Category: Life

  • ODDS and ENDS: Ginni Thomas, The Kid has a Cold, and Spring

    Oh, I love it when the curtain is pulled back on “important” people. If you don’t know, Ginni Thomas is the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Ginni Thomas has been playing a role in many conservative issues that have, or are, coming to the SCOTUS docket, as reported by The New Yorker. Then, she started playing a role in helping organize the January 6th rally for Trump, as reported by The New York Times. Now, turns out that she was texting Mark Meadows, Trump’s Chief of Staff, some crazy ass QAnon shit right after the election, according to CBS/The Washington Post. The issue here is if Ginni’s efforts to overturn the 2020 Election have created a conflict of interest for Justice Thomas, when it comes to cases that may come to the Court in regard to the January 6th Commission law suits. That all is very important, and does raise some important questions that should be answered. What I find interesting is that Ginni Thomas, who works in the highest echelons of political advocacy, and who moves in most dignified intellectual circles of D.C, is basically just your crazy-ass conspiracy minded aunt that you have to put up with at the Holidays.

    Yup, the kid has a cold. She is sitting next to me on the couch, drawing and watching tv, while I write this. It almost feels like this is, well, normal. I have this feeling that I want to be outside all the time now. I have started looking up hiking trails further upstate, that are longer and a little more rugged. Not sure that the wife and kid will agree with this, but I’ll see if I can convince them. I kind’a feel like a little kid again when I think about getting out in nature. Like when I was a Cub Scout, learning how to camp, and identify leaves to trees. I guess I’m ready for Spring.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Playing Dumb, Vacation, and The Next Stage of Life

    When I went to pick up my daughter from school yesterday, she was super excited to tell me all about these new Solar System facts she just learned! How the sun is a star, and Venus is the hottest planet, and Jupiter Saturn and Uranus and Neptune were giant gas planets, and Pluto was a dwarf planet, and on and on. She was bubbling over with how cool space was, and how there is an international space station, and that we send robots to the planets and even to a comet! And each new fact that she presented to me was in the form of a question; “Dad, did you know Pluto is a dwarf planet?” Well, yes I do know that, and I was alive when Pluto was considered a normal, regular planet. But I don’t say anything. I just smile and nod my head because I have come full circle. All the years I went rattling off facts to my parents, which I now see they clearly already knew, but they let me proudly prattle on. Now, I am being prattled on, but I see the excitement of learning in my daughter’s eyes. That feeling of the world being knowable and accessible at the same time.

    I want to go on vacation. As it starts to get warmer out, I have this need to get out of the City. It would be great to get away, even for a long three-day weekend. I like living in New York City, but I also love getting the hell out of New York City.

    Another friend of mine lost their parent last night. They put up a post on social media, and I commented, telling them how sorry I am, and love them. Sadly, this has been happening more and more often with my friends, and this isn’t due to Covid. This is life. Me and my friends are hitting middle age, and our parents are reaching the end of their lives. Before, when a parent passed, it was a rare and unexpected occurrence. Now, it is becoming a bit more common, as, sadly, this is the next stage in life. And these things happen in waves. First, we all got married, and then started having babies, and then there was the small divorce wave, followed by more babies and second marriages. Now, we are at the time when on parents start to leave us. I wish there was more I could do or say to my friend at this time. I do remember when my Ma passed, and I received many posts, messages and texts. It meant a lot to me, knowing that people cared and were still decent. I hope my friend is getting some comfort at this time from all the people that care for them.

  • What I Allow to Define Me

    Lately, I started to observe something about myself; When I meet someone new, the question of “What do you do?” comes up, and I say, “I used to be in theatre, and arts administration.”

    Now, I haven’t had an arts admin job in two years, and I haven’t worked in theatre for three and a half years, and though I did use the pass tense, I still use these jobs to define me, to explain who I am. Maybe, subconsciously, I think I’m going back to these fields, but I am no longer sure that I will.

    I am self-conscious of where I find myself now, and I am not sure how to describe it to others. I am a stay at home parent, and I have trouble saying it out loud. Part of it is that I feel like I defaulted into this position, and the other part is that it doesn’t cover the whole picture. I am a stay at home dad because I became unemployed over COVID, and I started taking care of the kid, and her remote schooling because my wife was working remotely and she needed to focus on that. What started as a temporary fix, until I found another job, evolved into where we are today.

    I am happier than I have been in a long time. Sure, I still have stresses and worries about the future, but what I have noticed lately is that I no longer dread getting up in the morning. I don’t hate the day before it begins. I don’t fear going to bed, because what the next day will bring. I see now that I had lived so much of the past ten years like that; angry and frustrated at every place that I worked.

    I do have to take some responsibility here. Yes, the jobs were toxic, but I also made the choice to go to work there, day after day. Maybe I thought I could change the people and places that I worked at. Maybe I thought I couldn’t find a better job. The bottom line is that I actively made the choice, for a long time, not to find a way out.

    The only thing that kept me from imploding was the theatre work that I did over those ten years, and the friends I made from it. And the overwhelming majority of the work was in puppetry. Every time I got a job, I would throw myself into it, just commit and do it. It was rewarding, confirmed the reason I moved to NYC, and also validated my existence, at least on an artistic level.

    And here I am, years removed from both, and still I present these titles to people, as if they are relevant to who I currently am.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Nightmares, Blogging, and Shop Local

    (Some thoughts that don’t involve Tottenham or Alt Side Parking.)

    The kid woke me up at 1am. She had a nightmare, and I tried to get her back to bed, but she was too upset. So, I did what any good father would do, we sat on the couch until we fell asleep watching MST3k. “Mitchell” was on and that calmed everyone down. In the morning, I asked the night what her nightmare was about, and she said that she dreamed she was an artist, and kept failing over and over again to paint a perfect picture. Yikes! I tried to talk to her about how failure is an important part of the creative process as it allows an artist to know what doesn’t work, and to keep trying. I don’t know if it took hold, but I did think she was a little young to be worried about painting a perfect picture.

    I started thinking again about switching to a paid blogsite, and getting away from the free WordPress.com thing that I am on now. I do this every couple of months, and I always get back to asking myself, what is the point? I have written about this on twenty different occasion, if not more, and I can never come up with a persuasive argument for myself, one way or the other. I am continually sitting on the pot over this one. I don’t know how to do what I want to do, which is what I am doing right now, sitting on my couch and writing, and make a living at it. Will a better blog site get me any closer to that goal? Honestly, I don’t think it will. BUT… I do have some free time, and it is something to do. Ahhh… I’ll sit on the pot awhile longer then.

    If you haven’t already, support small local businesses. Help your community not only survive, but thrive.

  • Why is My Eye Twitching?

    My right eye won’t stop twitching. Usually, this is a sign that I am under a great deal of stress. But, I can’t seem to place the epicenter of my stress. I cannot deny the physical occurrence that is continuing to happen to my right eye. I can look in the mirror and see it happen. I know myself well enough that this malady will only appear in times when stress becomes overwhelming. Thus, I must conclude, that I am under a boulder of stress.

    Again, where is it coming from?

    My first reaction is to always look at myself. What have I changed? If anything, I have added more healthy habits who all should have the wonderful side effect of eliminating, if not lessening stress. I am working out four times a week. We, as a family, have started eating healthier, including two vegetarian meals a week. And, my alcohol consumption is only on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

    Then the next question would be; has anything changed recently in my home?

    Yes, the kid has started going to an afterschool program, which was something that we all wanted. She is spending more time with kids. Our home is calmer, with the child being gone for the working hours of the day, which helps the wife focus and work. For me, I am now getting three to four hours a day to work on writing, which makes me feel better about myself, because I am getting to do something I love, and also, makes me feel that I have a purpose outside of my family.

    So, what is it? What is causing this stress?

    Is the stress external? Is it still a result of Covid, and the changes that it brought? The war in Ukraine, and the feeling that everything is teetering on disaster? Global warming?

    Possible, though I have never had stress caused by that before. But, that does make a little sense, such as life at home is good, but outside of the house, it’s all a dumpster fire.