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Two years ago, today, my mother passed away. It happened too fast. In June
she had a funny feeling in her throat when she swallowed. In August, she was diagnosed
with a tumor in esophagus and lung. In late September she when in fir a surgery
to remove the mass from her lung. Her three day stay in the hospital turned
into a week. The next week her lungs started to fail. Then she was moved to
hospice, and died on a Sunday morning.
In five months, everything changed. It was awful, and hard, and none of us
in the family have yet found solid ground under our feet. But we were reminded
how strong our family bond is. We were all there for our Dad, and for each
other.
Last year at this time, I was a sad angry wreck. I have a great wife that
gave me space, and time, and allowed me to grieve the way I discovered that I
needed.
This year, I felt I was handling it well. It wasn’t a matter of seeing the
date coming up on the calendar, but more like I could feel the date coming in
me. And yesterday, it was an anxious feeling, not knowing how I would feel or
react to this day. I think I am dealing with it better than I thought.
Today is a sad day; melancholy and sluggish. I did speak to my father; which
I am sure my brothers did the same thing. I wouldn’t say that we are getting
better, or that it hurts less. It’s a part of me. It is a part now that reminds
me to love those in my life, and to let them know.
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