Month: March 2022

  • Why is My Eye Twitching?

    My right eye won’t stop twitching. Usually, this is a sign that I am under a great deal of stress. But, I can’t seem to place the epicenter of my stress. I cannot deny the physical occurrence that is continuing to happen to my right eye. I can look in the mirror and see it happen. I know myself well enough that this malady will only appear in times when stress becomes overwhelming. Thus, I must conclude, that I am under a boulder of stress.

    Again, where is it coming from?

    My first reaction is to always look at myself. What have I changed? If anything, I have added more healthy habits who all should have the wonderful side effect of eliminating, if not lessening stress. I am working out four times a week. We, as a family, have started eating healthier, including two vegetarian meals a week. And, my alcohol consumption is only on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

    Then the next question would be; has anything changed recently in my home?

    Yes, the kid has started going to an afterschool program, which was something that we all wanted. She is spending more time with kids. Our home is calmer, with the child being gone for the working hours of the day, which helps the wife focus and work. For me, I am now getting three to four hours a day to work on writing, which makes me feel better about myself, because I am getting to do something I love, and also, makes me feel that I have a purpose outside of my family.

    So, what is it? What is causing this stress?

    Is the stress external? Is it still a result of Covid, and the changes that it brought? The war in Ukraine, and the feeling that everything is teetering on disaster? Global warming?

    Possible, though I have never had stress caused by that before. But, that does make a little sense, such as life at home is good, but outside of the house, it’s all a dumpster fire.

  • Short Story Review: “The Biographer’s Hat” by Cynthia Ozick

    (The short story, “The Biographer’s Hat” by Cynthia Ozick, appeared in the March 14th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    (I spoil things…)

    When it comes to these reviews, I have a rule that I adhere to, which is I do not read up on the author or inspiration for the story I am about to review. The reason for this is to try and stay as objective and uninfluenced as possible. You know, review the story on the merits. Now, obviously, there are a few writes that I know before hand, so it’s not a perfect system.

    I know nothing of Cynthia Ozick, but I do respect that she got a short story in The New Yorker. And when I started reading her piece which is in the latest issue, “The Biographer’s Hat,” my mind began to wander and wonder a little. The story’s beginning felt like it was from a bygone era of literature. I wasn’t sure if that was a purposeful style choice, or if this was a story that was written in the 90’s by some respected but relative unknow writer, who’s had a prolific output spanning over 40 years.

    In a nutshell, the narrator is an older woman who once took a class at The New School which was taught by Emanuel Teller, who was a performer of some minor fame years ago. A biographer has contacted the narrator for an interview, and we learn that just about everyone who knew Teller is now dead, except for the narrator. When the interview happens, the narrator is stuck by how odd the biographer is, and when the interview is over, the biographer leaves a hat on a chair, which is claimed to have belonged to Teller. The Narrator never hears from the biographer again, so the hat, which is slowly collapsing, is stored in her closet and forgotten about. Time moves on, the biographer returns to the narrator, and talks her into allowing him to stay for a short while, as he completes the biography. Soon, the narrator takes part in the creation of the biography, helping the biographer create a narrative that is fictional. When the manuscript is complete, the biographer leaves, and the narrator never hears from him again. Then one night, the narrator retrieves the hat from the closet only to find that it has completely collapsed.

    Oh, this is a story, and it is told sparsely and efficiently, and takes you on a journey. But most impressive, Ozick was in complete control of this story, though I didn’t see it at first. I see now that my reaction to the start of the story was purposely constructed, that I and the narrator are both wondering what is going on. It is done so well, that when I got to the part where the biographer returns, and starts to weave his idea that the narrator should help him in creating this fictious reality for the biography, it dawned on me that Ozick had planted seeds in that first part of the story; The Village of old, the writers, the people who supported writers to make then successful, even the narrator’s desire to be on stage. I saw how the biographer played on the narrator’s desires, and how she almost knew she was being lied to, but it was a pretty lie that validated her existence.

    It all made sense. The structure that the story was built on, how the tumblers of the narrative feel into place, the character’s motivations, all of it worked. I’m sorry that I doubted you Cynthia Ozick. You knew exactly what you were doing, and played me like a mark.

  • Talking to My Daughter about Ukraine

    It’s been very hard over the past week to talk to my daughter about the war in Ukraine. A hard conversation, but one that I know we need to have. She’s seven, and sees the world as good guys vs bad guys, which I do think makes explaining this war to her a little easier. Putin is the bad guy for starting this war, that’s the easy part. Everything else has been challenging.

    I have found that the “Mr. Rogers Rule” works really well. That rule is simple, “Look for the helpers. When things are bad, there are always people wanting to help.” Luckily, there are still parts of humanity that aren’t garbage, and we have been pointing out how the people of Poland, and other nations as well, are helping with the refugees; giving food, shelter, medical care, and safety. We have even talked about what we can do here, to help all the people over there.

    Now, we don’t purposefully have her watch the news. Most of the time, when we tell her that we are going to put the news on, she will leave the room as that stuff is boring to her. But now and then, she’ll walk into the livingroom and catch something, an image; a building on fire, a blown up tank, or a dead body in the street. My gut reaction is that I don’t want her to see these things, but I don’t want to shield her, nor stop her from asking questions about difficult subjects.

    The one thing that I think she is grasping is that war is not good. Even the “good” wars were still awful.

  • Mask Free NYC

    Today is the first day that New York City has sort of done away with their mask mandate. Well… You still have to put on a mask if you use mass transit, but I think I will be doing that from here on out. The most important mask free part of the City are in the schools; no more required masks in the classrooms.

    Last night, the principal for my daughter’s school sent out an email, reminding parents that masks would be optional starting on Monday morning. Then she went on to request that parents talk to their children about respecting each student’s and family’s decision on whether to wear a mask or not. No teasing will be allowed, and we must respect each other’s choices.

    And we did talk to the kid about all of this. We asked her if she wanted to wear a mask or not; her choice was not to wear a mask. Then we talked to her about respecting her fellow student’s choice to have a mask on or not. That each family has to make that decision for themselves, and what might be right for them, could be different from us, and that’s okay. She said she got it, and would treat everyone the same. As we headed out for school today, the wife and I put a mask in her coat pocket, and another one in her backpack. We reminded her that it was okay to change her mind. That if she wanted to put her mask back on, she could.

    At the schoolyard, where all the kids line up before going in, I have to say that it was a 50/50 split of all the people there. The kid’s teacher had a mask on, and so did the vice-principal, and I understand that decision. They are the ones on the front line, but also, that mask will also help cut down on catching colds and the flu. So, I respect that decision.

    But what jumped out to me was that here we all were, (parents, students, teachers and staff,) doing what we think is best for our kids and ourselves, and everything was fine. Tomorrow might be a totally different situation, but at this moment, everyone is cool with everyone else’s choice.

    Walking home, it really didn’t feel like that much of a change. It still felt like it did the day before, with people in and out of masks. Everyone going about their business; Coming and going, still looking kind’a annoyed. You know, the New Yorker face.

    For me, it feels like a small step forward. I know we aren’t back to normal, and there is a good chance that we will never return to what normal was. But a step, even a very small one is progress.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Tottenham Woes Continue, Mushroom Stock, and Explaining War

    Tottenham lost their FA Cup match against Middlesbrough on Tuesday. (I head you saying, “Who did what now?”) Doesn’t matter. Tottenham should have won that match, it’s embarrassing, and I really don’t think there is any hope left for this team to make it back to the top of the rankings to at least make it to the Champions League for next season. Who knew that Mauricio Pochettino time as manager would be the high watermark for this club?

    Why is mushroom stock so hard to find? It used to be that we could easily get it around Thanksgiving, but over the last few years, it’s disappeared. I looked it up on Amazon, and I can either by a 12 pack for $48, or buy a single 4cup box for $3 but get charged $5 for delivery and $5 for a driver tip. I am also fully aware that I can make my own mushroom stock rather inexpensively and quickly, but I still wonder, why is this item so hard to find.

    This week the wife and I had to have a very serious conversation with our daughter. We had to explain to her that war is bad. And even when the good guys win, that still means a lot of innocent people had to suffer to get there. It’s not fun and games. A war is an awful thing.