Author: Matthew Groff

  • ODDS and ENDS: Old Friends, People with Cats, and Side Hustling a Side Hustle

    (First it steals your mind…)

    As I keep aging, and time continues on – I am so grateful that I have old friends. People that have known me from adolescence to awkward adulthood; and vice versa. We don’t see each other as much as we should, and text seems to be to communication platform of choice. But man, even this morning, with a few simple texts, I was laughing and feeling so much better about everything. It’s great having people who know how to push the right buttons.

    My wife found this picture online the other day:

    It’s for a product that you can find at Wal-Mart, and I want to say that I am in no way endorsing or criticizing the need or use of this product… But I will say that I think the cat in this photo is formulating a plan to kill their owner while they sleep.

    I have noticed lately that I keep finding news stories in my feed about people whose side hustle has started earning them six figures. This “side hustle” is usually making print on demand items with funny phrases on it, dog walking, or reviewing products for Amazon. This reminds me of all the “get rich quick” schemes from the 80’s; MLM, work from home, shady investing… Has anyone thought about a side hustle which you are a consultant to help people figure out what their side hustle should be?  

  • Short Story Review: “Poetry Is Not About the Price of Gasoline” by Amorak Huey

    (The flash fiction story “Poetry Is Not About the Price of Gasoline” by Amorak Huey appeared in Okay Donkey.)

    I am aware that I should know this, but sometimes I just am not sure what the difference is between absurdist literature and postmodern literature. Some of my favorite writers fall into one, or the other, or both of these categories. And I don’t want to get started about what makes something post-postmodernism or post-irony.

    So, what is “Poetry Is Not About the Price of Gasoline” by Amorak Huey? I guess you could define it with one of the above terms, but that feels like a pointless academic exercise. What the piece reminded me of was how many people see poetry as a useless commodity, while gasoline, especially the price of gas, commands an important space in their daily lives. This juxtaposition is humorous, though it does leave a bitter aftertaste in the realization how poetry is vastly undervalued. Not a revolutionary observation, but it is presented well here, especially with this wonderfully encapsulating line:

    “Which is to say this poem is nine-tenths of the way to being yours, with the final tenth of the process being determined by the rest of the laws, the ones written—like poems—out of language and granted meaning by our need to have shared words for how we interact with each other.”

    And then those baboons somehow got on that flight to LA.

  • Short Story Review: “Why I didn’t Immediately Load the Car When My Husband Texted that the Fire Was Getting Closer” by Claudia Monpere

    (The flash piece “Why I didn’t Immediately Load the Car When My Husband Texted that the Fire Was Getting Closer” by Claudia Monpere, appeared in Milk Candy Review.)

    I like flash fiction; it is my preferred form of storytelling now. It’s a very malleable form as well. It can be a straight forward very short short story, it can boarder right up to poetry, a snapshot of stream of consciousness – whatever it needs to be to tell a story, or complete a thought, or action – flash fiction can do it.

    In Claudia Monpere’s “Why I didn’t Immediately Load the Car When My Husband Texted that the Fire Was Getting Closer,” we are presented with an impressively short flash piece (193 words) that consists of 10 sentences. The title also functions as an essential setup, as the body of the piece is answering that question. A device is employed with 9 of the sentences beginning with the word “Because,” except for the last one. Though this is not the most original device, Monpere uses it effectively to create a rhythm and a pace that builds to the concluding final sentence. Also, the third, sixth, and eighth sentences are about the impending fire, creating a dramatic effect, like a ticking clock, adding to the tension of this moment. “Why didn’t I…” is a good example of why the flash fiction form is so intriguing when it comes to telling stories and expressing feelings and thoughts.

    As a person who also had to load a car quickly as a wildfire approached my home, I deeply identified with this piece. When a natural disaster is an abstract, and just a mental exercise, you think you know how you’ll react, and prioritize what is important when that moment arrives. But when you open your front door and can smell the fire, see the sky changing color, and hear the fire trucks, you don’t know what to do at first, and I grasped for the things I thought were important, before I realized what was important. And maybe I am biased due to my personal experience, but Claudia Monpere captured an emotional truth in the middle of a disaster perfectly.

  • Showing My Kid “Cool Hand Luke”

    I’m not the best father. I have very good intentions, and I show up, and I am dependable, but outside of that, I’m floundering around here.

    One of my flounder moments of late is trying to show my kid good movies. Like really good movies, the best movies, movies that had a huge impact on storytelling, movie making; you get the deal. I am way too eager to do this, and I have to remind myself that most of the beast movies ever made aren’t appropriate for a nine-year-old.

    So, of late, I have just been showing her the start of movies or very famous scenes. Amazingly, this has worked out very well. After watching Barbie together, I thought showing her the opening “Dawn of Man” section of 2001: A Space Odyssey would be a good idea, as that part is parodied in Barbie. And I was delightfully rewarded showing it to her, because she was able to visually follow the story, understood the importance of the bone/tool, and how tools good be used for good and bad. And she especially understood what Barbie was parodying.

    After having such a rewarding experience with 2001, I decided that I would press my luck and show her one of my favorite movies, Cool Hand Luke, a film I consider a great movie and if nothing else, it’s Paul Newman’s best performance. Unfortunately, the only streaming service I could find that had the movie came with commercials. What this availed to us was two minutes for me to answer questions, which is to be expected, as I do have a very curious and inquisitive child. Mind you, we only got 1/3 of the way through the movie.

    The questions she provided me were; Where are the girls? Why does everyone smoke? Don’t they know that’s bad for them? Is there a prison for women and do they do the same thing? Do they have air conditioning? Are the guards allowed to shoot people? If the guards shoot people, do they get in trouble? Why isn’t “The Box” illegal? Are there bugs and rats in “The Box?” And my favorite – How do you play poker?

    I don’t mind her questions, that’s how you learn; you ask questions, right. What I forgot was how much of a huge jump in her experience it is to see a movie made in 1967 about people living in the South during the early 1950’s. It’s just on the very edge of her understanding. Such as, she sees the cars and the trucks, those are things she can relate to and understand. But no air conditioning? She doesn’t know a world without A/C. And then I had to explain to her what parking meters were – how you had to put change in a machine, and turn a handle, and it counted down until you had to put more change in it. That kind’a blew her mind…

    And we haven’t even got to the egg eating scene yet.

  • There’s an Eclipse, Ya’ll

    I was trying to think up some non-cliché shit to say about the Eclipse, but then I gave up. So, I’m not trying to say cliché things, but at the same time, I’m not trying to avoid it either.

    That having been said…

    The kid’s school is letting all of the students out early so they can see it, and I’m going to join her and her class. Here in New York City, I believe that we are getting a 90% coverage. Not sure what that will be like. It could be something, it could be nothing. Don’t know.

    But if you go looking for me, I will be the guy looking at the other people who are looking at the eclipse.

    I seem to remember that there was a partial eclipse in the Dallas area during the early 80’s. My older brother made some sort of viewing box so we could see that a part of the sun was being blocked. The other thing I remember about the eclipse was being warned not to look at the sun, as it will blind you and do all kinds of awful stuff. I think my brothers were trying to scare me. It worked. I was afraid if I looked at the sun my face would melt like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    This time around, I think we’ll have spotty cloud cover, so we might not get a chance to see anything.

    Not that I’ll be looking.