Author: Matthew Groff

  • Earworm Wednesday: I Made My Peace with this Band

    I was a music snob, and it would be fair to say that I still am a music snob. Either way, I didn’t like 311 when they came out, or more accurately, when the “Down” single came out in ’96. And this song was everywhere, and it drove me nuts. I wasn’t opposed to the rap/metal genera when it was happening, just you know, some bands were better at it than others. But, as I have gotten older, and mellowed, I can say that my animosity toward 311 has subsided. They’re not my thing, but that’s not to say that they make bad music and make their fans happy. So, in that regard, I have come to respect “Down” as a song.

    The “earworm” of this song is the “chill” at the very start, which I still find very funny and plays over and over. The other one is the chorus, though I cannot tell you what the lyrics of it are, it’s the melody of the chorus that gets stuck in my head.

    Enjoy and CHILL!

  • Halloweens of the Past

    The other day, as we were putting together the kid’s costume for Halloween, she asked me, what did I dress up as for Halloween? At first this seemed like such an easy question to answer, and I started to respond that I went as a pirate, a cowboy, a California Raisin, Indiana Jones… and… and then I couldn’t remember. I drew a blank.

    I could remember being a pirate when my family lived in Alabama, which would have made me five. Then I remembered the first Halloween in Texas, a cowboy – real shock there. I know that I did the California Raisin thing in 6th grade because there was a girl I liked and she thought it would be cute if I went as that, which I think shows you how desperate I was to get any female attention. And then Indiana Jones I did in 7th grade to coincide with Last Crusade which had come out that Summer, but it was also my last Halloween because I did feel too old to be out Trick or Treating.

    That leaves a gap in my memory from 1st to 5th grade.

    Now, I remember going Trick or Treating with my friends over those years. I remember the old guy who gave out pennies, and the house that gave out toothbrushes. There was the could that gave apples, and the family that wrapped Bible verses around mini Snickers bars. And there was the family that turned their home into a Haunted House that you could go through. I remember the junior high boys that would throw eggs, toilet paper, and water balloons at people. I remember families being out, and the police driving slowly through our neighborhood, keeping an eye out, making sure it was safe, and trying to catch those boys on their bikes. I remember the years my mom took me and my friends out, and the times my dad took us.

    But nothing when it comes to my costumes from those years. It’s a blank, while also it feels like it’s on the tip of my tongue, but still won’t materialize.

    It’s a very strange feeling to not be able to remember this. Like, I know it was a big deal dressing up, and taking time to figure out my costume. I know my mom would help me put it together… but I just can’t remember.

    Odd…

  • Mom’s Out of Town! What to Eat?

    Not that this happens very often, but the wife is out of town for a work conference, which means it’s just me and the kid this week. This situation means different things to different people. For my wife, this conference is an opportunity to network, gain more knowledge, and further her career. For me, it is a little more work taking care of the kid by myself, but I am happy that I can help support my wife’s career while at the same time, I get the home office to myself, so I can work on my writing projects. For the kid, who is a little sad that mom’s not around, but she is tempering this because in her mind, she gets to eat fast food with dad. And I know that’s true because the kid said that to me last night.

    Now, let me explain…

    See, on the whole, we really don’t eat fast food in our family. We try to cook at home as much as possible, and when we don’t feel like cooking, we either order out, or go to a local restaurant. When we do eat fast food, it’s usually because we are traveling on the road and need something quick. When the kid usually gets fast food, it’s because she’s over at a friend’s home, and it turns out to be a big treat for her – in the “forbidden fruit” kind’a idea of a treat. The wife is more adamant about no fast food as compared to me, but we are both in agreement that the kid needs to have a healthy relationship with food, and she needs to know how to cook healthy for herself when she heads out on her own.

    That was a real long way to go to say that dad get her Chipotle last night. And I do really like Chipotle, it is my one weakness; if I can get it without catching any grief from the wife, I will.

    But the kid has upped the ante; She wants to try Taco Bell. And I am torn on this one. I used to eat a lot of Taco Bell when I was in college, but I didn’t eat it for flavor – I ate it because it was cheap. I am pretty sure the kid wants it because normally she would never get it, but we have good Mexican food in our neighborhood; two good restaurants, and three taco trucks. Maybe they are a little more expensive, but they taste way better!

    I know that I will cave, and I know that I will suffer for it.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Sleepy, Stuffy, and the Difference Between Avenues and Streets

    ODDS and ENDS: Sleepy, Stuffy, and the Difference Between Avenues and Streets

    (And who thought this was a good idea?!)

    I can’t get enough sleep. I’m not saying that I have a medical condition, or anything to be alarmed about. No, this more has to do with getting older, my body needs more sleep, but I still have a lot of shit to do. Sure, I could go to bed earlier, I mean any idiot could do that, but this feels more like being thirsty. No matter how much I drink, I’m still thirsty. No matter how much I sleep, I just want to sleep more. That’s what I want; not that my body agrees with that, because my body will wake me up somewhere between 5:30 and 6am. That is rather annoying. But even when this happens, and even if I get eight hours of sleep. I’m still tired and I want to sleep more. This is also why I am a fan of, and take naps daily.

    All our noses are stuffed up. The wife and the kid are getting over a cold, so that makes sense. Me? I just I have a sympathy stuffed up nose. When the wife was pregnant and was eating for two, I also eat for two. I easily put on ten pounds. I guess it could be the same thing.

    For those of you who don’t live in New York City, and specifically Manhattan, streets run east to west, and avenues run north to south. Also, the space between avenues is much longer as compared to streets which is much shorter. Just so you know. And please, if you are a tourist, remember this when you come and visit the City.

  • Short Story Review: “Door in the Woods” by Chris Scott

    (The flash fiction story “Door in the Woods” by Chris Scott was presented at Okay Donkey on October 3rd, 2025.)

    The “Door in the Woods” by Chris Scott pulls off my favorite story telling trick; It leaves me with more questions than answers, but not in the frustrating “jerk you around” kind’a way. This is a work that straddles realism and surrealism. It is relatable, authentic, but also funny and absurd. In little over 1,100 words, it is a very specific story addressing a rather universal experience most encounter in their relationships.

    The story starts off with a bit of mystery and tension. It isn’t until the third sentence wherein the door is identified. Even in the second paragraph, when more of a description of the door is given, there hangs in the air a feeling that the door is unnatural in origin. Then to add to the tension, it is shared that this couple has been in therapy in an attempt to save their marriage. Once they decide how to pass by/through the door, and do so, the uneasiness of the situation fades, and seems to be setting up a metaphor for the couples’ relationship. But there’s a complications; each person remembers the encounter with the door differently.

    Was this a supernatural encounter? Is this couple like every couple, and having a moment where they remember things differently? Is the door affecting their ability to remember? Or is this misremembering an act of sabotage by one of the partners? These questions hang, and motivate the narrator, who is the husband in the couple. Truth isn’t the goal, when an answer, a conclusion, or closure is what’s needed.

    Scott does an excellent job creating tension, unease, and relatability in this work. The husband’s need and search for an answer from this unusual event underscores his desire to create stability and peace in this rocky marriage. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t agreed to a lie to keep a fight from bubbling up in their relationship. In this story, you can feel the eggshells the husband stands on, and the fear that this could be the event to push this marriage over the edge.