Author: Matthew Groff

  • Texas! Please Put a Mask On!

    I grew up in Texas, and I really don’t understand that state anymore. I think about how it was a good place to grow up, and I would describe the Texas of those years as a place that was common sense Democrat. Now, I can’t recognize any of that in Texas anymore.

    For me, it all started with the election of Ann Richards in 1990, what the Republicans did, and who they ran against her. First of all, if you want to know what Texas was like, study Ann Richards. She could take care of herself, and wasn’t afraid of a fight.

    In 1990, Richards won the Democrat nomination for Governor, and was running on a Texas moderate platform. The Republicans ran a campaign against her, stating a Richards win would be “Death to Families.” But the worst was that the Republicans ran an almost stereotype of a Texan named Clayton Williams who was a millionaire oil businessman who inherited much of it from his father. His campaign was basically that a businessman with no political experience was better for Texas, a platform with nothing other than cut taxes, and he was winning with that schtick. He would have won if he hadn’t made several huge gaffs. The big two were that he refused to shake hands with Richards, because she was a former alcoholic, and the second was he made a rape joke. Well, those were still the days of decency, and Williams dropped in the polls and Richards won. She had a successful term, but ended up losing reelection to George W. Bush in 1994.

    When I look back on the 1990 Texas election, it was the precursor, the warning, of what platformless conservatism will do to the state and the nation. Clayton Williams was the Pre-Trump; rich with no ideas, shooting from the hip, and remorseless for being offensive. Policy was only important if it conformed to this toxic-masculine ideal; logic and science be damned!

    That is what happened in Texas yesterday, with Abbott’s order to get back to normal. There is no science out there that supports his decision, but he keeps saying that he is “following the science.” People will die from this decision, ad for what? To keep the market open? To stop people from asking for help from the government?

    To my friends and family in Texas, please get your vaccine. Ware a mask. Stay socially distant. Listen to science.

  • Where’s My Covid Vaccine?

    Now, I know that you should never use social media to compare yourself, let alone use it as a gage of current news.

    But…

    It sure as hell seems that just about everyone I know is getting vaccinated. It stated to make me wonder if I am doing something wrong.

    Now, the truth of the matter is that a great number of my friends are in the teaching profession, so clearly, I’m seeing them, as a priority group, all getting their shot.

    So, I just went on the New York State Covid Vaccine page and tried to see if I am eligible. After answering a bunch of questions about what I do for a living, and asking if I face the public, I was informed that I am not eligible. Looking a little deeper, I see that healthy people in their early forties will be up for a vaccine around Summer.

    Five months. Me and the wife could have about five months to go. Wow, that’s, just a bit more time than I thought…

    Again, the logical part of me knows that NY state is only getting so much vaccine a week, and we are a big state, and I live in the biggest city, so it will take some time. I also know that the more people in front of me in line who get vaccinated, actually will help make everyone safer through herd immunity. I know all of that.

    But I am getting anxious, and that is based in fear of getting sick, and also I am getting worn down with being restricted at home. The fatigue is getting to me, and I feel like we are starting to see the beginning of the end of this thing.

    I just gotta stay patient.

  • Personal Review: New Yorker Profile on Nicole Eisenman

    Do you know who Nicole Eisenman is? I didn’t until this weekend. I got another gift of a Sunday, and was able to do an hour of uninterrupted reading on the couch while listening to music. I chose to make my way through the March 1st issue of The New Yorker, and landed on a profile on the artist/painter/sculptor Nicole Eisenman. I do give a great deal of credit to the article’s writer, Ian Parker, for doing a great job of making visual art come to life through the written word. Not an easy task.

    There are many great parts to the piece, sharing how Eisenman works, and has survived and flourished as an artists in NYC. One part of the article that really struck me was Nicole speaking about how in college, after she came out to her parents, her father, who is a psychiatrist and believed that being gay was a mental disease, would write her long letters trying to dissuade her from being a lesbian, to “save her.” It struck as so depressing and heartbreaking. Her parents not accepting her for who she is bad enough, but to think when she would receive mail from her dad, it was just a dense letter to say how awful she was. I can’t imagine what that does to one’s self esteem, and how hard it must have been to move past that.

    The other thing that struck me about Nicole Eisenman, was how she moved between different forms of expression. Painting is clearly her main focus, but she is also a sculptor. Then if you pay attention and read between the lines, you learn that she was a DJ for a good bit of time, and blogged, and Nicole refers to many cartoons she has drawn in sketchbooks. She struck me as a person who is continually looking for ways to express, and share, and try new ideas. I admire her ability to stay in creative motion, which now I feel bad that I didn’t know of her before.

  • Covid Guilt: I’m Doing What I Can

    I’m ran the kid through her reading drills, and now she is in her remote class, working on writing words and sentences.

    I guess this is now normal for her. I wonder what she will remember about all of this? At what age will she look back and say, this was a completely messed up time to be alive? I can hear her wonder aloud one day, “How did three people stuck in a tiny apartment in Upper Manhattan survive this? How did we not all go insane?”

    I don’t know the answer to that. I’m not sure if I will ever understand how to answer that.

    The other night the wife asked me if I had an exercise plan. My answer is that I’m not planning on working out until the kid gets back into school, and I’m not going to feel bad about that. I am the primary care giver for the kid; parent, teacher, partner in crime in playing around the apartment. It takes up just about all of my time. To carve out an hour a day, three to four times a week, is just about impossible. And I’m tired of beating myself up over it. I’m putting the kid’s wellbeing first, and that’s good enough.

    None of this is normal, but I keep fooling myself that I should be able to get it all done. Some days I can do it all, but most days I can’t. Just making it to tomorrow, happy and health is a victory.

  • Reading and Writing in the Woods

    I follow Yaddo and MacDowell on Instagram. They are both artist residency programs (Check them out here: Yaddo, and MacDowell) and, for me, there is something very aspirational about following them. I think I would like to have a two-week residency with either one. Hell, I would take two days if it was offered to me.

    Have I applied to them? No, but maybe one day.

    I’m not sure if the reason I want to be out there is to be alone in the woods to work in solitude, or it might be that I would like to believe that I would rub elbows with David Sedaris, maybe help him make a communal meal for the colony. (I would have to fight the urge to tell David that I still give Holidays on Ice as a Christmas gift to people.) It’s as if it would be a working, smart person vacation.

    I think I might have told this story before, if so, then just act like its new…

    The last three major job interviews I have had in the past two years, all three have posed the same “personality” question to me; “If you could do anything, what would you do?” We all know the gimmick of this question, and the expected answer is that you are supposed to say, this job that I’m interviewing for. I preferred to answer the question honestly, but in a non-offensive way, by saying, “I would be in a cabin in the woods, reading and writing all day.” (Out of those three interviews, I only landed the job once.) As time has gone on, I see that my answer was more honest than I wanted to be. If I keep saying it, then there is some truth there, maybe on an id level.

    So, I guess I’m setting up a second goal here. The first being earn enough money from writing to buy a computer for my family. The second is to be in the woods reading and writing all day. If Yaddo and MacDowell want to help out with that, it would be greatly appreciated.