Author: Matthew Groff

  • Cop Out

    I tried to write about writing, and you know, it just felt like a cop out. Like I was trying to show that I was doing something, when in reality, I haven’t done a whole lot. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I was trying to pass off a lie, but it felt insincere. Not authentic.

    Where I am in my day today is that I dropped the kid off at school, walked the dog, went grocery shopping, and I am now trying to put a blog together.

    Going through motions?

    Maybe?

    As I sit on the couch and the wife works at her desk, I think I am trying to validate my worth right now. Trying to create something that I can point at so I can at least say I accomplished something creative. And then I also feel the need to share it. And share it to get validation.

    Is that all that this is boiling down to? I need someone to notice me?

    Maybe I do need someone to say, “Hey, I see you,” to feel like my day has a purpose. I still can’t tell if that is wrong or not. Somedays, it does feel wrong. That I have accomplished nothing, and that I am creating a false reality to have the appearance that I am doing these things.

    I don’t think there is a clean way to make wanting to be the center of attention altruistic.

    Hmmmmm…

  • School’s Back, For-Ever!

    The first thing that took me by surprise this morning was the amount of people on the streets. I went to walk the dog early, 7:30am, and I was taken aback by everyone being out. It almost felt like the New York of old, before the pandemic. I mean, I know why. Today is the first day of school, and for many companies, the first day back in the office.

    But the big deal is school being back, and in person. The kid could barely sleep last night, and she was up at the crack of dawn, and ready to go. She had been counting down the days for the past two weeks, and I would say that this first day of school was close to as exciting as Christmas morning.

    Last night, we let her pick out the clothes she wanted to ware today. We took time packing all of her school supplies, and taking pictures. It was starting to feel very real for us as well. Soon, she will be out of the house, and back with kids, learning and having all the adventures that come with a school day.

    I won’t lie, things did not go smoothly getting into the school, and getting settled in the classroom. BUT! I didn’t expect it to go swimmingly on the first day. I don’t even expect that it will go well for the first week even. Tomorrow will be better, and the day after that will be a little better as well. No one has done this for a year and a half, so let’s all cut each other some slack.

    Because, the kids are back in school. And that’s a win.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Coffee Mugs in Cars, Nothing But Ads, and the Last Weekend

    “Odds and Ends” is my continuing series of random thoughts and follow ups…

    There are many things that I don’t get about this world. One of them is people who take coffee mugs, full of coffee into their cars. I’m not talking a thermos, or a travel mug. No, what I am talking about are people who take a normal, regular coffee mug with them in their car. How do they stop it from spilling? Is there a secret to this? It just seems like uncovered vessels that contain liquid in a car is a recipe for a disaster.

    Not that I spend a bunch of time on FaceBook anymore, but I was scrolling through this morning, and I noticed that about half of the postings on my feed were sponsored posts. I have one from NEWSMAX, which if the algorithm was working correctly, should know that type of post would find not purchase in my feed. I am sure this has to do with my lack of interaction with the site. So, if I keep up this level of inactivity, in like two years, my feed with be nothing but sponsored posts?

    So, not that this is a big deal, but this is the last weekend of Summer Vacation. Eleven weeks went flying by, and we are ready for school to start on Monday. We got the school shopping done, talked to the kid about have to wear a mask all day. The wife and I talked about what the morning routine will need to be, because we haven’t had to do this since March 2020. It also means the end of Dad teaching school, and playing board games, and Barbies. No more pirate ship and puppet shows. It needs to come to an end, as the kid needs to be back in school and around her friends. This was a special time together, and I don’t know if I will even get this much father/daughter time again. But the other side of this is that she will get that spark of excitement of learning, and the daily victories and defeats that come with friendships. She’ll start becoming her own person, independent of her parents, as it should be.

  • Personal Review: McCartney 3,2,1

    I’m a huge Beatle fan. I have listened to every album, bootleg, and out take that I could get my hands on. I have read books on the band, on their recording techniques, and individual biographies. Once in college, I spent a day in the library reading old magazine articles from the 60’s about them. I even played George Harrison in a play, not that that has anything to do with this, but I thought I would just add it.

    I had known about the HULU McCartney 3,2,1 for some time, but I just never got around to it. Not that I wasn’t interested in it, but Summer was Summer, and things got away from me. But, now that life is calmer, I was able to dedicate some time, and I wanted to dedicate time and focus on this.

    The show is just Rick Rubin asking Paul McCartney questions about his songs – Beatles and solo work – and then listen to the songs as the two guys break down the different tracks on each song. This didn’t strike me as a show for casual Beatles fans, but more like a deep dive for those of us who know about the Beatles process of using a four-track, and how they were excited to get an eight-track at Abbey Road, and all the crazy wizardry they, and the engineers like Geoff Emerick, and producer George Martin, could come up with. So, on that level, it was pretty in-depth. Also, Rubin’s producer’s ear, as well as clearly being a huge fan, helped in bringing up question about the dualistic sound the Beatles loved to play with.

    I enjoyed it greatly, but I was reminded about one very clear fact; the last guy standing gets to tell the story. (I am aware that Ringo could chime in, but what I get from him is that he’s happy with his version of the story. Nothing to add.) I’m not saying Paul was lying in the show, but I think he was clearly smoothing over some edges. No stories of disagreements, or late-night sessions that ended in frustration, only to be picked up again the next day with new and different ideas. But on the flip side of that, I do think Paul was the most complementary and honest in saying that many of his songs were influenced and made better by the other three.

    And in the end, isn’t that what happens to everyone as they age and look back; We remember the good parts and start to forget about the bad stuff. Luckily, there are tons of good songs to remember.

  • Labor Day is Political Now?

    I found it odd over the past couple of days that Labor Day, a day set up to celebrate the US labor movement and unions, seems to have been co-opted by Conservative and Republicans, a very anti-union group, to assail people who are out of work. I saw many postings that were to the effect of, “If you aren’t working, you don’t get the celebrate.”

    I mean, I’m surprised but not surprised at this development. I mean, it’s just Labor Day, and normally a nice end to Summer Vacation. But on the other hand, why wouldn’t people try to make this divisive? It’s an old Conservative/Republican thing to blame poor people for not being wealthy. I have heard the trope all my life from people saying, “Just go get a job,” as if that will solve everything. Usually the people yelling that are college educated, and make way over minimum wage.

    I remember my grandfathers, both who worked through the Depression. One was college educated and management, and the other had a high school education, worked at a factory, and was a member of a union. Both of them respected work, and the fact that a person had a job, no matter what that job was, was to honored. “Always respect a man with a job,” they both would say. And, being that both of them started working during The Depression, they also respected that sometimes people get knocked down through no fault of their own. And they also taught me that kicking someone when they’re down is never heroic.

    I guess what I felt was the loss of decency. There are people out there that don’t want to work and take advantage of the system, but there are more people out there that want a job, to be responsible and take care of their families. The fact that people of one political persuasion don’t have the decency to see and understand that is disappointing. Depressing actually.