Author: Matthew Groff

  • Parent Fail

    Yesterday, I took the kid to the dentist, which she thinks of as a fun thing to do. She was nervous to go to the dentist at first, but we talked to her about who the dentist and the technicians are, and how they are there to help her. What also helps is that we found a great children’s dentist practice in the neighborhood, wherein everybody there is open and friendly, and fun, so the kid loves seeing them every six months.

    But at this latest appointment, the dentist found a little cavity in the kid’s back baby tooth, and it made me feel like a failure as a parent. I didn’t get my first cavity until I was eighteen, and I swear, I ate way worse than my kid does, but still; how did this happen? No matter what the answer, at the end of the day, it’s the parent’s fault, right?. We approve everything she eats, make sure she brushes, and if we allow her to eat bad stuff and not really brush her teeth, that’s on us. But, I thought we were doing a really good job on this.

    Maybe it was a reality check. Maybe we do suck at this parenting thing. Maybe we need to work a little harder.

    But what I think really bothers me is that I didn’t do my job correctly, and she might have to suffer for that. I know it’s just a little cavity… It still feels like I failed.

  • Publishing Help

    So, I have a plan.

    And let’s not forget that when you make a plan, God laughs.

    But, I still have a plan, which is that I want to get three short stories in good shape. Meaning, a first and second draft, some editing, and then a final peer review with me asking legitimate question, and not “Did you like it?” Once I get through all of that, then I will start submitting to publications.

    Pretty simple.

    One problem though… I haven’t submitted a story in twenty years. Back then you needed to send a hard copy with a SASE. (SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE) I think the world has changed a little since then.

    And that’s my point. The world of short story publishing has changed a lot in twenty years. The trouble is that I don’t even know how to get started. Back then I used to buy a copy the yearly publishers guide, and circle all the magazines that I though my work was good for. Not that I ever got published, but I always felt like that was a good starting point. Now, I’m not sure how to begin searching.

    That’s not to say that I haven’t been doing searches, because I am now starting to see ads online popping up for seminars on how to submit and get published. Anywhere from $50 to $300 will give me access to a published author who will give me all the tips and inside tracks of the publishing world.

    That can’t be real, right? If it was that simple, everyone would do it. But, I don’t have a frame of reference right now, so how do I know if that information is incorrect?

    I do also know that I am getting the cart before the horse here. I gotta have material first, if I want to submit. I just want to get started on something, have some feeling of forward motion, and to stop feeling like I’m on the outside looking in.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Traffic Tickets, IG is Harmful, and the Sadness of a Bald Man Getting a Haircut

    “Odds and Ends” is my continuing series of random thoughts and follow ups…

    It’s Friday, which is normally the day I that have to do the Alt Side Parking dance in the City. We had taken the car to get inspected at the start of the week, and the parking spot we found was Friday 9:30 to 11am. That time really didn’t work with my schedule, so this morning I went to go get the car and move it to a place where I knew I could get an 8:30 to 10am spot, which is much better for all the stuff I needed to get done today. Anyway, when I got to the car this morning, I had a ticket on the windshield for “Illegal Plastic Cover on License Plate.” That’s a thing? I say that because the car has been in the city for a long time. Long enough for us to get a couple of other parking tickets, all while that plastic cover was on the plate. So… why is it worth a ticket now?

    The one story this week that went by that I say got no traction was the leaked internal report from Facebook that Instagram is harmful, even toxic, to girls sense of worth and self-esteem, even though Facebook had been denying that for years. Wait?!?! Corporations lie? I will compare this story to the one about cigarette companies knowing that smoking was killing their consumers. It’s the same thing how alcohol companies know they need alcoholics to stay in business. Doing the right thing and making money really don’t go hand in hand. As someone who has a daughter, this only makes me want to keep her off of social media as long as possible.

    I need to get a haircut, I am a balding man, and this is an uncomfortable issue that comes up every three months or so. Not the way you think. I am balding, and I am okay with it. I knew it was coming since I was a little boy, as my father, and grandfather were bald, and also my grandfather on my mother’s side. So, there was no avoiding this. What makes getting a haircut uncomfortable is that I have half the amount of hair, and yet I am charged the same amount of money as if I had a full head of hair. I should at least be getting some sort of discount. The barber doesn’t have to work as hard on me, as my only options are short, or shorter, or no hair at all. I think 25% off would be fair, as I feel like I am subsidizing full headed men on their haircuts.

  • I Should Be Working

    Not sure what I should be working on today. I keep thinking that some idea will pop into my head, but that hasn’t happened. I have been sitting here for an hour now and nothing has come to me.

    What have I been doing for an hour?

    I balanced the family checkbook.

    I watched an episode of the old Addams Family on PlutoTV with my daughter.

    And at the same time, helped the kid spell some words for a book she was writing for her mom.

    I read an article about the Battle of Harlem Heights, which happened this day in 1776.

    There is no school today, in case anyone is wondering why the kid is here right now.

    And now, I’m starting to think about what I’m going to be doing the rest of the day…

    Later today, I’m going to try and convince the kid to watch Tottenham play Stade Rennais FC in the Europa Conference League, but I’ll probably be watching that alone.

    I should be working on some home improvement projects today… I might do that next…

    Oh, I did read an article in The New Yorker about CRT. It was informative.

    I should do a water color sketch.

    You know, my blog posts aren’t getting the views that they used to. I used to get 4 views per post, and for the past two weeks it’s dropped to one. I think my quality of posts is declining, which would explain why the numbers are dropping. Or… WordPress is suppressing my numbers, just like FaceBook and IG do to control your viewing habits.

    But, perhaps I said too much…

    I guess I’m back to using Twitter.

  • People on the Streets

    Man, there are a lot of people on the streets. At least in Harlem, anyway. I know that I said this on Monday, but I did assume that it was due to schools opening up again, and every parent and guardian wanted to walk their kid to class. And walking to school this morning, there were kids and parents everywhere. Again, not real surprised. But, after I dropped the kid off, I had an errand to run which took me away from the school and our building.

    And good lord, there are people everywhere. It honestly felt like a pre-Pandemic amount of people on the streets. About half the people were in masks, and full disclosure, I only put my mask on if I go into a building or store, as I am fully vaccinated.

    Logically, I know that New York State, New York City, Manhattan, and Harlem have high vaccination rates, and low Covid infection rates. It could be better, sure, but compared to other parts of this country – we’re doing pretty well, and in that sense, relatively safe.

    Now, emotionally, I find myself uncomfortable being around this many people. Even when we were on vacation in Maine, only three times in that week were we around large amounts of people; Freeport, Portland, and Old Orchard Beach. The rest of the time, we were away from crowds and on our own. Now, I see buses full, subway cars filling up, and people right up against each other in stores. I can take about two hours of this, but any more time after that, I begin to creep myself out.

    At some point, we are going to be at herd immunity. At some point, life will kind’a be normal. At some point, I will have to go out and find a job, which will mean being near people for about eight hours a day. This is coming, and it is a good thing. What I am seeing now in myself is that there will need to be some work on my end to become comfortable with it.

    It will just take some time.