home town. Who should happen to come in and get a job at that pizza place? Why, it’s Dan! It didn’t take him long to scope out my car, which had three band stickers on the back window; The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Nirvana. “What, no Pink Floyd?” he asked.

    I was slightly surprised that he remembered that conversation, but I had to admit that I never really got into Pink Floyd. I mean, I had a copy of “Darkside of the Moon,” and it was cool and all, but I never had any interest in going any farther than that.

    It was like I kicked his puppy. Dan was so disappointed in me. “Pink Floyd will be there for you when you’re ready,” he added.

    I don’t think about Dan often, but when I do, it’s all pleasant and happy memories. Sad to say, I have never come around to Pink Floyd. Not that I have anything against them. It’s just not my thing. Yet, when a Pink Floyd song comes up on a Spotify playlist, I think of Dan; knowing that he is still floating on a great pot cloud in the sky – waiting for me to join him – maybe to push play on “Wish You Were Here.”

  • ODDS and ENDS: Real Spring, Writing in Cafes, and Teaching My Daughter Important Stuff

    (What you tryin’ to hand me…)

    Well, today felt like the first day of Real Spring. Not that fake Spring where it’s warm for like an hour or two, and then it goes back to being cold. No, Real Spring is when it’s cool in the morning, sunny sky, and you know that by afternoon you will need to take off your coat. Yeah, flowers are coming up, and a few buds are showing up on trees. I even saw a squirrel waving at people. I will be happy to have the windows open again, and there is something reassuring about sleeping with the windows open at night. The kid is excited because she says that she will be able to start wearing shorts again. (She equates Spring as a lower version of Summer, but who am I to burst that bubble…) Real Spring does mean that change is on the wind, and life is about to renew. It’s also when the wife and I switch from sipping bourbon to enjoying a gin and tonic after work.

    I have started writing in cafes and coffee shops again. I’m not a huge fan of it; the act boarders on the side of performative art. But I have to also admit that writing at home has become a difficult situation for me. Difficult because Mario Cart is so tempting, and sitting in the apartment reminds me of how many home improvement projects I haven’t finished. So, to the neighborhood cafe I go. Luckily, I am not alone when I work there. I have been arriving at the same time each day, but haven’t discovered any regulars. As far as I can tell, I think I am the only writer. Seems like everyone else is working on code. And they all seem younger than me.

    I am still trying to figure out this parenting thing. Most of the time, I do believe that I am doing a good job raising her, making sure she is prepared for the world that she will enter sooner than I would like. And I do drop the ball from time to time, and make mistakes. But, I have learned to own up to my mistakes, and apologize to her when I do fail. And then on other days, I make her sit and watch the MST3k episode of “Bride of the Monster,” because I want her to be funny. Or at least appreciate weird funny stuff. She seemed to have enjoyed it. I just need to wait and see if I hear her make Lobo jokes around her friends.

  • Short Story Review: “Hatagaya Lore” by Bryan Washington

    (The short story “Hatagaya Lore” by Bryan Washington appeared in the March 31st, 2025 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Illustration by Kotori Mamata

    When I moved to New York City, a place I always wanted to live in, it took years before it felt like my home. It took even longer for the guy who works at the bodega at the end of the block to acknowledge me at a regular in the neighborhood. (He now calls me “chief” instead of “you.”) But gradually, it started to feel like my home, and now it’s hard to think of it as anything but. Bryan Washington’s “Hatagaya Lore” examines how a place can become your community, and then your indispensable home.

    Here’s an overly simplified synopsis: The narrator and his husband move to Tokyo from Dallas. At first the narrator isn’t sure how to fit in, but soon finds his community, which leads to changes and growth.

    What I loved about Bryan Washington’s story is how he intersects community and intimacy, and the connections that are created from it. The narrator goes out and finds a community that he can connect to that sustains him as he journey in Japan. Yet, there is also a need in the narrator for more of an intimate connection with people, which isn’t always sexual, but is necessary to keep the narrator grounded, as the person he is growing into is beginning to flourish. Also, I liked Washington’s choice to have the narrator tells us, ever so briefly, about other relationships the he has had over the years in this story, but aren’t explained in detail, thus creating a feeling of trust and confidence between the narrator and us the reader; that we are only being told what is most important to the narrator, and nothing superfluous. It’s as if we are being added into the narrator’s community. Finally, I commend that the climax of this story is not the narrator “realizing” something profound, but is the narrator listening and observing.

    Bryan Washington’s writing skills are just phenomenal. He is one of my favorite “less is more” writers out there. Spartan is a fair description of how he describes most things in this story, but I am never left wanting for more, or feeling that details are missing. I appreciated how subtly the disillusion of the marriage was shown. In this story, a scene of their breakup isn’t needed, but showing that moment when the trust between the couple, that break in emotional intimacy, spoke volumes about the state of their relationship. And this story is peppered with moments like that, where there is a breath and space in this writing that allows weight to be infused in these situations.

    I’m a fan of Bryan Washington, and I can admit that I might not be the most objective person when it comes to evaluating this story, but eh… It’s a good story all around. I enjoyed being with these characters, seeing them interact, and watching them grow and find their place in the world. Some homes are made, while others are discovered.

  • Rainy Day New York Thoughts

    Rainy Day New York Thoughts

    I got up at 5:30 this morning, which is normal for a school day, and it was raining. It was the kind of raining that isn’t hard, but steady, and it whispers quietly, yet firmly, that I should go back to bed. I didn’t, but oh lord, did I get close to closing my eyes on the couch as the coffee brewed. The wife didn’t want to get out of bed, and neither did the dog. When I went to wake the kid, it only took her a second to register the sound, and quickly ask if she could also stay in bed.

    We all fought through it. We ate breakfast and dressed, and collected backpacks and a lunch bag. We walked to the subway in rain. We rode to our stop and walked to school in the rain. I ran errands, and did laundry at the local laundromat in the rain. The rain has made my clothes from this morning damp.

    It’s not that cold of a day, but the building’s steam heat is on, and to cool the apartment, we have to crack the windows. That has let the sound of the rain in, as well as a little more dampness. The influence of the rain, the mood of the rain, has creeped into our home, and is begging me to take a nap. Maybe read a book? Then take a nap? I should take a nap…

    As of now, it’s still raining, but it should taper off by the time I have to go get the kid. Walking around the neighborhood of her school, I’ll pass the brownstones with their wet stoops. It will stay cool out, like an early Spring day should, and the feeling of being a little lazy will hang off of everything.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Doing Impressions, AI Algorithms, and I Picked Yale

    ODDS and ENDS: Doing Impressions, AI Algorithms, and I Picked Yale

    (Can’t believe you fake it…)

    I’m not great at it, but I am pretty good at impressions; especially at parties where people have been drinking for several hours. Now, I would like to get better at my impressions. Being that there isn’t a school for it, I’m left to my own devices for study. Currently, I’m working on a Keith Morrison impression which is developing nicely. I need to expand, and I’m thinking that a Warner Herzog will be my next goal. Then I want to go really obscure and have an impression of Bill Hader doing his impression of Al Pacino.

    I wonder if the AI algorithms get together on the dark web and swap notes of how stupid humans are, and why people keep watching the same shows over and over?

    My bracket is doing okay. I picked four games wrong yesterday. I had Clemson beating McNeese, which was the big upset yesterday. But! I had picked Yale to beat Texas A&M. Not that I’m a fan of Yale, and I don’t hate A&M; In fact I have four family members who went there. I had mentioned the other day in my Bracket blog that I always pick the Ivy League team for silly reasons. But this year, I did take a hard look at this game. Would I make the logical choice, and go with A&M, or would I stick to my plan and just make my goofy picks? My family will give me shit for picking Yale, and for many justifiable reasons. But like the McNeese win, it’s fun when the “little guy” defies expectations. Yet, I see the irony of viewing Yale as the “little guy” here. The tournament makes strange bedfellows, I guess…