Author: Matthew Groff

  • The Act of Journaling

    I read an article in this week’s New Yorker, entitled “The Paper Tomb,” about the journals of Claude Fredericks. Who, you ask? In fact, the article starts off the same way. Unless you went to Bennington College, or are a deep dive fan of the novel, “The Secret History,” odds are you are like me, and this would be the first time his name has shown up in your life. What makes Claude Fredericks interesting, at least in this article, is that he spent an entire lifetime journaling, and expected it to be published. Also, Fredricks was an early proponent, autofiction, though in his mind, he saw the journal as the vessel of this media, and not the novel.

    I read the article last night, and I have been thinking about it since. I do like the ambition of a longhaul documentation of one’s life, in the sense that it is a fascinating art project. It’s like Andy Warhol’s “Sleep,” five and a half hours of a guy sleeping. Sure, it’s an anti-film, but it also plays on the idea of documentation to the point where it is actually just witnessing life. Can you truly document an entire life? We all know the answer is no. You cannot witness someone else’s entire life, nor can you get every detail of life down on paper.

    But what is it then? I journal, and I know a great number of other people who journal as well. Hell, Gary Shandling was a prolific with his journals. Are we doing this for ourselves, or do we all intend to have someone read them one day? Isn’t this just a fancy literary way of talking to ourselves?

    I have completed 38 journals that are anywhere from 200 to 300 pages long each. I started when I was 18 and continue to this day. They are in a box in the office, and most days I don’t think about them. Then I complete a journal, and go to throw it into that box, and that’s when I ask myself, who is this really for?

  • Election Day

    It’s Election Day in NYC. It’s sort of a holiday here, in the sense the schools are closed… sort of. There is no in person learning happening, but the kids are remoting into for their lessons. So, the whole family is together today. The wife is working, and the kid and I are on the couch working on our respective computers.

    And, sadly, I’m not excited about this election. We are voting for Mayor in the City, and I really don’t like either candidate. Silwa is a character from New York City Past, and just seems out of touch for the current NYC. Eric Adams feels like the new “conservative” Democrats. You can’t win an election in this town running as a Republican, so most moderate Republicans became Democrats, and that’s Eric Adams. Again, not excited about either one.

    I quote Desus and Mero when it comes to being mayor of this city; It’s the only job where you are hated by everybody on day one. Seriously, what kind of person wants that job?

    It has left me with this feeling of dread in my stomach this election. I was anxious in 2016, 2018 and 2020, as I did feel that Trump and his allies were a threat to this country. This time around, I feel like it’s going to get broken no matter who wins, and things will get worse. I know that this is a dangerous mentality to have. It’s very close to the feeling of hopelessness.

    And that’s what makes me very uncomfortable with myself.

  • Tottenham Might Be Unfixable

    I did think the headlines going into the Tottenham v. Man United match were a little over the top. The British press were selling the idea that whomever lost, that manager would be fired on Monday. I thought, no way. Not two and a half months into the season.

    Have I mentioned that I know nothing about English football?

    But then Tottenham went on to lose 0-3 at home. The whole team looked awful. Offense was uninspired. Defense looked lost. Does anyone remember Kane and Son last year? Does anyone remember when this team made it to the Champions League final? By the end of the match, I came to accept that yes, Nuno was going to be fired.

    And here we are on Monday, and that is what happened. Nuno is out, and it looks like Antonio Conte is in? Not sure if that will help. Team owner Levy did this trick back in 2019, and that didn’t help, and in fact, made the team worse. I’m not confidant in an owner who decides to do the same thing again, expecting a different result.

    Sadly, and I know that I am wrong all the time when it comes to this team, but I think this is Kane’s last season with Tottenham. If this team can’t win, why would he stay? World Cup is next Summer, and England is ranked in 5th in the world. Kane will have a very big stage to show how much he is worth, and some team will pay it.

    So… Yeah, for bad decisions for a middle of the table team! Yeah!

  • ODDS and ENDS: Josh Hawley is Still Stupid, Aaron Rodgers, and Gyms

    “ODDS and ENDS” is my continuing series of random thoughts and follow ups…

    This morning as I was sitting in the car for the street sweeper, and I read Josh Hawley’s Op-Ed in the New York Times. If you have forgotten, Josh Hawley is the Republican Senator from Missouri who tried to help overturn the 2020 Election and was pro-riot at the Capital. You know, that Josh Hawley. As you can tell, I’m not a fan, but out of fairness, I read his Guest Essay, “The Only Way to Solve Our Supply Chain Crisis Is to Rethink Trade.” First of all, I love how conservatives rally against liberal media like the NY Times, but still want their opinions published in the NY Times. Second, the awful trade deals were created by both parties, not just Democrats like Josh claims. Third, jobs going overseas started forty years ago, which clearly doesn’t make it a new phenomenon. And last, if I understand Josh here, he is a person that doesn’t want government telling business what to do, but in his essay he  wants government to tell business what to do. Right… You still stupid Josh. Not for suggesting government regulation. No, you stupid for thinking that if it comes out of your mouth, it’s not a liberal idea. Stupid.

    So, does Aaron Rogers look he’s having the most fun playing football in the NFL?

    I have never been to a gym. That shocked my wife, but I really don’t workout, ever. I might have to join one soon though. Just saying…

  • Thoughts on The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

    As we get closer to Halloween, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow reappears in my life. The first appearance is always when we visit The Great Jack o’Lantern Pumpkin Blaze at Van Cortlandt Manor in early October, just as the weather gets very cool at night, and leaves are starting to change. The Blaze always has a section which is Headless Horseman themed, and every year, the kid asks us who that is, and what is the Legend? On the drive back into the City, we retell the story of Ichabod Crane, and his fateful ride to cross the bridge at the Old Dutch Church. The kid gets a little spooked when we tell her there is a real town of Sleepy Hollow, a real bridge over the Pocantico River, and a real old Dutch Church graveyard.

    I also am fascinated by The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I had a bit of giddy excitement the first time that I went to Sleepy Hollow after I moved to the area. I think it was the Summer of 2007, and we had rented a car to drive up to Beacon for the day, but I had requested that my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, drive our car through the town. I also wanted to see the bridge, which is just a cement bridge and not the covered wooden one of my imagination. I wanted to see the graveyard, and the Old Dutch Church, and verify that they were real, and not fictional. It was watching literature coming to life, because the Horseman isn’t real, but everything else was?

    My fascination of the Legend also comes from how Washington Irving created the story. The Headless Horseman ghost has its roots in German and Dutch folklore. The history of Westchester County during the Revolutionary War; how it was a no-man’s land between the British and the Colonists, with skirmishes resulting in corpses left in the woods to be discovered years later. These were stories that Irving heard as a kid growing up in the county. He mixed it all together, along with his observations of how outsiders and homogenous communities deal with each other. Irving created something altogether American from many disparate parts, which still sounds like America.