Admitting Truth, and Novel Chapters

There are a few things I think is best to just to admit to myself, and you while I’m at it…

One is that I love reading crap on the internet, and going down rabbit holes that eat up about 30 minutes at a time. When I make this mistake, I swear to myself that I will never do it again, and then about an hour later, I’m right back at looking stupid crap, eating up valuable time.

Two is that I hate our health insurance system. I especially hate how dental insurance runs a completely different type of insurance scam that is somehow legal. (So, I pay monthly for dental insurance, but it covers nothing?) I have never had a good experience with health insurance, and I never will.

Three is that I keep debating if I really like doing the work of writing, or if I like the idea of doing the work of writing, and I may never come to a true conclusion and that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

You can see how my day has been going.

The last major project I need to work on today is the novel. Sadly, as I was journaling earlier today, and I find myself stuck in a corner that I have created when it comes to the novel. I have three decent chapters for the “first act” of the book, but I feel like I have run out of gas. I know where the protagonist needs to be at the start of the “second act” but I am have trouble getting him there, or even seeing how he will get there. The best I could come up with today was to just write as much of the first act as possible, and then when stuck, just start the second act, and see what happens.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is a first draft and that it won’t be perfect. I keep having so much trouble accepting that as the truth.

Ah…

Four, my first draft will be terrible and that is okay.