Month: June 2022

  • Short Story Review: “Mitzvah” by Etgar Keret

    (The short story “Mitzvah” by Etgar Keret appeared in the June 27th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Illustration by Jason Fulford and Tamara Shopsin

    (Heads up! SPOILERS!)

    Well… “Mitzvah” was a very short story. I know that Etgar Keret is famous for his very short short stories, and this is one of them, alright. I understand his popularity. His writing is sharp, even crisp, and direct. He doesn’t fart around and gets right to the point. Sadly, I found the point predictable and the characters flat.

    We meet three characters right off the bat, who all feel like they came from the works of Irvine Welsh; the guy who had a good drug experience, the guy who wants to try and have a drug experience, and the gross guy who sells them the drugs, but who doesn’t like to think of himself as a drug dealer but is a drug dealer. Good drug guy once got high and picked up a woman tourist at the beach, and has convinced new drug guy that if he gets high he can do the same. They take their drugs and head to the beach, but along the way they are stopped by an older man in front of a synagogue. The older man is looking for one more person to have ten men for the minyan. Good drug guy says no and leaves, while new drug guy agrees to take part. The drugs kick in, and new drug guys leaves the synagogue after completing the minyan, heads to the beach, tries to pick up a girl, but her boyfriend beats him unconscious. When new drug guy comes to, the girl is sitting next to him on the beach waiting for the ambulance to arrive. New drug guy thinks that God has blessed him with the girl for completing the minyan.

    The mechanics of a well-made short story are all there. It hits all the notes that are needed to get to its climax and resolution. Yet, it still felt incomplete. I sort of want to say that the story was looking for an “O. Henry” styled twist ending, but it’s not that, but it’s not irony either. I go back to the Welsh comparison, as the story is about drugs, sex, violence, as if there is an overarching morality to it all. I just don’t know, which leads me to conclude that its intention is not clear, which left me feeling that it didn’t work.

    (You know the drill. If you enjoyed what you read, please take a moment to like, share, and/or comment.)

  • Walking Around New York

    I don’t get to walk around New York City like I used to. The advantage of having a job in the City, at least for me, was that it would take me to a different neighborhood than where I lived. On lunch breaks, I would go for a walk.

    When I used to work off of 54th Street, near The Ed Sullivan Theatre, it was fun to walk among the Broadway houses and Times Square. There were a bunch of tourists, but it was fun to watch people from all around the world be amazed at the buildings and signs. I liked walking around on matinee days, and seeing chorus members out running errands. You knew they were in a chorus because they had normal clothes on, but their faces were made up in stage makeup. Another cool thing about being around the Ed Sullivan was that, depending on who was a guest on Letterman, you might see that celebrity walking around the area before the show.

    When I was down on 18th Street, that wasn’t too far from Union Square, and if I felt really adventurous, I could walk down to the north end of the Village and experience the tree lined streets filled with Federal styles row houses. Unions Square was great for people watching, as it wasn’t filled with tourists, and more just local people. Especially on Farmer’s Market days, when there was a great mix of local upstate farms selling all kids of produce. But walking on the Village streets was always a calming experience for me. I would look at the brick homes, and the converted brownstones and wonder what it would be like to be able to walk out your door, and have everything you need only being three blocks or less away.

    My other favorite memory of walking around the City was a long time ago in the Fall, when I was in a puppet show in the Lower East Side. It was a three-week run, and we did a double show on Sundays. The show wasn’t very long, about an hour, so we would have a long break on Sundays, and when we did get out at night, it wasn’t too late. I loved zigzagging through the named streets, and the converted tenement buildings. There was miles of sidewalk scaffolding for inaccessible condo towners that shot up like weeds. It was a cold Fall that season, and everyone was bundled up, and walking hunched over. Some nights, the cast would get a drink together, and then I would wander around, a little drunk, hearing the laughter and shouts falling and spreading out of the bars onto the narrow sidewalks. It was like hearing a million possibilities and adventures calling out.

    I tried this morning to walk a bit. I dropped the car off for an oil change, and I took the long way home. Hell’s Kitchen on a weekday morning isn’t exactly the hive of excitement it was ten hours earlier, but it was a nice change from West Harlem. The Supers were out spraying down the sidewalks, and piling up garbage bags. There was a buzz about the people moving along to where they were going, as there is always something to do, or needs to be done, around here.

    It’s not a perfect place, but I do love living around here. I have begun to think I might not live in this town much longer. So on days like today, I try to enjoy the simple act of walking the city.

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  • My Daughter Called Me Out

    On Saturday night, the kid came out of her room, and told me that she wanted to make a movie. RIGHT NOW! I thought about it for a second, and said yes. Over the course of an hour, she explained to me the story she wanted to tell, I came up with the shot, and we filmed it. The story was of a detective who is hired to find out what happened to the mummy in the museum. The mummy comes to life and the detective sets a trap which captures the monster.

    It was fun, and we are still editing the thing together. Hopefully we will get it completed for festival season.

    I was older than my kid when I started trying to make home movies. I think I was fourteen, and my dad was willing to help out. Though he didn’t want to be on camera unless he really had to, but he was willing to do all the other work. When the kid came out and told me that we had to make a movie, my first thought was of my dad, and how this was my moment to step up, just like he did.

    When I was tucking the kid in that night, I told her how much fun I had with her, and also let her know that her grandfather helped me make movies when I was a kid, too.

    Then the kid said to me, “I didn’t think you would say yes. You say no to things like this.”

    And my heart broke.

    I thought I was the dad who said yes to creative things the kid wants to do. But clearly, I’m the dad that says no. I guess I should feel honored that I was even asked. Either way, it was a huge gut punch. And it happened the day before Father’s Day.

    Unggg…

    By the way, I totally believe her, because when she said it, in my head, I was like yup, I do say no too often. And for the life of me, I’m not sure how I got here.

    (Say! If you enjoyed this post, please take a moment to like, share, or comment on it. These interactions determines my worth as a human.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Local Spurs Bars, YouTube Battle Documentaries, and Most Men Can’t Grill

    (Holy Cannoli!)

    I have found the local NYC Tottenham Hotspur bar. Well, there are two; One in Manhattan and one in Brooklyn. I’m not planning on going there, as I just like knowing that they are there if I need them. Also, the 2022/23 Premiere League fixture schedule came out on Thursday. I won’t bore you with the details, but the season does start on August 6th.

    I think I might have mentioned a while ago that I started watching disc golf tournaments on YouTube. If I haven’t mentioned it,; I do that now. Somehow the YouTube/Google algorithm (which is our new overload and I do welcome them in running the mine) thought I needed to watch some very detailed, slightly melodramatic, and well narrated, mini documentaries about battles from the ancient and medieval world. And the overlord was correct, I am interested in watching them. It’s nerdy fun for me, as they do cover all of the lead up and logistics of the battles, which is something that is normally glossed over in other histories on the same subject. Now, all of these docs have an ad in them, which makes complete sense because somebody’s got to pay for this. I am not knocking these guys for having ads. Hell, I’m probably going to be doing the same thing very soon. What I find impressive about these ads is the seamlessness the voiceover artists have with going from talking about the battle to selling whatever product. It’s like, “Little did Caesar know that Pompey was setting a trap that would decide the future of the Roman Republic, just like how my future was decided when I began using Giglio Men’s Facial Regimen – I product I fully endorse, and suggest that you should try as well.” I tip my cap to these guys; they sell these products just as convincingly as they narrate the documentaries.

    Yeah, most guys don’t know how to grill. (I said, and I ain’t scared.) I have been talking to the wife about this lately because it’s summer, and grilling season, and some guy somewhere will grill some sort of meat for us, and it will be awful. And we will chew this grey piece of burnt bark while being regaled by this guy, telling us how great he is at grilling. Please, fellas, stop it. If you don’t know how to cook in a kitchen, what the fuck makes you think that you are amazing over a grill? It’s like all of the guys turn into the Hulk over the grill. “FIRE! SMASH!” Just… just stop. We, your friends, are begging you. Just stop.

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  • The Arts Are Needed In School

    This morning, I went to my kid’s school for a concert. The kid’s music teacher, Mr. Joel who works for a wonderful organization “Little Orchestra Society” was presenting songs that he and the students wrote together over the school year. Joining Mr. Joel were three professional musicians on stage; a trumpet player, celloist, and a clarinetist. The performance worked like this: Mr. Joel would play the song on his guitar with the student’s singing their song. Then Mr. Joel and the musicians would play the piece, and afterward, the students would make a suggestion for a change, which the musicians would incorporate. It was fun, and we all had a good time.

    Full discloser here, I have worked for “Little Orchestra Society” as a puppeteer. So, I might be a little biased toward what they do, BUT, what they bring to school kids in NYC is pretty important, so you have to deal with my bias. Now, I wasn’t a teacher, just a hired performer, like I assumed the three musicians were today.

    There are many things that are downright stupid about the New York City Public Schools, such as many schools do not have dedicated arts teachers, which requires these schools to contract out for teachers from organizations to come to their schools. The good news is that the artist that show up and teach the kids are amazingly talented, and are truly dedicated to teaching these students. I know, because I have several friends who do this work, and really do pour everything into their time with the kids.

    I also acknowledge that I am in a very special position where I have the ability to go and be an audience member for these performances. Most parents have to work, and I know if they had a choice, they would have been there today. The twenty or so of us that made it, did our best to be loud and supportive. You know, we wanted to make the kids and Mr. Joel feel good about what they accomplished, and also to say thank you to Mr. Joel.  And for me, I also wanted to make sure those three musicians up on stage, who all jokingly admitted that they got the sheet music for the songs the night before, know that their efforts were apricated as well.

    I know I am not the first person to say this, and I know I won’t be the last, but please remember to support the arts in your local school. For those of you in NYC, “Little Orchestra Society” is a wonderful organization to support, and a donation would go a long way to help children in the city.

    (Say! If you like what you have read, please like, share, and leave a comment. It would help justify my existence.)