Month: March 2021

  • Returning to In-Person School for NYC

    Outside if NYC, I don’t know how many of you have heard, but today starts enrolment for remote students to return to blended in-person classes. As we are a remote learning family, we have from today to April 7th to decide if we will stay remote, or move over to in-person blended learning. Also, according to Department of Education, this is our last opportunity to make this change.

    What will we do?

    We have a great remote teacher for our daughter, and our teacher is actually one of the two main kindergarten teachers for the school we are in, or would be in if Covid hadn’t happened. So, we know that what she is teaching our daughter is in line with what is needed to move up to 1st Grade in that school, and the system at large in the whole school. Also, being that our kid is actually thriving in this not quite normal environment, makes us think she has the right teacher she needs.

    But, it is remote learning.

    And in remote learning, she is not getting the personal attention she needs from a teacher, nor is she getting any social interaction which is very necessary at this age.

    But, moving to blended in-person learning means that she would get another new teacher, which would be her third for the year. It would be another set of kids that she would be introduced to. And that change means that there will need to be another adjustment period, which could slow down her progress. And it still wouldn’t be five days a week classes, as it would be every other day. That doesn’t sound like that would be the best for her either.

    Yet, I had been hoping, really hoping, that the kid would start back to school so I could get a jump on all the things that I want to do, but can’t because, well, I spend all of my time with the kid when she is awake. I feel very selfish and guilty for saying this. I have enjoyed, and treasured this time that I get to spend with her, and I know that it has been a planet’s lining up fortuitus achievement that I have been able to help her learn how to read and write, which is something that would have never happened if not for Covid and getting laid off…

    But…

    I want to get a jump on my career again, but not at the expense of the kid.

    We’ve got two weeks to figure this out.

  • Two Mass Shootings, Again

    Two mass shootings happened in the span of a week, and only now, for me, is it sinking in what has happened.

    I am not proud of this fact, but it felt normal.

    The poor guy in Boulder, CO standing outside of the grocery store saying that he feels like no place is safe pretty much sums it up. No place is safe, and we are all fine with it.

    Asian-Americans have been saying for over a year that they are being scapegoated for Covid-19, but did anyone listen? People had been pointing out for a year that the rhetoric that Trump and his supports were using was hurting Asian communities, but it was blown off. In fact, I saw a conservative friend ask why it was okay to “UK Variant,” but why couldn’t he say, “China Virus?”

    It doesn’t register for most people anymore. Even when it turns violent. Even when the inevitable AR-15 or whatever semi-automatic people killing gun is used, it doesn’t matter.

    Apathy has won.

    Most Americans see the hate, see the use of guns to kill large numbers, and they shrug because we have given up. There will be another racist attack. There will be another mass shooting. And we give up.

    We give up because it will turn into a debate about free speech and the 2nd Amendment.

    But it’s not about that. It’s about hate and fear. And are we going to do something? When will it be different? Or when will I blog about this same thing all over again?

  • Watching Movies

    I’m a big movie fan, and I especially love awful, really bad movies. As a huge MST3k fan, that should come as no surprise. But, I still remember the wonder, and awe of going to see “Empire Strikes Back” in a theater with my dad and brothers. When I think back on it, it was like I won the lottery with “Empire” being my first movie. It set the bar pretty high.

    I also love sharing the movies that I grew up watching with my daughter. Some movies hold up really well, and some were not as good as I thought they were. But not all 80’s movies for kids are created equal. I’m not sure my six-year old daughter is ready for a melting Nazi.

    And today, I started to wonder when I can start watching dramas with her. You know, grown up dramas where what all the adults do is talk a lot, and the movie usually ends hopeful, but also a little sad. You know, like “Ordinary People,” Chariots of Fire,” “The Verdict” “The Big Chill” “Places in the Heart” “A Room with a View” “Broadcast News” “The Accidental Tourist” and “Dead Poets Society.”  

    When I was growing up, we didn’t get cable, but we got a VCR, and rented movies. My parents would rent a movie for us boys, usually an action movie like “Jaws” or “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” and then the parents would rent a grownup movie, like from the list above. And out of all of those movies, the first one that I remember sitting through, and not leaving after the first boring talkie ten minutes, was “The Accidental Tourist,” which when I think about it, was an odd choice for 11 year old me to sit through, and enjoy.

  • First Time at the Dentist

    Yesterday was the kid’s first experience with going to see a dentist. I know for some people going to the dentist is not an enjoyable experience, and looking at the websites for pediatric dentists, almost all of them have a page dedicated to calming your child’s fears of going to the dentist for the first time.

    My kid saw Little Shop of Horrors, so she didn’t have the healthiest appreciation of the dental profession.

    But I was committed to making sure that the kid would have no issues with going to see the dentist for the first time. I found lots of videos online about kids going to the dentist where they explained the tools, and the procedures. We watched them together, and she very quickly associated that dentists are just like any other doctor, as they are there to help and make you feel better.

    And the pediatric dental office we went to was great! This is what they do, but they were really great at making the kid feel special, and explaining everything to her, so she wasn’t afraid. I could even feel my anxiety rise as the cleaning started, and the kid let the assistant start touching her teeth, but she was fine. It was all fine, and the kid even said that she found the dentist fun!

    I told her how proud I was of her. Then we got home to tell mom all about the dentist, and I added how proud I was of the kid. After dinner, I reminded the kid of how brave she was at the dentist, and that made me proud. As we brushed our teeth before bed, I reminded her how proud I was how she handled the dentist. And then when I tucked her in, she told me to stop telling her how proud I was of her.

    I was laying it on rather thick.

    And I had committed the sin of trying to over parent my child to compensate for my perceived failings in my life. I was a nervous, anxiety riddled child. I worried so much about things, that I often made myself sick to my stomach to where I couldn’t get out of bed. I wish I wasn’t the worry-wart little kid, as it created self-doubt and fear in me, and I have had to work hard as an adult to overcome it. I just wanted to make sure the kid isn’t afraid of things like I was.

    This might be one of those life lessons where as I parent I need to set the example, rather than over praise.

  • Supporting the Local Coffee Shop

    We got a dog way back in February of 2020. It was a birthday gift for the kid, and we just beat the huge rush of people getting pets before the Covid lockdown. We love our little dog, and it has been great having a little furry animal to snuggle and play with. The dog is great with the kid and people. She wags her tail when people talk to her, and she lets them pet her. But if another dog is near, our little girl turns into a ragging killer, as our dog hates all other dogs.

    Well, the other day on our morning walk, I saw that a store front which had butcher-paper over windows, was now opened as a coffee shop, and a local coffee shop at that! Not a chain, but an actual local coffee shop. My first thought was that this is great, as now we have a place to get a real cup of coffee, that was not corporate, or, no offense, a crappy bodega coffee that could have been sitting around for days. Then I was struck by the solid courage that this person has for opening a new business, a food service business non the less, in New York City during a pandemic. That right there has made me a fan of this place.

    And I look forward to going in to it. One day.

    Though the coffee shop is dog friendly, as I have seen other people with their dogs getting a cup, but If I were to head in there with my dog, and another dog were to enter, then all hell would break loose, and I don’t want to be that guy.

    But, you know, I don’t leave the apartment for leisure. I don’t leave the apartment unless I have a task to accomplish. I don’t know when I will visit this place regularly. This coffee shop is such a temptation for the life of normalcy that is very, very close to becoming a reality. I will get a cup of coffee in the joint to support of this proprietor, but what I want is to go to the place, get a cup of coffee, and just talk a walk in the city again, and drop in shops, and see places, and be social.