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  • Short Story Review: “ProCess” by Abigail E. Myers

    (The short story “ProCess” by Abigail E. Myers appeared on September 26th, 2023 in Rejection Letters.)

    image: MM Kaufman

    I remember how when I was a kid, I was told in school that technology, someday, would solve all our problems, thus making the world a better and perfect place. My dad, when he was a kid in the 50’s, was told how there would be flying cars in 1980. Yeah, that never happened, but we sure did get loads of new tech which has changed the world – just no flying cars. Sometimes I think the real role of technology is to create new problems while solving old problems. The things that annoy us, will still annoy us, just not as much.

    I feel that was the starting point with “ProCess” by Abigail E. Myers, a tight, efficient and humorous flash fiction piece in the form of a rejection letter. The rejection letter is from the App Store, informing the developer that their new app, “ProCess: The App for Funeral Processions” will not be accepted, with a suggestion of next steps for the developer.

    What I enjoyed most with Myer’s piece was its full commitment to the flash form. Yes, the work is short, but this isn’t a short-short story; This isn’t an uber-condensed form of a hero cycle, or a quick character study. This is flash fiction in the form I like to see; quirky, unconventional, but a story that still moves from a starting point to an ending point, firmly rooted in honesty.

    The quirkiness is apparent by this app for funeral processions, and it’s unconventional in the form of a rejection letter, but what I was most impressed with was how Myer’s moved the story forward. The building and movement of the piece is accomplished in the three bullet points which use syntax and formatting of the text to accomplish this goal. The first point is formatted normally with no additions, but in the second point, italicized letters are used to highlight the developers thoughts. By the third point, the italicized and normal formatting seems to have been reversed, implying an urgency and irratition toward the situation. It’s an effective choice that I didn’t notice on my first reading, but I felt its implication immediately. It causes the narrative to move towards a conclusion, which is the app store stating, “all must yield.”

    I admit that I am thinking very hard about a very short flash fiction piece. Yet, when someone accomplish the feat of executing a very good story, in what I think is a great example of what makes flash fiction an original form of literature, it should be applauded. “ProCess” makes its point on how some situations cannot be avoided, even with technology, and that’s just life. A complete, honest thought, that rings true.

  • Soup Season

    (I’m going to sound like a very old man, and I don’t care.)

    Autumn for some people means sweaters. Others, it’s Halloween. For the annoying, it’s pumpkin spice in everything. Cooler weather, leaves changing, sports on a weekend afternoon – all that stuff – you know, Fall. And for me, it is the start of soup season; I’m talking homemade soups. The cooler the weather, and the cloudier the day, all the better.

    First is just making the stock, which most of the time coincides with the leftover bones from a roasted chicken. If I have time, I’ll do the stock pot on the stove, but most of the time I have to use the Instant Pot. In about 2 hours, or less, I can have 10 cups of deep golden broth, but the best part is the warm, homey smell that fills my home as it’s cooking.

    Actually, I take that back. The best part is that my kid gets in on the action of making stock. We have done it enough times, that she’s got the recipe down and, with some guidance using a knife, can throw the whole thing together all by herself. That’s pretty cool, as a parent.

    This year, I chose to kick off soup season with a simple and hearty recipe – Potato Leek. I go with this recipe from Robert Irvine, as it is pretty simple and fool proof. I can say that there are more flavorful recipes out there, but they are rather involved, and some nights you just want to eat sooner than later.

    Besides, in my theory of soup making, soup should be simple.

    I do cook often for my family now, and I have some pretty good go-to recipes that I can now make off the top of my head. But there is something about making a good soup, or stew, for my family on a cold evening that is deeply satisfying. More so than any other meal I prepare. It does feel a little like kitchen magic; putting the ingredients in a pot, letting it boil to create something new. Then more ingredients, and simmering, and more time. Maybe it’s the amount of effort that goes into it – maybe. It could be that the meal is basic, and simple. A simple act that takes a long time. Maybe.

  • Only a Minute for a Blog (Unedited)

    I just can’t on a rainy day. And it’s been raining for three days, and odds are that we will get a fourth. I would give anything to curl up on the couch and read for the rest of the day… But not in the cards. I will keep drinking coffee, though.

    I only have a minute to squeeze in a blog today, and this is that minute.

    And with this fast minute, I will tell you that the guys working on the condo towner behind my building are working in the rain. No one looks like they are in a good mood, but come to think of it, I don’t believe I have ever seen a person working at a construction site who looks happy.

    But the construction worker’s life and cranes keep beeping non-stop. It’s like they are perpetually backing up forever. We aren’t getting the sounds of saws, or hammering, or screw guns; nope, it’s eight hours of back up beeps. Like an audio torture. I can only wonder how long this can go on for, but I know that all things must end.

    Thus, the day I am forced with. Mondays are always challenging being that it is the start of the week, and if there was a day to set the tone for the week – then that is Monday. It is rainy, cold, gray, and beeping. In nine minutes, I have to take lunch out of the over, and feed myself and my wife. This is meatless Monday, as prescribed by our daughter, and we will be enjoying black bean taquitos from Trader Joe’s. And if I might add, this is also fiction-less Mondays as well. I normally don’t get a chance to write fiction on Mondays. I keep feeling this is a situation that I could correct, but I haven’t been able to for over a year.

    Sadly, have to go. More later…

  • ODDS and ENDS: Feeding My Family, North London Derby, and David Brooks Didn’t Want to Catch His Flight

    (So remember… How amazingly unlikely is your birth;)

    I’m a stay at home dad; a primary care giver to my daughter and wife. It was a job that I was asking for, but now that I have accepted it, I do enjoy it. There is one aspect of this position that I am still surprised by, and that is the amount of time I now spend thinking about meals for my family. I have enjoyed cooking since back in my college days. My roommate and best friend got me a wok for a birthday gift one year, and that honestly was one of the best gifts I ever received. Not only did I enjoy cooking with that wok, but it also started me on a food journey. Furthermore, I was very lucky that my wife is a trained chef and pastry chef as well – which is like winning the lottery, if you’re wondering. She has been a great inspiration and guide for me as I discover and try new foods and preparations. Though I do the majority of cooking, she can still drop in the kitchen and knock it out of the park when she feels inspired. Anyway… Most days I do triple duty by making breakfast, lunch and dinner, and as such I try hard not to repeat flavors and textures in a day, or even following days. Most of the time it feels like a Tetris puzzle that I have to fit tightly together, appeasing all pallets. It can be challenging, but the reward of keeping the people I love feed is deeply satisfying.

    You better believe that I am going to write about Tottenham Hotspur! This Sunday is the North London Derby – Arsenal vs Tottenham. Yup, Arsenal will be the first true test for Tottenham’s manager, Ange Postecoglou, to prove he has turned this team around. In Spurs first six matches, they have only played one team that is in the top half of the table. Also, they are giving up an average of one goal a game, so this is a team that, on paper, hasn’t played stellar football. That’s where Arsenal comes in, as this will be a game on the road for Tottenham in the very unfriendly Emirates Stadium. If you wanted to have a statement match, this is it. I do like what Postecoglou has done by making this team more aggressive, and controlling the ball. Madison has been a great addition in the midfield creating many great passing opportunities for Son, Solomon and Kulusevski. Also, Richarlison finally scored a goal last week, which hopefully was his coming out, and will get him more chances up front. But the defense is what makes me worried. Arsenal doesn’t let up, and they clearly are gunning to dominate the League and give City a run for the title. Lots is a the line, which will probably make the match a chippy one!

    Did you catch David Brooks Tweet the day before? It’s more silly and tone deaf than anything – but the gist of it is that he was trying to make a correlation between his “expensive” $78 lunch at Newark Airport and America’s inflation issues. But if you look closely at the picture, you can see that there is a glass of scotch/whiskey/bourbon(?) which is the main reason why his $78 lunch was $78. Some internet sleuths were able to find out that the burger and fries was a combo meal costing $17, and that a top shelf drink was close to $25, which logically would mean that David had two drinks. Two drinks in the afternoon before a flight? See, my question here isn’t about Brook’s fake outrage over his costly lunch, but what’s on the other end of that flight that he isn’t eager to deal with?

  • Post #1001

    Yesterday, I wrote my 1,000th blog post.

    When I started posting way back in 2017, I was a new father who was working a very stressful job, and I needed a creative outlet of some sort to keep me sane, and also to make me feel like I wasn’t giving up on me. The goal way back then was to write 250 words about a subject; any subject would do, just as long as I wrote 250 words.

    In that first year, I did a grand total of 11 posts.

    Followed by 105 posts in 2018.

    Then I backslid in 2019 with 67.

    But I came back in 2020 with 143 post. Sure, COVID and being unemployed played a big part in my increase in output.

    All in all, I have written 339,000+ words for this blog, and I have kept my sanity by being able to accomplish something each day. I like to think I am being creative still, and clearly a good number of you come by to read the short story reviews, which I appreciate.

    I also appreciate the solid core of early followers; all five of you – two of whom I do know personally – who took the time to read and like what I was doing.

    I didn’t know what I was doing when I started; I still don’t know what I’m doing, and I probably won’t know what I am doing when all is said and done.

    I am also aware that virtually no one will read this, and most likely I’m just talking to myself here. For that matter, I should rewrite my bio, and do a site redesign… I need new pictures, too.

    I don’t say this enough, but you should “like” my blog, and follow it. Also, you should leave comments, and click on the ads.

    While we’re at it, someone should offer me a job – writing reviews or editing at journal. To be honest, someone should publish my stories and offer me a book deal.

    But for the time being, I’m going back to reading some flash fiction (I’m really enjoying SmokeLong Quarterly currently) and crank out some new pieces.