Category: Life

  • Spring Break Broke Me (Unedited)

    I take full responsibility for my actions. Let’s start with that.

    The kid has been on her Spring Break for the past week, and on the whole, I have enjoyed the time we have spent together. The older she gets, the more fun she is to talk to. She very smart and a very opinionated kid, which makes conversations with her enjoyable because she is very passionate in what she believes in. She’s at a fun age when the world is brand new and just waiting for her to explore it. I didn’t try to over schedule her, but we did some fun stuff like spend an afternoon at the Whitney Museum, and we shot some arrows over at Gotham Archery in Brooklyn.

    But I did make a mistake with this Spring Break; I fell out of my routine. This was the kid’s Spring Break, not mine. For some reason, I got it in my head that I was also going to enjoy some “time off.” Unfortunately, this was a miscalculation, as you see, when you are a stay at home parent, you never really get a day off. Your job is to keep the family on track and moving forward. This I lost sight of.

    What I ended up creating in myself was a feeling of anxiety, and the sense that I was letting “everything” fall behind. Everything was taking longer to do, and thus created situations where I wasn’t able to complete the tasks that were important to me; mainly writing and catching up on my reading. But if I took time for myself, then I started feeling guilty, and then those feelings rolled up into a ball angst, as I wasn’t doing enough for my family.

    I chalk this up on bad planning, and too high of aspirations, on my part.

  • ODDS and ENDS: I’m a Failed Drummer, Failed Tottenham, and We Sell Frogurt!

    ODDS and ENDS: I’m a Failed Drummer, Failed Tottenham, and We Sell Frogurt!

    (I thought it was the real thing…)

    I have got drumming on the brain again. I posted about Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” and I can’t get Clem Burke’s drums out of my head. I don’t like hyper-precision drumming, or supper fast and accurate drumming, which is what everyone sounds like now. It sounds lifeless and artificial to me. But Clem; Clem on that song is vital – adding another character to the song – driving, passionate, and accentuating theme of the song. And what I am most thankful for is to be a failed drummer. See, as one who sat behind a drum kit, and tried his hand at playing for a rock band, I learned two things; first is that drumming is a shit ton of fun, and second is that great drumming is exceptionally difficult. It has made me appreciate what great drumming on a song can do, how it can transform a song into something that isn’t just fun to listen to, but can ingrain itself into the core of what a song can make you feel. And just listening to Clem, man, I would kill to be able to play like that.

    Oh it’s bad. I mean, I didn’t think it could get much worse, but it did. Spurs melted like snow on warm ground against Crystal Palace yesterday – it was just awful to watch. Embarrassing is another word that I would use. I know the seasons isn’t over yet, and the odds are still on their side that they WON’T get relegated, but Sonny over at Sonny Talks Spurs has a rather different take than me, but not by much. I have been following the club for ten years now, and I had no idea that that 2016/17 was their high water mark. Ever since then, it has been a slow slide, or car wreck, or train wreck, or growing dumpster fire, what have you… I’m used to supporting a team that lives at the bottom of the barrel (I am a Cubs fan after all) so, seeing a team you love fail isn’t exactly new to me. But this is the first time that I have supported a sports team that gets kicked out of its league because its so bad. Chalk one up for a new experience, I guess.

    For no other reason than it makes me laugh.

  • Museum Day

    I thought that I’d have more time today, but I’m about to head out with the kid to a museum; so, no chance to do a review of a story, or write something profound/witty.

    More tomorrow…

  • Earworm Wednesday: It’s Blondie!

    I woke up this morning and “Heart of Glass” was in my head. And I think I wrote about Blondie and “Heart of Glass” before, but you know what, I think I’m going to do it again.

    I think for most people my age, when you say disco, the Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever are the first things that pop into your head. For me, it’s been “Heart of Glass” since I first head it. Which is funny because me and just about everyone else would never say that Blondie is a disco band – punk and new wave, clearly.

    Then, when I was in my 20’s, the song took on a whole different meaning. Instead of being a silly disco song, I started to appreciate the juxtaposition of the tragedy of loss of the love in the song, with the upbeat infectious driving dance beat. To me, it encapsulates the feeling of monumental life altering infatuation that could evolve into love, but deep down you know its doomed, but these feelings are so intoxicating that you can’t say no to them. You embrace the coming train wreck, though you know better.

    Give me a year, I’ll probably write about this song again.

  • Didn’t See That Coming, Sort’of… (Unedited)

    Israel going off and bombing Iran; not surprised at that. The US going off and bombing Iran; a little surprised. I do use the qualifier “sort’of” because I did read an article last week how the USS Gerald Ford was making its way across the Mediterranean toward Israel. And in that same piece it mentioned that the USS Abraham Lincoln was sitting out in the Arabian Sea. Not that I know a ton about Navy operations, but when I read that two of our aircraft carriers are on the same theater of operation, it does make me pay attention.

    That having been said, I’m rather nervous about this “war.” In a very large sense, that area of the world is rather volatile, and I fear that things could spin out of control with many unforeseen consequences. Mainly being that this could grow into a larger conflict, dominos fall, and we find ourselves in a World War. Unfortunately, other world wars have been started for lesser reasons, like you built a fort on the wrong side of a river, and there was that Archduke thing…

    And yet, like the idiot I am, I have allowed myself to sit in front of the TV and flip between CNN, MS Now, and Fox News seeing if I can gleam something, anything new off of what is going on. To say that each network has a radically different take, I feel, is an easily understood understatement. “We’re all going to die!” or “We might die, but maybe not!” or “Good thing we’re not going to die now.” (I’m sure you can guess which network is saying what…) See, because I can’t trust the internet, and anything that I see on my phone or computer, I just assume is AI slop. In the end, I feel left in a helpless state, not being able to trust anything that is being presented to me as news.

    So where does this leave me?

    Being that I was a pacifist before, it’s pretty easy for me to stay a pacifist now. No to War. No to Bombing. No to killing.

    The worst thing we can do to humanity is to rob ourselves of our humanity.