Don’t go to the laundromat to catch up on laundry on President’s Day. It’s not the celebration of grand leadership that you think it would be. More like a sociological experiment on how the sacristy of resources affects people in already stressful situations.
Month: February 2023
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ODDS and ENDS: Gumbo, Tottenham Tears, and Tag
(I’m in the people business…)
Every weekend, I try to make a big family meal. My “go to” is a roast chicken, mashed potatoes and a green vegetable. If I get really crazy, I’ll make carnitas for tacos, or a pot roast. This weekend, I am yet again, trying my hand at making gumbo. I have been working on this recipe, more off than on, for the past couple of years, and it never turns out the way I want. I have a very specific vision of what my gumbo should be, which is based off of a local restaurant in the town I grew up in. Sadly, the restaurant has gone out of business, so I’m going off my memories. When I think of this magical gumbo, I see a deep brown color, I taste an aromatic spicy flavor (not “spicy hot” though they encouraged you to add Tabasco to your personal taste,) and it smells fresh as it has been made from scratch. Most of the recipes I have tried put tomatoes in it, which makes the color reddish, or it calls for too much spicy making the heat kill any of the flavor. But, the weather will be cooler this weekend, I have made my own chicken stock, and armed with another recipe, I will chase after this whale.
When I think of Tottenham, it makes me want to cry. It’s like the team doesn’t want to win. They are on the verge of being eliminated from the Champions League, and when it comes to the Premiere League, I think they have parked themselves in 5th place, and won’t be going anywhere else. Like I said, I just want to cry.
For the record, there was a game of tag that I won back in spring of 1997. It took place at a playground not too far from the dorms at UNT. I hadn’t thought about that night in almost 25 years, but it came back to my while I was running on the treadmill this morning. Funny, huh?
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Thoughts on Time and Settling (Unedited)
The wife and I made a promise to each other for 2023. I don’t want to call it a resolution, because those are stupid, and doomed to fail. The promise we made was twofold:
“No more wasting time, and no more settling.”
This isn’t self-help garbage, like the “Hang in There” kitten poster. This is a pragmatic reminder.
We do waste an enormous amount of time each day. Looking at our phones is the biggest culprit. But also, mindless eating while looking at the tv. Staying up late to stay up late (that one’s all me) and I have to go back and mention the phones again, because, you know, phones will eat up hours of your day. See, and this time wasting leads to us having to settle on things, because we haven’t given ourselves enough time to accomplish the things we want to do. It can be a vicious cycle, and we’d like to bust out of unhealthy cycles.
And like all changes in life, no one really likes it, and it’s hard to follow though on.
The wife is doing better than I. She is making it to yoga on the scheduled days, and going to bed on time. I can’t seem to get to the gym more than twice a week, and that should increase to at least three to four days a week. Like I said above, I’m still not making it to bed on time, which means I’m only getting like six hours of sleep.
And as we start the game of setting goals and trying to achieve them as a family, I can’t shake the feeling that there is a clock, and I am running out of time. Maybe it has to do with being in my mid-forties, which I have been thinking about a lot of late, and that I might need to have to make some tough choices; I can’t do it all – something will have to fall to the wayside and be left behind.
I have been with my wife for seventeen years, married for twelve, and they have been good years. We have a kid we love, and want to provide for, which is the real motivation for this. We will only have so much time with her, and then she will be out there in the world. We need to be parents that she can count on, and follow through when we say we are going to do something.
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Where Are the Movies About Gen-X in Their 40’s?
About a week ago, I found on YouTube old episodes of Siskel & Ebert, At the Movies, and Sneak Previews; all the iterations of their show. It did make me miss watching Gene and Roger debating movies. As Patton Oswalt described, those reviews were a godsend for a kid growing up in the suburbs whose access to good cinema was a video store and their suggestions. The other bonus, other than a nostalgia flood, was being reminded of many great movies that I hadn’t seen in years, which I am now reacquainting myself with.
Then I noticed that, starting around the late 70’s and going into the early 80’s, there were many dramas and romantic comedies which addressed Baby Boomers entering their 40’s, and the issues and complications that followed. Divorce and affairs seemed to be the Boomer’s major concern in these films, which makes sense as that generation was coming out of the Sexual Revolution which dramatically/comedically could run in conflict with the desire for a more normal and conventional family life.
The last movie I just finished watching, The Four Seasons, Alan Alda’s directorial debut and meditation on three couples entering middle age and empty nests. Though still a good movie, and no surprise here, it is dated, but dated in the sense that it reflects the sensibilities of its time. Sure, the men dominate the film leaving the women little to do (but Carrol Burnet does steal the show in several of her scenes,) and in the end, it feels like a WASP-y fantasy of a life of leisure. I don’t want to discount that Alda does have some very honest notes with these characters; not wanting to miss out on having joy in one’s life, to have relationships that are still filled with spontaneity and passion, and what it takes to be in a relationship that continues to grow. That I could relate to.
And then it dawned on me…
I’m a Gen-Xer in my mid-forties; Where’s the Gen-X movie about being in your 40’s?
Seriously? What happened? Are those movies out there, and I’ve just missed them? Or are people even making movies like that anymore? (I fully admit, that since I became a father, I totally have dropped off the Earth when it comes to movies. I haven’t seen a film in a theatre that wasn’t children themed in almost ten years, so if I am woefully ignorant, go easy on me.) It can’t fully be that film making and producing and financing has changed THAT much that no one can make a personal drama about real life issues, right?
I find it hard to believe that no one is interested in stories like that. From my perspective, it seems like there is so much material there that could be churned up to make compelling dramatic or rom-com about X-er’s in their 40’s. I don’t think people have changed so much that they don’t want to see themselves through characters dealing with relatively similar issues.
So, where are these movies?
UPDATE: There was This Is 40, but it wasn’t very good, so it doesn’t count.
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Makes Me Happy
First of all, I just found out that Ted Lasso Season 3 premiers on March 15th. It is a little hard for me to pinpoint how happy this news makes me. It’s not just that it is a good tv show, which it is, but what I am feeling is akin to the anticipation of reuniting with a group of old friends I’m very comfortable and at peace when I am around them.
The other thing is that it is Valentine’s Day, which is a very big deal for my daughter. For her, it is still very innocent, and she enjoyed signing Valentine’s Day cards for all of her classmates. We gave the kid some chocolates and some nail polish. After school, we’re going to bake brownies together and play Mario Cart. We celabrate in the traditional ways.
This day isn’t that big of a deal for me and the wife, though she did get me a card this morning. I’m gifting her a bottle of wine, and a foot massage with no expectations. Again, the traditional way to celebrate.
