First and Second Day of School

Written by

Matthew Groff

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This academic year, we switched schools that our daughter attends. It wasn’t an easy decision, and there were many family discussions, and up and downs, but we landed on a school we are all happy with. This did cause us to have a short Summer, as her old school got out on the last week of June, and her new school started this middle of August. Again, we had discussed this as a family, and the kid said she was okay with all of it.

And when the first day rolled around, she was up and ready to go – full of excitement and itching to start the adventure. The new school required a uniform, which she felt was like Harry Potter and Hogwarts. Though she did mention that it was a little sad not to go to school with her old friends, she said she was ready to make new friends. This school was out of the neighborhood, so we had to ride the subway, which was a new adventure. Everything was new and exciting, and we were all ready for it. And it wasn’t surprising that by the time I picked her up from school, the excitement and adrenaline had worn off, and she was tired, and in the end, though she likes school, it was still school.

Today, was we got up this morning, there was no joy or excitement in getting up to go to school. The newness had worn off in 24 hours, and we returned to the world of her asking, “Why is school so early?” Sprinkle on top of that and nice bit of grumpiness. She did get up and go, and as we got closer to the school, her attitude got better, but she was still closer to grumpy than nice.

Again, I am not surprised at this reaction. Going someplace new is hard. It’s hard to walk into a room full of people, who all know each other, and fit in. Being new brings up stresses and anxieties in her, and I am powerless to assuage them. I can support and be there and listen, but dropping her off is the first time I really felt powerless in helping her. I’m confident in her to overcome this, and make this school work, to make friends, and thrive in this new environment.

She’s got this.

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3 responses to “First and Second Day of School”

  1. Darts and Letters Avatar
    Darts and Letters

    My youngest son started a new school this year, too. His second new school in three years, we moved him to a lot better elementary school a couple years ago to make up for lost time during the pandemic (3rd grade was a disaster) and then this year he’s starting 6 grade. I’m glad to be done with uniforms! His last school, boys wore white polos (ugh, plain) and my son was the most stained fifth grader……markers, paint, food, you name it. He wore his stains proudly. Your classic grubby kid, lol

    I hope the new school will be good for your daughter, that she’ll be happy there- have great teachers, meet some nice kids, be proud of going there. Public or private? The new school for my youngest is private, we agonized but in the end felt like we had no choice. His big brother goes to a public neighborhood high school, a good one, and our plan is for little brother to land back there in a few years, walk in big brother’s footsteps

    It must be amazing to live in NYC, what a place to have a family……..your daughter will be a “real” city kid! We live in the center of Seattle but it’s night and day difference from NYC obviously.

    -Jason

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    1. Matthew Groff Avatar
      Matthew Groff

      Say, I hear you about getting your kid in the right school to address the issues leftover from Covid. We just never felt our daughter was getting the guidance she needed to get caught back up to speed. We liked the school she was in, but we couldn’t shake the feeling that her needs weren’t being met. We ended up going with a charter school, which was also a difficult decision for us. (There are many public school teachers in my family, so we aware of both sides of the public/charter issue.) In the end we went with what we felt was going to be the best place for her, not only to get caught up, but also thrive.

      As of now, it is going well. Her teachers are great, especially her math and art teachers. She’s making friends, and we can tell she is improving in her subjects. We haven’t closed the door on going back to a public, as NYC has some pretty stellar high schools, but we have to see how the kid feels about it. She likes the uniform aspect, but I can see in the very near future that she will bristle at not being able to show her own style.

      For you, do your kids mind that one is in a private school and the other is public? Or is it a non-issue?

      We are happy to have a “city” kid, but it can be a double edge sword. We like NYC, and the fact that our neighborhood and her school are diverse. There are many opportunities here for experiencing the arts, and culture. The downside is that she sees many things which has led to some difficult conversations. It’s not that I mind answering her questions about these things, I prefer to discuss it than ignore it, it’s just sometimes I feel that she might be growing up too fast.

      As always, thanks for checking out the blog.

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      1. Darts and Letters Avatar
        Darts and Letters

        Same here about public school teachers in the family (my wife’s mom was a second grade school teacher and there are other teachers in the family), so we had similar qualms about public vs. private education.

        As for one child in public, one in private……it’s not an issue. It definitely crossed our minds at one point, we initiated discussions about it with our older son. But there was never any doubt in his mind about where he was going, he likes his school a lot. All his friends are there, it has a good reputation for academics, it’s a diverse school community and it has a stellar music program, which is important to my son.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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