Blog

  • The Holiday Season

    For me, the whole “Holiday Season” starts with Halloween, then Thanksgiving, Christmas, and ends with New Years. The big four, and now with a kid, they take on a different meaning and purpose.

    But there are the old annoyances, and that would be the car commercials. And I’m talking about the higher end car commercials. With the people waking up Christmas morning with a silver (and they are all silver or white) car parked in the drive way, and being so over whelmed and amazed at this gift. And there is a big red bow on top of the car.

    The two things that annoy me about the commercials, other than the fact that I will never own a luxury car, is how is the car delivered in the driveway whereas the gifted car recipient is unaware that it is there, and two, where do they get the big red bows? Does the car dealership give them out complementary along with the purchase of the car? The dipping sauce to the car’s chicken nugget, so to speak.

    In my mind, I see the story of the wife being confounded, after having purchased the Lexus December to Remember sedan, as she is unable to secure the perfect red bow for the car. “It’s the bow that will tie the gift together for Kevin,” I hear her confessing to her friend on Facetime as she races to another Party City, hoping that they are not sold out of bows.

    But having now done a google search for “big red bow car commercial” I have discovered this site. At least they are made in the USA.

  • No Headphones and Other Thoughts

    I didn’t think I left this morning in a hurry, but clearly, I did. I left so fast that I forgot my headphones. I was forced to not listen to music, but read the news off my phone. I felt defenseless and vulnerable. On my subway ride to work, I had to hope that someone wouldn’t discover my state, and then think that I was a person who was willing to engage in a conversation, or worse share a glance of recognition.

    My headphones allow me to be and not be present at the same time; open for business but the door is locked. I cannot deal with human contact that early in the morning, and I am an expert of being on a crowed train and not touching another person. I live in the most densely packed city in America, existing in tight spaces, but nothing is worse than accidently touching a stranger on public transit.

    This is me is the great paradox of living in NYC; actual contact with other people. The fact that I choose to live here to me is a statement that I like people and I accept diversity, but at the same time, if I don’t know you, don’t touch or bother me. I wouldn’t be the first person to write about living in this City, and there are still times that I feel like that no one has touched on the modern elements of living here. It’s not the same City that I moved into 11 years ago, but somehow still the same.

    Bottom line; don’t forget your headphones.

  • Mid Life Contemplation

    This is not a crisis, but I clearly am at mid-life, and I have been finding myself wondering very often if I am truly doing what I want to do with my life. I have been speaking to my wife about it as well, and she feels in the same boat. Our life is not bad, like all people, it could be better. We are not in some sort of melt down, and I do not feel the urge to buy a sports car. Are there still challenges that we want to accomplish?

    I had drinks with a friend the other day, and we both talked about starting new career paths, and the fear we both had of doing that. That fear of starting over from the bottom, and that we are too old to do that. That is not true, and the fear is not real. If it’s important you find a way, right? You make the sacrifices to make it happen, right?

    I do feel a bit handicapped by being in NYC. In one respect, I feel that all the options are before me, but in the other respect, living in the City is a tight rope walk, and if that income suffers, it throws everything off. (Having written that, I now realize that you could say that about any place.) I moved the NYC to take part in the creative fields, and I can say that over the past 11 years, I have done that. Maybe it’s the work/life balance is out of whack… Too much work and not enough life with the wife and kid.

  • Starts and Stops

    (Ideas that never panned out…)

    I have a semi-normal tradition, which is that I start growing a beard at Thanksgiving. Actually, when my Thanksgiving vacation starts. I keep the beard through New Year’s, when on New Year’s Day, I shave it down to a moustache. That all sounds fun, but my beard is so patchy, that I just have starts and spurts of hair on my face. It’s been like that since the first time I tried to grow a beard, during my Freshman year of college. I kept thinking that as I grew older, it would fill out. Nope, I even remember a show I was in, and two male cast members even had a conversation in the dressing room, about how even time they grow a beard it comes in fuller each time. Yeah… not for me… I’m 40 and I still hope that one day I will my face will grow up into a real man’s face. Like when was 15 and shaving for the first time.

  • Working

    I have never moved beyond that feeling of dread of going to school when it comes to going to work as an adult. I can honestly say that I have been working at my career for the past ten years, and I still have that feeling of dread. That sinking feeling on Sunday night also has never gone away. I’m pretty sure I am not alone on this. Speaking to my mother after she retired, and she also described that feeling of not going to work, even though she worked in the field she loved as a nurse.

    I think it has to do with the transactional status of employment; the work equaling money, that sucks out the desire to be there. I enjoy what I do now, but I have a boss, who is a good boss, and work for an organization, which at the end of the day has my fate in their hands. I show up, do my job, enjoy my coworkers, no real complaints… But I would rather sleep in.

    This also makes me wonder that if I was able to finance my life style through all my creative endeavors, would I begin to feel that dread about having to get up and do it? I do believe that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.