Blog

  • Nothing Changes, Except the Names

    I have been pretty pissed off for the past two days. And now, as well. The shooting in Uvalde, Texas has been on my mind, as I know it has been for just about all of us. I grew up in Texas. I spent one Summer in San Antonio, and so I knew where Uvalde was. I knew it was a small west Texas town, in all the good ways that a town could be small, and in west Texas. When I heard where the shooting had taken place, I knew, heartbreakingly knew, that everyone in that town knew everyone who had been killed.

    And as a parent, with a child about the age of the kids who were murdered, my soul is just wounded for the parent in Uvalde. I drop my kid off every morning. I hold her hand as we cross the street, and kiss the top of her head as she walks away from me to get in line for class. And I stand there watching her walk into school. And yes, the dark, evil, depressing thought does cross my mind that this might be the last time I see her.

    I don’t have that thought because of Uvalde. I have had that thought since I first started dropping her off at school, over a year ago, because I live in America.

    I could use logic to point out the odds of a school shooting, or the likelihood that my daughter would even be involved in one. I could use logic and be rational, and come up with a well-reasoned argument for or against gun control.

    But I’m tired of that.

    I’m tired of all of it.

    I’m tired of nothing changing.

    I wish I was a better writer, because a really good one summed up how I am feeling. Roxane Gay touched on how after these tragedies, there is a call for civility, but she is right; who is served by the people being civil in an uncivil situation?

    This is what I think we should do; read their names. When you get in an argument over guns, take out your phone, find them, and then read their names. Don’t make this an abstract discussion, make it personal. Read the kid’s names and their ages.

    No screaming, or yelling, but forcefully; read the kid’s names. Interrupt them if you have to, but keep reading the names.

    Read the names.

  • Short Story Review: “Invisible Bird” by Claire-Louise Bennett

    (The short story “Invisible Bird” by Claire-Louise Bennett appeared in the May 30th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    (Odds are there are SPOILERS!)

    Well… I’m not sure what to make of “Invisible Bird” by Claire-Louise Bennett. I have had this happen to me several times of late, when reading a short story from a magazine; I finish reading it, I don’t dislike it, but my gut tells me that I am missing something. Like, if I wouldn’t have missed that one day in my senior English class, then I would totally understand this story. Or, being that I didn’t get an MFA in creative writing, that’s why this story doesn’t work for me. That might be true, but I hope it isn’t. In these reviews, I try to read each story as is, and don’t read up on the author, or research anything the author has to said about the story. This way I enter the story with a clean slate, tabula rasa so to speak, and go with what my gut tells me.

    My gut tells me I’m missing something.

    The story is about a girl who recently finishes her degree in London, but being that she is behind on her rent, is politely booted from her flat, and is forced to move back home. Then, her and her boyfriend, after he sells his car, go to Dublin, only to find themselves homeless and scrounging to survive. They live on the streets for a time, make some unsavory friends, beg, work jobs that steal from them, but still earn enough money to rent an apartment. They build a home in the apartment, and the girl starts to write, the boy moves back to England, while she stays in Dublin. The End…

    The story is pretty straight forward, like the description I gave, and I was entertained by it. But what I didn’t get was how to feel toward the girl. Essentially, her and her boyfriend are, for lack of a better term, are “slumming it.” They are tourists. They are college educated young people, who choose to be homeless. The girls describes their experiences in a light, almost, fun way. I kept rereading to see if there was a hint of irony, or sarcasm, or even satire, but I couldn’t find it. The story felt like it was presenting the girl, and all of these events as straight. And if that is true, then why did this girl want to be homeless? (I have worked in a shelter, and being homeless is scary and tough as shit. I have never met anyone who wanted that life.)  So, what am I not getting here?

    It felt too easy for the girl, and too succinct. It made me wonder if this was an excerpt from a novel, or a much longer story that was pared down. It’s not bad. Just, it felt like something was off.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • What Solves All the Problems?

    The kid was mad as hell at me yesterday. The reason for her anger was that I wouldn’t allow her to take a toy to school. She had been told over the weekend that she couldn’t do it, but when Monday morning rolled around, she tried again, only to get the same result from her parents; no.

    And she was so angry. She wouldn’t hold my hand crossing the street and she wouldn’t talk to me as we walked to school. I know she wanted to say something to me, to make me feel bad, but I want to say that she knew if she said something mean, it would only make the situation worse.

    I could be wrong.

    When I picked her up from school, she was a little happy to see me. She smiled when she saw me walking up, and then, as if she reminded herself that she was mad at me, she dropped her smile and gave a very dramatic frown. I asked how her day was, and she said it was just okay, that nothing happened. I took her to the local playground so she could run around for a bit, and maybe being with her friends would put her in a better mood. Not so much.

    When we got home she disappeared in her room, and when she emerged for dinner, she seemed a still had the frown. She was clearly hungry as she cleaned her plate, and in our house, a clean plate means you get a little treat. We had bought ice cream over the weekend due to the heatwave, so it seem appropriate that she could have a little ice cream.

    And that was the magic that broke the spell. A little cookies and cream retuned our silly talkative kid to us. Yes, again, ice cream comes to the rescue and solves all the problems. It really does when it comes to kids. I am sure that there is something to be said that you shouldn’t teach kids to equate happiness with food, or something like that, but damn, ice cream always seems to work when you want to put someone in a better mood. I know it works for me. If life sucks, just eat some ice cream.

    There is no deep message here, or a revolutionary revelation. Just… eat more ice cream.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • Yes, Another Tottenham Blog

    Technically, the season is over, and I should stop talking about Tottenham until the season starts up again in August, right?

    Before I do that, I wanted to share the strange feeling I had when my optimistic wishes came true. I think it’s called confirmed happiness. Going into Sunday, all Tottenham had to do was win or tie against Norwich, and lowly Norwich was at the very bottom of the table, already destined to be relegated. So, the bar wasn’t very high. But still, at the end of the season, crazy shit can happen, and great teams can lose in spectacular fashion.

    And that’s not what happened. Spurs won 0-5, with two goals from Kulusevski, one from Kane, and two from Son Heung-min, and that second goal from Son tied him with Mo Salah for the Golden Boot, the top goal scored in the Premier League. Most importantly, Tottenham finished in fourth place, which qualified them for the Champions League next season.

    Now, we all go into the offseason happy and excited for next season.

    Except I won’t. Though their manager, Conte, has a contract through the end of next season, he has not committed to returning in the Fall unless Spurs owners can all agree on Conte’s vision for the team. I am sure that means signing Kane, spending the money to bring in experienced players, and I just read a rumor that they might attempt to get Erikson from Bretford. (Personally, Tottenham was playing their best when Erikson was on the pitch a couple of seasons ago.) This is the moment that the owners can show if they are serious about winning trophies.

    Yet, the most amazing aspect of all of this, for me, is the fact I have started giving a shit about what happens to a team in the off season. I have never been like this. When the season ends with a team; I’m done. And I really don’t think about them again until training camp, or spring training or whatever. I have been that way with the Cubs, and Cowboys, and even when I was really in on the Stars – didn’t care about the off season. Whoever showed up at the first game of the season was the team I supported, and I didn’t care how they got there.

    Now, I want to know how all of these moves will play out, so I can figure out if I’m going to have a good next season or not.

    I think I’m becoming a full-blown supporter now. I might need to find the local Tottenham bar for next season.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Tottenham One Last Time, Sarah Sherman is Damn Funny, and Naps

    (things happen, and i talk about it)

    It’s the end of the Premiere League season, and yes, it does actually come down to the final matches. Lucky for me and the Tottenham loyal, with Arsenal’s loss to Newcastle, Spurs are sitting in the driver seat of their own destiny. All Tottenham has to do is win or tie against Norwich on Sunday. Lowly Norwich is at the very bottom of the table, doom to be relegated back to the Championship League. This would imply that Spurs should have this in the bag, and I for one, totally do not believe that. If sports have taught me anything, it’s that the last placed team can play like champions on the last game of the season. But if for some reason Tottenham does win or tie on Sunday, then I am quite positive that Harry Kane and Conte will both be receiving huge contracts in the off season. And I have never been wrong about this team.

    Sarah Sherman is my favorite new person on Saturday Night Live. I only found out about her last September when SNL announced its new cast, and as a lark, I looked her up. Sarah Sherman also goes by Sarah Squirm, which I started following on Instagram, and I have been enthralled with her. She’s weird and quirky, and funny, and has this whole sense of style that is unlike anyone. Her work on SNL this season has been a complete standout, and she carries herself like she’s been on the show for years. Go hunt her out, and pay attention.

    I’m going to take a nap.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)