Category: Life

  • The Dance of the Air Conditioners

    When God? When Lord, will we be able to take our air conditioners out of our apartment?

    This is the prayer I say around this time of year. Fall is so tantalizingly close, but still we need our air conditioners. I just want these clunky, environment destroying, comfortability creating machines out of our home! They run up our electricity bill, make the apartment feel unnaturally cool, and block the use of widows.

    Like most people up here in the Northeast, we have a home that doesn’t contain central air conditioning. We have a window unit in the kid’s room, and a stand-alone unit that takes up an awkward position in the living room, like a house guest that won’t leave. Though our apartment is great in winter, as it retains heat very well, this place is an oven in the Summer. No matter how we try to vent and fan this place, the air in here remains warm, and never leaves. In fact, we have a dead zone at the dining table where it will continually stays two to five degrees warmer than the rest of the place.

    Usually around Memorial Day or the first week in June, we head out to storage and pick up our two a/c units. We play the game of, “Will Dad Throw Out His Back,” sometimes accompanied with the question, “Is That a Hernia?” The wife does help me as we do have to carry these units up two flights of stairs. It is a chore no one wants to do, but we know we have to do it to survive the Summer.

    In fact, the wife did her first Summer in the apartment with no a/c. This is before I showed up, so I didn’t experience it, but oh the stories that woman can tell of the heat. Never again will this apartment not have a/c in the Summer, she swore!

    Then around this time of year, mid to late September, after the weather has settled to an average daily high in the mid 70’s, we do the dance again, back to storage with the units. Going down the stairs with heavy objects is much easier and fun. It sort of is like the first activity of Fall for us; next comes apple picking and pumpkin carving.

    The lead up to removing the a/c’s this year has been rather excruciating. See, at the end of August, we took a vacation up to northern Maine, staying in a cabin on the side of a mountain. It was pretty there, as I am sure you can imagine, but what was the most thrilling for us old people was that we had the windows open, day and night, with the breeze coming in. You had to put a sweater on at night. That’s right! A sweater in August, which is a thrill for a guy who grew up in Texas, and the word August is synonymous with 100-degree heat. So, what I am looking forward to is opening up windows and putting on a sweater.

    As I sit here on my couch, with the a/c blowing, I am writing this post while waiting on a cool front to come through. Hopefully, by the end of today, we will have windows open. The sweater might still be a reach, but here’s to hoping.

    (Hey! I see you there. Look, I need a favor. I can’t pay off my bookies until this blog thing starts generating some cash for me. Okay, so what I need you to do is to like this post, or comment on it, or even share it with people you know. Anything to get that algorithm working in my favor. I can get you back on this. Promise.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Tottenham Lost, TNF, and Setbacks to Working

    (Yo Momma Jokes Welcomed!)

    Yeah, I know that Tottenham lost to Sporting CP in the Champions League. I also know that this is the Group Stage, and there is a lot of football left to be played in the tournament. And I know that Spurs were due to lose a match at some point this season. But it was the way that Tottenham lost: two goals at the very end. Now, as is the theme with my football coverage, I know nothing about Sporting CP, but what I do know is that they were the much better team in that match. Tottenham looked tired and conservative. They had some good chances with Royal and Richarlison especially, but again, where was the Son/Kane connection? And Hugo Lloris can only do so much for this team, which gets me back to my original point of that, this team crapped out at the very end. It reminded me of Spurs teams past who were very aggressive in the first half, only to be beaten in the final ten minutes of the match. Yes, it was one match, but the way this team has been playing – finding ways to not lose – might be coming to an end, leading to more losses. The Son/Kane duo is the key, and until they become a treat on the pitch again, this team could start floundering.

    Thursday Night Football – I can’t get over how much it feels like a money grab on the backs of the players. But I like watching Ryan Fitzpatrick. So, I’m torn.

    And then there is the big setback, or maybe it’s an opportunity. We were not selected for the free after-school program at my daughter’s school. It’s a lottery system, so the students selected at random, but we were counting on the kid getting in. For a very simple reason, the after-school program would give me the ability to go and get a job. The kid would be in school from 8:30 to 5:30, and between me and the wife, one of us would be able to drop the kid off, and the other could pick her up. In that situation, I could re-enter the world of full-time employment, and work a normal 9-5. I know I am not the only parent at the school that was counting on their kid getting into this program, as I know many parents are still trying to get back on their feet after Covid, and childcare is still hand to find, and when you do find it, it’s terribly expensive. I’m trying to Zen about the whole thing. For one, I get to spend more time with the kid, which is truly a gift. Second, this could be an opportunity. I don’t know how it’s an opportunity, but I feel that if I keep saying that, over and over again, then I just might manifest an opportunity out of thin air.  Anyway, setbacks are part of life, and we have to find a way to keep moving forward.

    (Hey you! I need your help. I need you to like this blog post. In fact, like it, share it, and leave a comment. If you just read this post, then you know I need a job, so engage with me so I can generate some funds. I promise, it won’t make baby Jesus cry.)

  • Back at the Gym

    Okay, I will say that I have been away from the gym for three months. Somewhere in the middle of June I stopped going to work out. The reasons why I stopped going were a bit complicated: The school year was coming to an end, we had a family vacation coming up that I needed to prep for, and I just didn’t feel like going any more.

    Now, I did go to the gym for at least once a week for five months. As the four of you who read this may know, in all that time, I didn’t lose any weight, nor reap the benefits of working out like better sleep, more focus, positive feelings. I still felt and looked like me, just with more sweat and body order.

    So why go back?

    Because I do know that good things happen when you work out, like living longer and shit. I fell off the bandwagon this summer, but I did take into account that I should eat and drink as much as possible if I stopped going to the gym. I had a “Summer of Ice Cream” if that gives you an idea of how I behaved. But, I do want to spend as much time as possible with my kid and wife, and the easiest way to accomplish that is to work out at least thirty minutes a day for three to four times a week.

    Yeah…

    As you can tell, I was never an “eat your vegetables” kind of guy, but I wanted to make the commitment of going to the gym for a year. I will need to come up with some sort of penance for taking that time off, but I would like to follow through all the way to January 2023, and then see where I am at.

    I know what my problem is. Well, I know what two of my problems are. First, I don’t have a clear goal. I just want to stay alive, but that goal has no bench mark to it other than being able to wake up tomorrow. If I actually said something like, I want to lose twenty pounds, or run a 5k, or fit into my old pants and shirts, then that would mean I would really have to work at it, and not do this kid glove thing. The second problem is that I don’t want to admit that I am getting older. That’s really all this is. I’m middle aged, balding and putting on a classic “Dad Bod” gut. I can only buy so many untucked shirts, and stretchy khaki pants, before I give in to t-shirts and sweats. I never had to worry about this stuff before, and now I have to be concerned about weight, health and shit, which only makes me feel older. (Ahh, the classic self-pity middle aged man. Not just for Updike and Roth novels!) I also know that if I don’t want to feel this way, I should either accept who I am right now, or I should make more of an effort in the gym.

    And I just can’t commit to one or the other.

    So, I’ll keep going to the gym, and hope at some point it will click for me, or metaphorically, I will flip the switch and commit to whatever path.

    I mean, I’m paying for the gym, so I might as well go.

    (And if you would like to commit to something, why not commit to giving my blog a like, or a comment, or even share it with your friends. You know, GAINS!)

  • Post-Covid NYC

    Yesterday, before I was so rudely interrupted, was my first day truly traveling around New York without a mask. Last week, Gov. Hochul ended the mask mandate for public transportation, thus making all of New York City, and State, mask free. Clearly, if you want to put on a mask, you still can, and from my observations, some people still are. Not many, but still enough.

    I ran errands yesterday, and to accomplish this, I needed to ride the subway. I chose to do this without a mask on. I have gone two and a half years of masking up when I took mass transit, cabs, and Ubers, and I wanted to see what my reaction would be non-masked.

    Oh, so long ago, when I got fully vaccinated, I stopped wearing a mask outside. Now, I followed mandate procedures for transportation, and if the business required a mask, I complied. But that first time walking the dog without a mask on felt very weird. I felt exposed, and very vulnerable, even though I knew I wasn’t. It took some time getting used to it.

    This go around, I didn’t feel any of that while I was down on the platform, or riding on the subway. Though I will add that the car on got on didn’t have many people on it, but on the far end was an old guy that kept coughing, which did make me feel a little uneasy. On the whole, it felt rather normal. Yet, I know I wasn’t on a subway at rush hour, and crammed with people. That situation might cause a different reaction from me.

    Covid isn’t over, but it feels like Covid is over. The kid’s school isn’t requiring masks, and we don’t have to do a health screening before class. All of the teachers are without masks, and just a handful of kids come to school with one on. Everything has now moved into the optional realm, so… It’s like we’re done.

    And I agree with that, to a point. From my perspective, all of these mandates and health rules were put in place to keep people healthy and safe, because there wasn’t a vaccine to stop Covid. Now that everyone has access to the vaccine and booster, I don’t see any reason why anyone should be forced to put a mask on, and I also believe in the reverse of that; no one should force someone to take their mask off. It’s personal choice time, do what you want.

    And having said that, I will continue to get my boosters, as will my wife, and as will my daughter. And, I will also continue to look at all the people who told me that masks do nothing, and that Covid wouldn’t be any worse than the flu as the idiots they are. Just because things have gotten better does give your stupidity a pass.

    (You know the drill. If you are enjoying this blog, then be kind and spread the appreciation with a like, a comment or a share. It will make the world a better place.)

  • Masks and Coverings are Optional Now

    You know how, sometimes, your day will start, and you feel quite assured that you know the direction you will be heading. And then something unexpected happens, and you get sent in a whole new direction? I am sure that has happened to you, and today it happened very much to me.

    See, I was heading out to do the grocery shopping, which takes me down to the Trader Joe’s at Columbus and 93rd. It’s the closest one to our apartment in Harlem, and to get there I have to take a downtown local to 96th. I have been doing this for two and a half years now, so I have this route down. I know the best times to hit the stations to catch a train, and the best place to be on the platform to get in a relatively empty car.

    Now, the governor last week lifted the mask mandate on public transportation, so there are no more COVID restrictions in the City. So, when I decided to go run my errand down to the 93rd Trader Joe’s, I thought that this would be a good opportunity to ride the subway mask-less and write about what my experience was like. You know, blog stuff.

    I headed out for my local station. It was a cool morning that was also stupidly humid. I’m talking Miami or Houston at the height of Summer. Like you clothes just stick to you the second you walk out the door. I’m feeling a little gross, but hey, it’s the end of Summer around here. Fall will show up any day now.

    I walk down the staircase from the street to get to the subway station, and there was a guy taking a leak on the stairs. He had no shame. He made eye contact with me and nodded. I don’t think he was drunk or high, just a rough around the edges gentleman who needed to relieve himself. But, being that he had no shame, his penis was on full display.

    Sadly, a guy taking a wiz in NYC is a rather common observed action. It is truly frowned upon by society, but I have a feeling that public urination was a problem for the Dutch, and it will remain a problem for this town going forward. It’s annoying, and people like that guy do make NYC not the best place to live, but I wasn’t about to stop what I was doing to yell at the guy. I had places to be.

    Anyway, I catch the train down to 96th, and get off. And as I am walking down the platform headed toward the stairs, unfortunately, there was a homeless person sleeping on the bench down there, with a granny cart filled with items and clothing. The Mayor is claiming they are cleaning up and helping the homeless that call the subway home, but they really aren’t. I just went along my way up the stairs.

    And at 96th, if you don’t know, it’s a stacked station, meaning that the downtown tracks are on the lowest level. Above them are the uptown tracks with the turnstile entrance and MTA booth. From there you take the stairs up to the street.

    I’m coming up the stairs to the uptown level, and I see lots of clothes spread on the uptown platform. My first thought is that these clothes must belong to the homeless guy sleeping on the bench. But when I get to the top of the stairs, and head for the turnstiles which lead to the MTA booth, and the street level stairs, there’s a naked guy on the other side of the turnstile in front of the MTA booth. And he’s a big naked guy. Taller than me. With his penis hanging out.

    Oh, the guy in the MTA booth was doing a heroic job of saying, “Sir. Sir. Sir!” It was like a Meisner acting exercise, with the “sir” taking on a new inflection every time the MTA guy yelled.

    And for a very fast second I thought, I could make it past this guys. I could squeeze through the turnstile, and avoid this guy touching me. I mean, he was naked, so I knew he wasn’t hiding anything.

    Then New Yorker Matt reappeared. “Yeah, fuck this.” I started to turn to go back down the stairs for the other exit that was further down the platform.

    But before I could get on my way, the naked guy yelled at me, “Could you thrown me my clothes?”

    “No, man.” I said. Honestly, he could easily just jump the turnstile and get his clothes himself. I mean, he was already in trouble, skipping a fare was the least of his concerns.

    So, yeah. I saw a whole lot of penis today. Wasn’t expecting that. And I would like to add, still not the weirdest situation I have been in on the subway.

    (And, you should like this blog post. Also, feel free to share it, and if you have a story about the MTA, please share it in the comments.)