The kid this morning told me that she wants out of the after-school program that she is in. I asked why, and she told me she doesn’t have any friends. Then she told me to not get a job so we could spend more time together, and that she play with her friends in the park. I think I know what the issue is, which comes down to that there are two classes in after-school program, and her friends from school are in the other class, and she feels like she is missing out.
Parent me listened to her, and didn’t pass any judgement. I did remind her that she just needed to get through this week, and then she would be on Spring Break. After that, she only had eight weeks left, and then it was Summer vacation. After that, we could talk about what to do next.
Regular me knows just what she is going through, as I can remember what it was like to be seven years old, and just wanting to be with your friends. The total and all-consuming angst of not being around them, and assuming that they have forgotten about you, and are no longer having fun. For a split second I almost told her it’s not that big of a deal, but I stopped that. It is a big deal to her. This is the first time she is experiencing something like this, and I don’t want to make her feel ashamed for feeling this way.
I do know that my job is to help her cope and overcome these feelings, in a healthy and constructive way.
Sadly, I don’t know if I ever learned that skill set myself. I still feel like I am missing out. That all my friends are having fun without me.
So, I have work to do for the both of us.
Leave a comment