Month: December 2023

  • The 7 Habits of People Who Are Complete Failures, Or Who Stopped Eating Sugar

    So, I made a mistake recently by reading a click-bait story that was on my Google News feed about the 8 habits of successful people, or some shit. I know it was a listicle about habits of certain types of people because my news feed is now inundated with these types of articles…

    8 Habits of Caring Spouses

    10 Signs of Above Average Kids

    23 Annoying Things Super Rich People Never Do

    1001 Words Well Adjusted Emotionally Solvent Adults Always Say

    And then I began to notice that some of the good habits of happy and successful people happened to also be the bad habits of sad, lonely and failure people…

    Did you know that getting enough sleep is good, unless you sleep too much?

    Then it’s bad to stay up late, unless you are staying up late to read and do self-wellness shit.

    Taking the time to enjoy good food is a good habit, while enjoying food too much can be bad.

    Don’t get me started about the gym! On the whole, it’s good to go to the gym, unless you obsess about body image by going to the gym too much.

    And you know, they never site their sources for this information. Did the Mayo Clinic do a 20-year research study on the habits of people who always are positive in the morning? Is that where this information is coming from. Or is this just some dude (Or AI) coming up with click-bait to fill up their site with content?

    It’s content; I know it’s content.

  • Sick Again (Unedited)

    And I’m not talking about the Led Zeppelin song.

    No, I’m talking about the fact that I got sick over the weekend. I had written on Friday morning that I had a nostril that was clogged up, but I wasn’t feeling sick. Then around 6pm that night, oh lord, did I start feeling sick. I was running a low fever and I just crawled into bed, and didn’t come out.

    The one good thing about being sick this time around was that I got caught up on a bunch of tv shows that I had been putting off. The downside is pretty obvious; I felt like shit cuz I was sick.

    Starting Sunday, I began to feel better. I was able to watch Tottenham and the Cowboys win their respective games that day, so I was in a pretty good mood.

    But today was a working day, and I had to do my fatherly and husband duties, and it was pretty rough. I feel better than I did on Sunday, which means I am improving, but as of this moment, I just really want to go back to bed.

    But no. I am on the couch writing while the kid is doing her homework. I need to walk the dog soon, and then I need to make dinner. Nope, I gotta keep going and around 9:30pm is when I will have a chance to sit and relax and quickly fall asleep on the couch.

    I am a bit surprised that I got sick. I had a cold not too long ago, which meant that I hit my one cold a year quota. The kid hadn’t been sick, nor the wife, so I am a bit perplexed on how I was infected. See, I had a bit of time in bed on Saturday to think about how this could be the cold that kills, and I wanted to know how I acquired it; though they say you never hear the one with your name on it.

  • ODDS and ENDS: My Nose, My Teams, and My Goodness

    (Out you pixies go!)

    So, something has happened to my nose of late. My right nostril is completely clogged up, and won’t budge. I don’t feel sick, so I don’t think it’s a cold, but I am totally congested. I went out and bought a couple of different nasal sprays, which do work like magic and open things up, but a few hours later, everything closes up again. I thought it was the heat being on in the building and the really dry air. I turned the shower on and steamed up the bathroom, and that seemed to work, yet again it only gave temporary relief. This is very disconcerting, as I feel out of breath all the time; like I am slowly being suffocated. There’s no punchline here as I think I am slowly dying.

    Since Maddison got injured, Tottenham has been playing awful. They lost three in a row, and then had a glimmer of a match when the eeked out a draw in Man City. But yesterday, Hotspur lost again, and I have this awful feeling that the season is slipping away. I’m trying not to be dramatic as there is a lot of football left to be played in the season, but I don’t think I am alone when I say that I really need Spurs to finish in the top four and get back in the Champions League. Now the Dallas Cowboys seem to be doing better. They finally beat a team with a winning record! And Sunday, they will play the Eagles in Dallas, and we’ll see how good the Cowboys really are. It’s a good sports weekend.

    The year is almost over. I think I might need to start putting my “Best Of…” lists together.

  • School Performances

    My kid had a school performance this morning. It wasn’t a play; it was a review of songs. Each class came out on stage and did a song. I must say that the program was run very smartly and efficiently. It started on time, and ended early – of all things. I give all the credit to the theatre and music teacher; they did an outstanding job. I would say that a great many professional theatre artists could learn a great deal on running a show from these teachers.

    As I sat in the back of the house, I can’t deny the sense of beaming pride that shone off of me. The wife too, and, well, all the other parents there, too. Oh, parents are such a subjective, unreliable audience. Our opinions cannot be taken seriously. Yes, we would applaud our kids burping the National Anthem.

    I began to wonder, and I know the answer is yes, but even going all the way back to the 4th Century BC, were Athenian parents also swooning over their kids as they performed in Dionysian Festival of Theatre? When the chorus of children filed out on stage and began to recite lines backing up Oedipus, there must have been mothers and fathers beaming and bragging about how amazing their child was. Even when masks fell off kid’s faces, and the deus ex machina locked up stranding an actor in the air, those parents still spoke about how their kid was just as good as Thespis.

    Yeah, sure, the more things change, the more the stay the same – a truth that cannot be avoided in this situation. I always knew that when I became a father that eventually, I would be in a school auditorium watching my kid on a stage with other kids, half of them desperately not wanting to be up there, performing something – and probably not well.

    But not today. No, my kid was awesome on stage. She is a naturally talented performer.

  • Short Story Review: “Self-Portrait in Assignments” by Max Kruger-Dull

    (The short story “Self-Portrait in Assignments” by Max Kruger-Dull appeared on November 30th, 2023 in Milk Candy Review.)

    I am a strong proponent for flash fiction to not behave like a short story. That’s not to say that a writer cannot craft a well written short story in under a thousand words which exhibits all the qualities of a traditional short story; opening, rising action, climax, conclusion, character development…etc. I hold to that flash fiction should reject the use of plot, climax, and even resolution. Flash should be its own beast that is about the expression of an idea or an emotion, wherein the narrative ends with the conclusion of the idea or emotion, but does not necessitate a resolution of the idea or emotion.

    (Academic enough for you?)

    “Self-Portrait in Assignments” by Max Kruger-Dull came across my desk last week, and I have been kicking it around in my head ever since. It’s the type of flash story that was a bit of a gut punch and made me question my approach toward this style of fiction. The piece is made up of ten short vignettes, just about all dealing with words that, in one way or another, have been assigned to the narrator. Each short piece is titled with the abbreviated name of the person who did the assigning.

    So, that’s the form of the piece.

    The way these ten vignettes play with each other creates a picture of the narrator, though not in a linear timeline, more of a sequence that exemplifies the narrators emotional standing, and ultimately, emotional growth. Though the narrator comes across as a smart person, there is also a hint of a lack of self-confidence, though a determination to keep trying also exists in the character. That determination is exemplified in the love and care that the narrator has for his daughter. Kruger-Dull smartly gives three examples of interactions with the daughter; one being before the daughter was born thus showing how her influence was already present in the narrators life. By using the rule of three, the importance of this relationship is made paramount, thus signaling the emotional conclusion of this “self-portrait.”

    All the notes are played right in this piece, which left me feeling satisfied with the journey that this piece took me on. I want to say that the narrator started in one place and finished in another, but did they? Did the narrator only acknowledge their shortcomings, and choose not to pass them on to their daughter? I first thought there wasn’t a conflict in the piece, but was there? Was the narrator fighting to accept himself in the eyes of his daughter? To be better for her, even if that means he has to fake who he is?

    See; I can’t put my finger on what it is. But what I do know is that “Self-Portrait in Assignments” is using flash fiction in a specific way to express an emotional idea that couldn’t exist an any other format.