Blog

  • Summer is Coming

    For the first time, in a very long time, I’m actually getting excited for Summer. Usually, Summer in New York means loud window a/c’s, hot/sticky/smelly subway stations, sweating outside and then freezing when you step inside a store. Really, it’s just the oppressive and, honestly, offensive humidity, which blankets the City for two months and sometimes more, that really killed me.

    The heat of New York City was optimized for us, as we got married in 2011, outdoors, on the hottest day of that year, with a temp of 104. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great day, and I wouldn’t change it, as it was a day we will never forget, for multiple reasons. But after that day, my tolerance for heat just went down the toilet. I have been living a decade in dread when June approaches.

    Yet, this year, I’m looking forward to it. I know that this is due to being vaccinated, which is giving us the ability to go forth, mask-less in most situations. The idea of being outside in the heat sounds like freedom to me. The ability to travel, and see friends again; it’s like Christmas morning. I’m looking forward to a car trip. Driving to some faraway place, and getting out of the car and not worrying about being near people.

    Also, this will be the kid’s first real Summer vacation out of school. She might do a day camp, and we have an idea of a small vacation, but on the whole, she will be free to do nothing during the Summer. Splash parks and pools will be visited, and sleeping in late because it’s a Tuesday seem to be in order. It will be fun to live vicariously through her Summer experience, because out of everything that has happened in the school year, at least the Summer will be close to normal for her.

  • To Dare is to Do

    I have written about my current inability to finish reading a book. I start one, start the habit, then something happens, and I get out of the habit. This has everything to do with discipline, and my complete lack of it. Maybe I made the mistake in believing that the Pandemic would give me to opportunity to reset my life, and to create new, better habit, or at least correct things. But unemployment, remote school, and the feeling for the first two months of the pestilence that we were going to die… It made some easy things very difficult to accomplish.

    But the Pandemic is coming to an end and we will start living close to normal lives again. In that spirit, I am giving reading and finishing a book one more shot.

    I pulled down Donald Barthelme’s 60 Stories and started again. “Audere est Facere,” seems to be the idea here. I might fail again. And thus, try again, and sadly, fail again. I know what the right thing to do is, and I just need to keep trying. Everyone gets knocked down, not everyone gets back up.

    Now after having been very dramatic about reading, the other thing is that I do want my daughter to have the habit, the good habit, of reading, and I have to set the example. I have to show her that reading is important, that it’s enjoyable, that it’s the right thing to do. Really, there is my motivation. Just try again.

  • A Friendly Mask-less Walk

    So, I have been walking around the neighborhood without a mask for a little over a week now. I did the thing where I have my mask on but I have pulled it under my chin. It’s like trying to have it both ways; I have a mask on but I don’t. At the start of the week, I just pulled the band-aid off, and went out mask-less, but I do take a mask with me, tucked into my front shirt pocket. (There is always a chance I might have to go in a store or ride a bus, so I keep the mask on me at all time.) There was a bit of nervousness with the act, like I was breaking some social code, like white pants after Labor Day.

    When I walk around, even with the dog, there are a few people that give me a dirty look, but this is New York, so that really is par for the course. Also par for the course is that most people keep looking down, or straight ahead as if you don’t exist.

    But today, as I walked the dog, it was the first day that I noticed that smiles are coming back. And even in some cases a smile with a nod. It’s a small touch of friendly, and it does make the neighborhood feel like a neighborhood again.

  • Unexpected Benefits of the Chore Chart

    I’m not the best at this parenting thing, but I try. One of the things we are trying out on the kid is a chore chart, and earning money. That is supposed to teach responsibility, right? This all started because she wanted to get an LOL Doll. I wasn’t excited about her using her money for that, but that wasn’t the point. She has been diligent, worked hard, and bought the doll. She also has bought ice cream, and ice-y’s in the neighborhood. All was going as expected.

    Then, a few weeks ago, she came to me and wanted to get books about geology. Well, what she asked for were books on rocks and volcanos. We did an Amazon search, and found three books that were geared towards kids. One was $4, another was $8, and the final one was $13.

    It took her little over a week, but she earned the $4, and we got the first book. It was about 20 pages, very much geared to 6-year old’s, and was heavy on pictures of volcanos, and lite on facts other than the most basic. She read it from cover to cover quickly, but what she really wanted was a book that was about different kinds of rocks. That would be the $13 book.

    The kid set her mind to it, and worked the chore chart. She earned $8, and I did ask her if she wanted to get the book of that value. She said no, and kept working toward the $13 book. Not a single complaint came from her, and in under a month, she had the money. We ordered it from Amazon, and it was the longest Two-Day Prime delivery of her life.

    The book arrived on Tuesday, and to say that I have been hearing about rock facts nonstop would be a grave understatement. The book is attached to her, going where she goes, and the kids at the playground are getting some valuable geology lessons from my daughter. The best part, which made my heart swell with joy and bottomless love, is that she is sleeping with her book; snuggling it as best as one can do. Nope, she’s not snuggling a stuffy, or blanket, or an LOL Doll, but a 200+ page rock and mineral field guide. I didn’t see this one coming when we started this chore chart, but I think my kid really loves books.

  • Personal Review: Raiders of the Lost Ark (Part 3)

    This is a series, as I showed this movie to my daughter for the first time over the weekend, and I will share her reactions to it. This might be the last part…

    Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite action movie, in case you missed that from the past two days. Over the past weekend, I showed the movie to my daughter, who is now at the age that I first saw it way back in 1983/84. It clearly is very natural to want to share things with your child that you hold as important, and I also think it’s equally normal for children to want to learn about what their parents think is important. For my daughter to understand me better, she does need to know about Raiders, MST3k, and The Beatles. (Books are a completely different subject, as the kid is just now learning how to read, so we are several years from that subject.)

    As we finished Raiders on Saturday night, and after she told me the melting faces scared her, I knew that she would have questions, as she is a very curious six-year-old. What she asked me was: “What is the Ark? Why does it kill people if you open it? Why did ghosts come out of the Ark? Is it magic like the Infinity Stones? What are the Ten Commandments? Why did the Egyptians hide the Ark?” With these questions, I discovered a very glaring difference between my childhood and my daughters; at her age, I was well versed in Bible stories, and my kid has no idea what is in the Bible.

    I was raised in a VERY Catholic home, and when I was a kid, I went to Sunday school, CCD, and had my own illustrated children’s Bible. I said my prayers with my mother at night, and would even “read” Bible stories from a little red Gideon’s Bible, though I was just repeating stories I had memorized. With this background, when I first saw Raiders, I saw the Biblical implications all over the story. When my daughter watched the movie, none of that was apparent to her. It was just a magic box that you shouldn’t look at when it’s open.

    My wife and I have made a conscious choice to not raise our daughter Catholic. In both of our lives, religion has played a divisive role, didn’t necessarily prepare us for living in this world, and front loaded us with so much guilt, which we are still working through. For me, I really dislike how the Catholic Church, and most religions honestly, treat women, and I don’t want to raise my daughter in a faith tradition that makes her a second-class citizen in the eyes of God.

    I wasn’t expecting that religion would be the final conversation I would have with my kid after watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I am glad that it happened. I am happy that we started talking about what different people believe, we talked about the traditions and history of Judaism, and what the Old Testament and the New Testament are. I want her to make her own decisions when it comes to religion, and they only way for that to happen is for her to ask questions.