Today has been nuts. Even though I got up early and tackled the day, seems like something kept popping up and cornering me from getting to what I wanted to do. That stuff stopping me was my responsibilities to my family.
Like right now, I am on the couch helping my daughter with her homework as she has a big test at school tomorrow. I want to be there for her. I mean, I am here, literally sitting next to her, trying to make sure she understands that I am behind her, support, and believing in her to do well. Because she is working hard, and I want her to know that I see how hard she is working.
But, I am supposed to write everyday, and damnit! That’s what I am going to do.
I did write in my journal this morning, but that’s different.
It’s about the habit; creating the habit, keeping the habit, sustaining the habit… If I don’t put something out, then I feel like I have let myself down.
That’s the point of this post, to make the point that I did something. I didn’t give in and say that I will make it up tomorrow, but I pushed through it, and got it out.
I’m not sure about much anymore. The older I get, the more I understand that I never really understood as much as I thought I did. I thought by midlife, I would have some wisdom and clairity on a few things. Maybe have an insight or two. Really, I know a couple of things.
I know I want to be a good father. I want to be better at it. I want to be dependable, so my daughter knows that I will be there if needed.
And I want to keep the promises I make to myself. If I say that I will post five times a week, then I will posy something five times a week.
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