Author: Matthew Groff

The end of last week, I started rehearsing for another show, and I have been looking forward to working on this production for the past four months. Counting down the days. The best part of this show is that I am working with all of my friends, so rehearsal does feel a little like hanging out. Some of these people I have been working with for 15 years, so we have gone from high energy of our 20’s to mellow confidence of our 40’s.

As I have spent my time in New York, I have come to several understandings about me and theatre. The first of which is that I love rehearsing; it is my favorite part. An audience and performance are pretty awesome, don’t get me wrong. Oh, but to be in a company of players, is there nothing better? Making new friends, or reacquainting old friendships, learning to work together, watching something abstract become physical and real, and working as a team for a goal.

I have also learned how I like to work. I like being early in the space, and taking my time to get ready. I can’t walk in the door and just do it. I need to allow myself to get in the mindset, and in a sense, get my game face on. Focus might be the better way to describe it. Also, I’m an observer and I have to take everything internal first, digest it, before I know what I want to do.

Either way, I have three wonderful weeks of hard work ahead of me, surrounded by my friends.

A long time ago, I used to work at a theatre school. It was a very small company, and everyone wore many hats. On the first day of classes, the faculty would give new students a tour of the classrooms and the studios. Though I wasn’t a member of the faculty, I offered to give tours, and to my surprise, they directors agreed.

I wanted to do it for two main reasons; I wanted to see how funny I could be to a bunch of 18 year olds, and two, I remember how nervous I was on the first day of college and I wanted to help everybody relax.

The staff had a script for the tour, but I never referred to it, except to pick one kid to read the section which suggested that the tour guide should work into the conversation that it is expected for the students to shower each day. (When a student read that out loud, it usually got a nervous laugh, and I would follow up with saying, “Please, don’t stink.”)

The theme of my tour was, “Don’t be a dick.” Such as be respectful to each other, don’t be a dick. The studio spaces are rented by professional theatre companies, so don’t be a dick around them, coz you might have to audition for them, and they’ll remember you were that dick student. By the end of my short tour, I had the students finishing the punchline as I set up the joke, “Don’t be a dick.”

I thought it was sage theatre advice. In fact, good advice all around.

I work down in the Financial District, though I am not in finance, for about a year now. There are some really neat parts about working down here, and for me, I really do like being in the part of the City that used to be to Old Dutch Colony. The narrow streets that all seem to curve to the east, and how this part of the city is was paved over the hills, and wasn’t leveled.

The odd thing about working down here is that I don’t seem the same people each day.

I have worked in different parts of the City, and if you consistently get to work at the same time, after enough time you start seeing the same people, day in day out.

Today, this thought entered my head. I guess so many people all come down here to work, and the masses just all seem to blend together.

The only people I recognize is the crew at the Starbucks that go to each morning. Only recently have they started to acknowledge me as a regular. And that also be the thing about working down here; the only consistency happens to be the shops you visit.

Most mornings as I head down the narrow old streets with the tall buildings, I think about how much has changed in 400 years of colonization of this narrow sliver of land.

I have been thinking about the education that I received in theatre, and the reality of the theatre would that I work in New York. This will sound cynical, but I feel this is true; Theatre in New York City is about capitalism, and that is what makes it an American art form. There is no shame in that, and to be honest I don’t even see that there is anything wrong with identifying it as such. In America, if you don’t make money off of it, then it is not successful.

What I feel is that a huge disservice is being committed comes to theatre education, especially at the university level, as very few schools teach this lesson. What my school, and what most others teach is that theatre is an art form, and through the example of a liberal education, only exploration and synthesis of the art form is emphasized.

Now I know that most educators don’t want to go down this road of a capitalistic approach, as that would mean that theatre education would become nothing more than a trade school with costumes. But, I fear that it is too late for that. Every school I know touts the people who have made it to Broadway, or television or the movies, as the success stories to their program. I fell that the theatre education world is wanting to have it both ways; we are art that can create personal financial wealth for you.

I have never really fit into a traditional role. I have viewed marriage as a partnership, as well as child rearing. I have no issue with my wife earning more money than me. I do not feel bound by any convention of what I should be, and I love that my wife is ambitious and successful.

And we have been thinking of ways to get the family budget down, and what would be best for the kid. And we have been kicking around the idea that I could be a stay at home dad until the kid gets to school age. It is an idea that I welcome.

I have no illusion that this would be a great commitment, and not easy in any way. It will be work. There will be little free time, and I will continue to have to find the time to follow my creative projects.

What I would gain out of it is getting to have that time with the kid. I already have the melancholy/bittersweet sinking feeling in my stomach watching her get bigger and form her own personality. I feel it all going by so quickly, and I really don’t want to miss any of it. But… but… I know that this is a losing battle. She will grow up, and I have to learn to step aside.