Blog

  • Busy Day Ahead

    I am in a hurry today. I was up at the normal time and turned the coffee maker on. I got the wife up and then the kid. Made the kid breakfast, packed her lunch. The wife got clothes out for the kid and helped her get dressed. Me and the kid brushed teeth together, put on shoes and we headed out for the school drop off with the permission slip for the upcoming field trip. I got her to school on time; said hello to her teacher and some of the other parents. Said my goodbyes and returned home. Then I made a meal plan for the week, and made a grocery shopping list. Then I balanced our check book, moved some money around, updated all of our bills to make sure everything was getting paid on time. I still need to shower and head out to Trader Joe’s before the old people and the young professionals pick over the store. Then I need to put the groceries away, make lunch for me and the wife, and then head back to school for the pickup. Hopefully the kid will want to go to the local park and play with her friends which will give me an hour or two hours to read, and write in my journal. Then home, play with the kid, make dinner, watch tv together, and then make the kid take a shower. Then that leaves snuggle and story time, with the kid hopefully going right off to sleep. Which will allow me to clean up the kitchen, and get the coffee ready for the morning. Then the wife and I will get an hour to catch up and fall asleep watching something on tv. And that’s pretty much my day.

    But before I head out to the store, I need to give myself a few minutes to write this blog thing.

    And all in all, most days, I’m pretty happy with this. Some days I do wonder if I am missing out, or I wonder if I could be doing more in the world. And then there are days where I am really terrible at this stay at home dad thing.

    This is where I am and I am happy. I know this because I don’t dread waking up in the morning.

    Okay, off to the store. Maybe there will be a Tottenham blog later in the day. We’ll see.

    (AND, please be kind and rewind and also take a moment to give a like, share, comment, or the greatest gesture of all, follow this blog. Please, it would mean a lot to me because I don’t want to start making TikTok videos.)

  • The Reason Why I Am Edgy This Week

    I had mentioned in my post on Friday that my family and I were going out this weekend for some apple picking, and I had joked about how silly the act of picking apples was, but deep down I really enjoy doing it. The place we went was Apple Dave’s Orchards in Warwick, NY, and we’ve gone there for several years and have always had a really enjoyable time. I recommend you head out there, and get the apple cider donuts while you’re at it.

    And after the apple picking, we ran a few errands in New Jersey before we headed home to Harlem. While we were running these errands, I felt myself getting edgy. I didn’t have an outbursts, or get mad at anyone, but I could feel this slight level of annoyance building in me. I know myself well enough to know that I needed to remind myself to relax, and not take anything serious.

    But for the rest of the weekend, this feeling of frustration never left me. It was also a feeling of stress and anxiety. My shoulders ached. I got a canker sore in my mouth. I had trouble sleeping. I was feeling like I was falling apart, but I could think why? I’m having the normal stresses in life, such as nothing has changed recently. We are plugging away, trying to get ahead like we have been trying for the past two years. Life’s normal.

    As I was taking our laundry to the laundromat this morning, I started thinking about my weekend, and how I might want to write a blog about apple picking. I took some pictures of our apple adventure on Saturday, and thought I might want to use them in the blog, which reminded me of the first time we went out to Dave’s Orchards with my parents, who had come to visit us in the fall of 2017. And the reason we go back to Dave’s every year because it is a place that we have fond memories with my mother, who passed away four years ago on October 14th.

    And then I knew.

    I had forgotten about the anniversary of my mother’s death. Well… consciously I had, but not sub-consciously.

    I know that my mother is dead. It’s not like I forgot that. I am at the point now that I can talk about my mother without an issue. I can even talk about her death and the awfulness of losing her. What does get to me is thinking about the things Ma isn’t here for; birthdays, holidays, and a simple phone call. It breaks my heart not being able to share things with her. Whether she wanted it or not, I did talk a lot to her.

    It will be a tough week, and I’ll be subdued while just feeling sad. It’s not like I won’t be able to function this week, or that I will be angry or something. What it’s like is having a blanket of melancholy around me, and all events will be filter through that feeling. And that will be manageable.

    I just miss my mom, still. That’s all.

    (Hey. Thanks for taking a second to read this. If you could, please take a moment to give a like, share, or comment, and follows are always welcomed.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Apple Picking, I Like Teams that Frustrate Me, and Halloween Costumes

    (By Mennen!)

    It’s Fall, which means apple picking. This is the one stupid Autumn tradition we have that I cannot quit. It’s… it’s just dumb. We go to a farm and pay the farmer to go out and harvest his crop for him. It feels like such a con, but damn do I love doing it. And we do take it too seriously. We’ll get up at the crack of dawn and drive way out to a farm in upstate New York, so we can be the first people there. And we’re gun’na buy a pumpkin too, maybe pickles as well, because I think we did that last time. The dog will be with us, and we’ll wander around the orchard, picking, then sampling apples, and if they don’t meet our standards, we’ll toss the half-eaten fruit on the ground, like some inconsiderate Patrician. Then for a week afterward, we’ll find a way to work apples into every meal. But the wife will make a really great apple pie, so that does make it worth it. It is a little bit of a cliché thing to do, but aren’t stupid traditions the ones we love the most?

    Oh, I sure know how to pick sports teams that end up confounding and frustrating me. I will say this, Tottenham accomplished the bare minimum in their Champions League Group match against Frankfurt – They didn’t lose. At the half way point in the group stage matches, Spurs are in second place with four points, so they are not out of the woods, and could still blow this. And that is the thing with this team – they still don’t seem to have found their groove. The Kane/Son duo still hasn’t shown up this season, and I think without that threat up front, it gives opponents the confidence to try added pressure against Tottenham’s back line, especially in the final ten minutes. And this Saturday will be another test against upstart Brighton, who is in fourth place behind Tottenham in the Premiere League. With only a month left to go before the World Cup break in November, Conte has to get this club into some cohesive championship form. The goal this season wasn’t to just be good, it was to win trophies.

    And, I spent two hours this morning searching and ordering a Hermione Granger costume for my daughter. Not that tie and robes boarding school stuff, no sir! She wants a very specific version of Hermione from a certain scene from a movie. I didn’t mean to, but I think I am teaching my daughter how to Cosplay.

    (Don’t forget! If you are enjoying this blog, please be kind and give a like, share, comment, or even start following! It would help my case to the wife why I need to stay in my pajamas on the sofa all morning writing this stuff.)

  • I Hit a Wall Today (Unedited)

    I’m throwing in the towel for today. I have been at it for about three hours now, I have been unable to string together a 300 to 500-word blog for today. I could say that some factors came into play today, but I have overcome tough and hectic days before.

    So, I call quits, and will do the half assed, “I don’t know what to write blog.”

    I was looking up the war in Ukraine earlier, but I don’t feel like I have an insight on that. It’s all awful, and also seems like Ukraine is sticking it to Putin now.

    But, I don’t want to get into news or politics, and I was thinking about.

    What I wanted to say was something about how the start of “Planet Telex” is a really great opening.

    Then I wanted to add that when I saw “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” I didn’t think it was that great of a movie, but I was on a pretty awful double date at the time, so now looking back at it, I think that situation might have unfairly jaded my opinion of the movie.

    Then, I read the pilot script to “Cheers” this morning, and to be honest, it wasn’t that great of a script. Kind’a surprised that it got made.

    And I need to get the kid’s Halloween costume put together.

    Anyway… this is a bit of a cop out, I admit it, but I did show up today.

    (Look, I ask the end of every blog for you to like, follow, comment, or subscribe to this blog. But, hey, let’s be honest. Today wasn’t the best. Check out the older ones, and like those.)

  • Short Story Review: “Shelter” by Nicole Krauss

    (The short story “Shelter” by Nicole Krauss appeared in the October 3rd, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    (Photograph by Elinor Carucci for The New Yorker)

    What are the two biggest cliché subjects in literature? Boys at boarding school, and middle aged men dealing with middle age. It once used to be like you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting one of these novels at a bookstore, but it now does feel like things are beginning to change. I mean, I get it. Long ago, the only people who would get published and did the publishing were middle aged men who all went to boarding school, so they produced what related to them.

    When I started reading “Shelter” by Nicole Krauss, and it dawned on me that our main character was a middle-aged man, dealing with being a middle aged man, I did get a little nervous. Was this about to be a story about a dopey, middle aged man that grasps for some meaning and purpose to his life, as per the cliché? The bad news is that the main character is that cliché, but the good news is that Nicole Krauss taps into an emotional base that gives an authenticity to that character.

    The story is that Cohen, our middle-aged man from New York, is in Tel Aviv for a business trip. There is a pregnant woman across the hall in the building where his AirBnB is, and we know that these two characters will become interconnected. For Cohen, who is dealing with his feelings of uselessness in his job and marriage, he has been self-medicating with different drugs, which have led to different levels of effectiveness, but end up costing him his bag which is stolen while on the beach during in a euphoric haze. Waiting back at the building for a new set of keys, the neighbor goes into labor, and Cohen helps out, thus finding a purpose. And then more stuff happens.

    While reading this story, I never had a doubt where it was going, and it did land where I thought it would. But, I found Krauss’ insights into Cohen’s motivations, thoughts, and his feelings while high, resonated with me. Even in a respect, I identified with Cohen a little. The feeling of being useless, and having lived enough of a life to know that you used to be useful, but somehow can’t figure out how to get back there. How being comfortable, which seemed to be the goal, actually is the thing that killed one’s ambition. The story stayed light, even comical, but still had an emotional weight to it. A nice feat of writing, I might add.

    I really like stories like this. It made me rethink that cliché that I had written off as meaningless.

    (Furthermore, if this blog spurred an inkling of enjoyment, even mirth, then if I may request that you reciprocate with a like, share, comment, or by-golly, start following it. That would bring a genuine smile to a face that might be mine.)