Skipped Writing (Unedited)

I thought that I would skip writing today. The kid is on Spring Break, which means that I am “on” the whole day. Add on to that, dealing with our car’s repairs, the laundry, and all the other chores; It just didn’t seem like it would be possible to jot anything down.

And that was true

Up to about thirty minutes ago.

The wife is in bed, the kid is in bed, the dishes are done, coffee is made for the morning, and I am watching the Mavericks play the Jazz.

Why aren’t I writing?

I am tired, but I should just get something out.

And I am having trouble holding on to what it is that I should be doing. Most days I don’t know. Most days, I feel like I am still faking it, like a kid on the first day of junior high. Most days, I feel like I am letting the kid down.

I try to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, with the hope that I am leading myself in the right direction.

But most days, I feel like I missed my shot. Most days I feel like I am too late to the party.

And I try to take these feelings and make something out of it.

Which is why I am so fucking tired right now, and I should go to bed, but I’m not.

I’m going to write something, because that makes me feel better.

And that means something.